Worst Season Of ‘Real Housewives Of NYC’ Ever!

Never mind #LegGate or #BookGate, this was the single, worst season of the ‘Real Housewives of NYC’ EVER!!!! Forgive my over punctuation, but I’m seething right now. I just watched the finale, and Aviva threw her prosthetic leg to prove a point, but honestly, she was justified. On the other hand, I think this was possibly a contrived aka produced moment.

Here’s what she told ‘EXTRA':

Drescher said, “You know sometimes my leg just gets away from me… I was actually provoked all season long, attacked, and I just got to my wit’s end. Some people throw down their glasses in anger. I just was looking at Heather Thompson standing above me, which was really in poor form, and Heather was screaming at me, calling me a fake, calling me this and that. I just had this knee-jerk reaction to take my leg and bang it on a table to hopefully shut up these shrews who were coming after me.”

Okay, from a production point of view, this moment was pure gold. Of course, there have been rumors the ratings for this season have hit an all-time low, and another rumor? If there is a season 7, Ramona will be the only wife invited back. If the latter rumor is true, AMEN! And why the hell was LuAnn considered a “supporting wife” this year? She was on more episodes than Aviva. Oh Aviva. Does she have some issues with hypochondria? Yes, but why would she purposely take herself out of half of the season if she didn’t really have even slight asthma? I think there’s another reason she was omitted from the Montana trip episodes. I think the producers wanted to show off Kristen as maybe the new crazy one, and she delivered. I zoned out during the last Montana episode because it was majorly boring beyond belief. I’ll tell you one thing, Kristen will not be invited back for another season.

Speaking of making cuts, I know no one from BRAVO or Andy Cohen will be reading this, but please get rid of Heather! I think she could be the new Sonja with all her name-dropping. Honey, no one cares about P. Diddy, so please stop already! And every time she says “HOLLA!”, I want to crawl under a rock. Guess what Heather, you may be from NYC, but YOU’RE WHITE! In a lot of ways, you are whiter than white. Oh, and don’t sing ever again. I would take back every other wife that has appeared on the show before I ever gave her the time of day. Yes, even Kelly, the star of Scary Island. Now Scary Island in season 3? Those were the best vacation episodes ever in any of the franchises.

The real drama that should have been in this season, Ramona and Mario’s marriage troubles, was swept under the rug, and we were stuck with Mario warbling through a shitty song at “Bird Land”. For all her insanity, Ramona is still Ramona. Her M.O. from season 1 has never changed. Even though she had her ridiculous “don’t get my hair wet” rant this season, which was stupid and she could have really hurt Kristen with her glass, she was the same Ramona.

So, let’s see. We need LuAnn back full-time. We need to get rid of Heather, Kristen, and as much as it pains me, Aviva. For her own good and her own sanity, Aviva needs to look elsewhere for self-promotion other than a “ghost written” autobiography. Yeah, maybe Carole stays, but when Aviva went after her writing ability, that was mega-low.  She does amazing charity work with amputees. She was shown with a Boston Marathon survivor in one scene this season; it’s too bad the editing couldn’t show more of her good deeds. Instead, we have to watch exhausting scene after exhausting scene of Sonja and her army of interns. I don’t think I would let Sonja go just yet. She’s crazy, but she’s real. Well, she’s not real when facing her financial issues, but it makes a good storyline. I’m still waiting on her “brand” to make an appearance.

Now there’s been other rumors circulating now that Bethenny Frankel’s talk show has been canceled, she may be looking for something else to do. Honestly, I don’t think moving back to the Housewives would be her best move, but if it happens, I’m so on board. And why does the series need a minimum of five ladies? Story development flows so much better when there are fewer miniscule spats to follow. If you have six or more Wives, each one has to fight for airtime.

Here’s the real truth, all of the Housewives series, except maybe OC, need to step it up a notch. I’m already bored with New Jersey. I loved Dina in season one, then she left in season two, but now she’s back, and everything with her so far has been snooze city. Her only leg to stand on, so to speak, is her support of Teresa and Joe, which frankly, I’m over their problems. Do they deserve some jail time? Absolutely. Will it happen? Maybe, but I’m leaning towards probably not. The new Wives on NJ are boring. Maybe Franklin Lakes finally ran out of crazy bitches. ‘Ladies of London’? ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ, really.

I’ll keep watching BRAVO, but all the Housewives need a reality check.

Emmy Nomination Thoughts

HBO's "True Detective" Season 1 / Director: Cary Fukunaga

Well the 2014 Emmy nominations are out and for the most part, I’m happy with them. Yeah, you’ll read a lot of articles about who or what didn’t get nominated, but one article introduced to me to a new term, the genre show. Apparently, genre shows, like Hannibal and Orphan Black are not Emmy worthy because they are not broad enough and I would say sometimes, they aren’t available to their intended audiences. Even though I’m over the moon that three of my favorites (Orange is the New Black, True Detective, and Fargo) got a lot of nods, Fargo has 18?!?, the shows I previously mentioned are being shafted just because they aren’t every one’s cup of tea. I’m calling bullshit, and I’m pointing the finger at basic cable.

While it’s really cool when a non big network show scores big with audiences, it doesn’t leave an even playing field for all the the actors, writers, directors who work really hard to take your attention away from Modern Family. I swear, while I’m still a fan, I really hope another show can topple MF; it’s time Academy, we aren’t stupid. I predict a dark horse winner like OITNB or Louie. And one quick note on Orange, while I’m glad Laverne Cox got the Guest Actress nod she deserved, I’m pissed you don’t see much of her (spoiler!) in season 2. I think I’m disappointed the most that Hannibal got zero nods. While it’s not for the average TV viewer with its extreme, yet beautiful gore and violence, it’s at least worthy of a Writing or Directing nod. This year’s Drama category is just not big enough for every show in all of its related categories. I would say McConaughey and Harrelson knocked James Spader (The Blacklist) and the Hannibal gang out of contention. I mean good Lord, how awesome was True Detective? I predict big wins for the eerie HBO crime series.

A loophole a genre show like the 17 times nominated American Horror Story: Coven can pass through is entering as a mini-series. This is probably how Fargo scored all of its nods; it only had 10 episodes. In the olden days, a mini-series consisted of no more 3 two-hour installments. ROOTS, that’s a mini-series. A mini-series was more of a mini-movie. The only true mini-series nominated in the mini-series category Bonnie and Clyde, I didn’t watch. All right, alas here are my predictions for the major categories.

Outstanding Comedy Series — Please God, let Orange is the New Black win.

Outstanding Lead Actor in a Comedy Series — Louie C.K.

Outstanding Lead Actress in a Comedy Series — Once and for all, Amy Poehler!!!

Outstanding Drama Series — I want True Detective to win, but I have a feeling since Breaking Bad ended its run…

Outstanding Lead Actor in a Drama Series — Unless they don’t cancel each other out, I would pick McConaughey over Harrelson here, but Breaking Bad‘s Bryan Cranston may pull it out simply for the fact, again, it was the final season.

Outstanding Lead Actress in a Drama Series — I only know the work of Downton Abbey‘s Michelle Dockery here, but she won’t win. This one is going to be a toss-up/upset.

Outstanding Mini-Series — I say Fargo

Outstanding Television Movie — Hands down, The Normal Heart

Outstanding Lead Actor in a M-S or TV Movie — This category is going to have a photo finish i.e. too close to call, but I’m going to hold out hope for Billy Bob.

Outstanding Lead Actress in a M-S or TV Movie — Eh, probably Jessica Lange, but she could cancel out herself and fellow AHS nominee Sarah Paulson, I don’t know the other ones except Kristen Wiig in The Spoils of Babylon. Too weird for the Emmys.

That’s all I got. The Emmy Awards air August 25th (Seth Myers hosting, bleeech!) on NBC.

The Thing That Was ‘True Tori’

gossipcop.com/lifetime

gossipcop.com/lifetime

Men are bastards! Yes, I’m not heterosexual, but I’ve known enough women in my life who are and their men are either good as gold or as transparent as plastic wrap. It’s sad that for the sake of a TV show (and a paycheck), actress/author/Donna Martin portrayer Tori Spelling doesn’t get it. Dean cheated on her; he engaged in a “two-day affair” while he was in his native Canada shooting “Chopped: Canada” for the Food Network; every episode began with a reminder of McDermott’s dirty deed.

I’ve been a fan of Tori’s various reality shows. I was suspicious when “Tori & Dean: Home Sweet Hollywood” didn’t return. Maybe the family had enough money to do without the boob tube for a while. I think I read about Dean’s affair online. Never in a million years did I think Tori would actually go for it and she would document the beginnings of her family’s healing process. I would say the decision was made since the kids are still young. Liam is the oldest at 7 and their last child, Finn is 18 months. I definitely remember reading about Tori’s last pregnancy with Finn and the scary complications. And I thought well that’s why they aren’t doing a show anymore. In a way, the show was a good thing because it’s rare to see a family go through the process in such a raw way. In the first episode, Tori is schlepping the kids around and 2-year-old Hattie throws up which causes Tori to nearly wreck. Naturally since news of the affair broke, the paparazzi have followed Spelling non-stop, including popping shots of a mother trying to clean up after a sick kid. I just couldn’t understand why Spelling would insist, on camera, on not having extra help with the kids. Dean had to go to rehab for three months, so it’s believed Tori was on her own. Um, where was grandma Candy???? I guess she and Tori were not in agreement on this latest project.

mylifetime.com

mylifetime.com

What ensues is “intense” couples therapy with Dean coming off as a jackass and Tori coming off as the naive wife who, if you read up on the couple, Tori sort of broke up Dean’s first marriage. Bottom line, both parties cheated on their respective spouses because they fell in love and yada yada yada. So, Dean had technically cheated before. The kids, except for Liam, are in the dark as to why Daddy isn’t home. Oh and does Daddy want to come home! I bet Tori let him just to take of the slack of tending to their children. I love how almost every one of their friends think Tori should get rid of Dean, and at one point, Dean admits to one of his male friends he didn’t think he would “get caught”. Oh really, which tells me there are probably more women out there and we’ll all be reading about it soon.

I know Tori looks really bad, physically, on the show. Yeah, she’s never been drop dead gorgeous, but she’s dropped a lot of weight and she hardly ever puts her hair up.  The part on the reunion show that aired this week that got me, Tori has a tattoo of her wedding vows on the side of her rib cage, and damnit, as a “grand gesture” Dean revealed he also got a wedding vow tattoo, vows that he broke.

mylifetime.com

mylifetime.com

My thoughts exactly. I’m just sad Tori is so blinded by greed to see her husband for who he is. If they stay together, it won’t surprise me, but if they split up, it also won’t be surprising. And how does the story end? Dean is invited back to tape another season of “Chopped: Canada” and Tori is co-starring with her former ‘90210’ pal Jennie Garth in the ABC Family series “Mystery Girls”, which has not aired yet. That’s it, get some good honest work for once so you won’t be absorbed by all your normal people problems! I’m kidding. Oh and a bonus footage episode of “True Tori” airs next week. Make it stop!

‘GLEE’ And I Have Irreconcilable Differences

All right, I know I’ve been a champion of ‘Glee’ in the past, but this is how I feel now when I watch it.

Mime stuff! (fox.com/glee)

Mime stuff! (fox.com/glee)

I don’t know if it’s because Cory Montieth unexpectedly passed away or the writers are desperate for ideas (example, last week when Artie had his STD scare, really?!?), but ‘Glee’ is on the verge of being eliminated in my viewing queue. Honestly, even if Montieth/Finn had lived, I still think the show would have suffered creatively. When I look back at the excitement I felt five years ago when the pilot premiered, the show, the idea, they were so fresh. Ryan Murphy and his co-creators took a new look at the high school outcast scenario; he gave them a voice and the gift of song; a purpose for the outcasts and the secret singing jock. ‘Glee’ was not going to be “Hopelessly Devoted to You”, oh no, it was going to take those students’ struggles and catapult them into primetime with a weekly lesson in the choir room. And that first season’s big story, the star cheerleader, Quinn, gets pregnant, and jock turned glee club member is led to believe the baby is his. Yeah, it’s a trite story, but when music helped to tell the story which would end in heartbreak for the young quarterback, the show was at its best. Five years later, both Quinn and Finn are gone, and their former classmates are all trying to “make a go of it” in New York City a la the kids from Fame or Stephen Sondheim. In the end, the NYC move and really the entire series has been centered around Rachel (Lea Michele) and her goal to star as Fanny Brice on Broadway. What do you know? It happened! I understand that when her late on-screen/off-screen boyfriend died, the show had to be re-tooled, but come on, why did it have to be so predictable?

You have the Clap? How icky! (fox.com/glee)

You have the Clap? How icky! (fox.com/glee)

I think we all knew certain members of the original McKinley High Glee Club, I’m sorry, New Directions, had a limited shelf life. Yes, I’m talking about you Tina Cohen-Chang. I’m sure Jenna Ushkovitz is a nice girl, and she can sing, but she will never be able to escape that character, who was a truly selfish person, and I’m sorry, but very unlikeable. I NEVER liked Tina, because she also had a chip on her shoulder and she felt like she had to stutter to get attention?!? Weird, but other characters were so stereotyped, they also became unbearable to watch. Case in point, even though Sue Sylvester (Jane Lynch, who won several awards for the role) had her likable moments, her whole “I have to shut down the glee club” campaign went on for too many seasons; however, she finally got her wish just a few weeks ago (SPOILER) in season five. As far as we, the audience are concerned, New Directions is done for good, to make way for ‘Glee’s version of Adventures in Babysitting. Yes I know, that movie didn’t take place in NYC, but humor me! This next section will break your heart, but I’ve never liked these two together.

Someone actually made this? (deviantart.com)

Someone actually made this? (deviantart.com)

Damn me, but I’ve just never liked the chemistry between Kurt and Blaine aka “Klaine”. I get it, I live in Kentucky. ‘Glee’ takes place in Ohio. Even though part of the Midwest is coming around to the idea of at least recognizing out-of-state gay marriages, there is a very long way to go. This part of the country can still be a little limited in thriving gay communities; thus, these two are stuck with each other, at least until the end of the series (TBD). To me, Kurt has always been everything and Chris Colfer, who won a Golden Globe in 2011, has been spot on the entire series. This performance is from a few weeks ago; it’s one of my favorites.

Yeah, I still find things to like about ‘Glee’, but I’m just tired. My sister, who has also soured on the show, she made a good point. She said the show should have started with all of the New Directions kids as freshmen. If you obsess over those kinds of details, the series started when Rachel, Kurt, Mercedes, Finn, Santana, etc. were sophomores. Well if you want to get specific, Artie and Tina were freshmen at the beginning of the series since they just graduated a few weeks ago on the show. And wouldn’t it have been cool if ‘Glee’ started without Will Schuester? The freshmen struggle in their first year, decide to get a glee club going again and Mr. Schue just happens to come back to teach at his alma mater, then the glee club really gets going in season 2. It’s too easy. Eh, but if you have underclassmen joining up, you would have to get all Menudo every season. Oh what the hell? I’m in too deep, but I will hate watch ‘Glee’, sometimes.

Note to Blaine: You are fine, but you don’t belong with Kurt. I’ve counted to ten.

 

If I Ever Doubt Kentucky Again…Slap Me!

First of all, let’s get this out of the way.

165305_1699327235804_6137949_nIs it true I’m from Kentucky? Yes. Is it true I don’t root for the Kentucky Wildcats? Hell yes! Here’s what happened. I used to be a Kentucky fan. I loved Joe B. Hall, Kenny Walker, Dickey Beal, Melvin Turpin (RIP), Ed Davender, all of those early to mid 80s Cats. However, when I was in fourth grade, a certain player from Owensboro, Apollo High School’s Rex Chapman came along, and when a certain coach, Eddie Sutton took over, I decided to boycott Kentucky basketball. And at the time, it was the right decision. Because just after four years, UK became embroiled in recruiting scandal, Chapman bailed for the NBA, Sutton resigned, and the team was banned from post-season play for two years. During Sutton’s tenure, the Louisville Cardinals won a National Championship in 1986 against Duke; Jay Bilas’ swag was denied that night. Pervis Ellison, I’m just going to leave it there.

And when Rick Pitino took the reins of a flailing UK program, my resentment only grew stronger. To be fair, to this day and yes, Pitino is now at Louisville, I’ve always admired his coaching prowess. I just couldn’t get into the Kentucky love parade. Pitino led the Cats one title in 1996. I was a sophomore at WKU, and I watched the game with two Kentucky fans. I just knew when it was over, the campus would go nuts. I heard some happy screaming, but that was about it. It’s funny when you go to a school, yet you see a lot of blue around. It’s crazy, but there were Louisville fans there too, including me. I will always support my Hilltoppers. GO BIG RED! You lovable blob!

western_kentucky_university_big_redAll right, this could take all day, so let’s just fast-forward to now. In the John Calipari era, my hate for Cats has hit new heights. By the way, was he always called “Coach Cal”? I don’t think so. Again, he’s a good coach, but there’s an air about him that is just irritating to me. And the fans? Don’t get me started! I will say this, UK fans are some of the most loyal in all of sports. Loyal, yet feisty over every win and loss. Calipari has also come under fire for his “one and done” recruits. It doesn’t bother me that much anymore, because I believe most of this year’s freshmen will be back. I could be wrong, but as amazing as they have performed in this years NCAA tournament, and if they would happen to lose the weekend OR in a title game, I would think they would all have the desire to keep going to school, and they would have the desire to get better as players and as leaders. Which leads me to this assessment…

2014 CatsThis team is legit. And if I ever decide to pay money in an NCAA tournament pool again (I will), I will never bet against the Cats. Why? They prove everyone, even their biggest haters like me wrong almost every damn time! I still think if Louisville had hit all of their free throws in the first half the other night, they would’ve won, but I’m not quite sure they could have beaten Michigan. But guess what? UK didn’t give up and they are back in the Final Four, and as much as it pains me to say, they might win their ninth championship.

Alas, if they don’t, I will celebrate.

 

The Pros And Cons Of Lady GaGa’s “G.U.Y.” Video (Short Film)

Well Lord, it’s been about a minute since I blogged about Mother Monster. And well, I have my reasons. As far as I’m concerned, GaGa is in need of some reality. Ironically, there is some reality in her new short film/video for “G.U.Y.” Specifically, some reality TV stars. Since GaGa is supposedly a fan of Bravo, she asked the current Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, minus Brandi Glanville and new/soon to be gone wife Joyce Giraud, and Bravo big wig/Watch What Happens Live! host Andy Cohen to tag along on this puzzling adventure.

Seriously? (rumorfix.com)

Seriously? (rumorfix.com)

That’s a reverse angle and that’s literally all you see of Cohen as “Zeus”. Okay, I’m getting ahead of myself. This short film begins with GaGa on the ground, dirty, pierced by an arrow, and the track “Artpop” begins. You see as it turns out, this just isn’t a nice tight little video for “G.U.Y.” it’s a semi-promotional deluge of tracks from the album. To be fair, the only other track featured is “Venus”. It’s all a very weird set-up. As “Venus” plays, we see five of the seven housewives, clad in pink, and performing. I must say, Lisa Vanderpump (pink is her signature color) is impressive on the tambourine. She keeps the rhythm, and the sisters Richards play along on guitars, which made me think of some other guitar-playing sisters.

"Are they still alive?!?" (brianandjillshow.com)

“Are they still alive?!?” (brianandjillshow.com)

The Del Rubio Triplets!!! What ensues is a typical GaGa video. Many outfits, wigs, a dance routine, and another sequence with Kyle Richards, Vanderpump, and GIGGY assisting GaGa with some sort of chic bank robbery. Honestly, a lot of the imagery reminded me of the “Poker Face” clip. Which brings me to my point.

The album was released back in November, yet up until this weekend, the only video released has been “Applause”. There is said to be a clip of the album’s second and I think the best pop-friendly single “Do What U Want” that was directed by photographer Terry Richardson, but for legal reasons, it was never really clear, the video was never released. Why wait all those months to release another single and video? I was thinking when Artpop was released, GaGa would go full steam ahead, and I’m NOT counting that Muppets special. And now, a new tour is in the works, dates have been set, and I fear no one, except the faithful fans will show up. Don’t even get me started on this…

Lady-Gaga-600x450 celebuzzYes, I understand she is an artist doing the whole “art” thing, but honestly, this was sort of too much. WE GET IT! Millie Brown‘s esophagus, I’m worried. I just see another big side track in GaGa’s future. I know one positive I got out the new video. It reminded me I’m still a fan of her music. I need to pull Artpop back out I guess.

Oscar Prediction-palooza

assets.nydailynews.com

assets.nydailynews.com

Here we are again; ready to eat, drink, and tweet the Oscars. Oh, and I guess complain. Honestly, I have nothing to complain about with this year’s nominees. Of all the Best Picture nominees, I only saw three, but they are all vital contenders. For Best Picture? Eh, maybe American Hustle. In fact, the BP race is going to be a photo finish. I still think ‘Hustle’ has a really good chance. Insiders seem to think 12 Years a Slave still has enough momentum, and throw Gravity into the mix, since Alfonso Cuaron is pretty much guaranteed Best Director at this point. I didn’t see it, so I can’t form an honest opinion. However, it might be one of those years where Best Picture and Best Director won’t be the same. Don’t even get me started on Brokeback Mountain losing to Crash.

This also might be the first year in a long time where all of the acting wins are secured, except for Best Supporting Actress. I know she’s young, and this is her THIRD nomination, but I will be surprised if Jennifer Lawrence doesn’t win. Yep, possible back-to-back wins for our Kentucky gal. Her biggest competition is 12 Years a Slave nominee Lupita Nyong’o. Again, I did not see 12 Years a Slave, it seems like it was released a really long time ago, which is why I think its chances to win big have been diminished, including winning Best Picture.

The only other nominated Best Pictures I saw were Dallas Buyers Club and The Wolf of Wall Street, both good, yet, they won’t win BP, unless there is a big upset brewing somewhere. Both Matthew McConaughey and Jared Leto are locks for Actor and Supporting Actor. But could Leo sneak in there? Eh, maybe, but doubtful. I didn’t see Blue Jasmine, but all the predictors seems to think Cate Blanchett will win her second Oscar amidst all the controversy surrounding writer/director Woody Allen. What will say? More importantly, what will Ronan Farrow and Mia Farrow say? By the way…

New blue eyes?

New blue eyes?

Tell me that’s NOT Frank Sinatra’s son, because it certainly ain’t Woody’s.

Happy Oscars everyone!

 

A Bone To Pick With Comedy Central’s @midnight

First of all, I absolutely love Comedy Central’s newest game show @midnight. I like Chris Hardwick, who is lot funnier than I remember. And the show is great exposure for some of the country’s most underrated comedians. Wait, I think at least two non-US comedians have been featured on the show*.

I mean where else are you going to see scary shit like this.

Facebook

Facebook

Okay, so what is it I have a problem with? It’s simple, none of my #HashtagWars tweets have been retweeted! And while many that have been retweeted are generally funny and creative, I know I came up with at least one entry this week that someone else tweeted word for word and…it was retweeted?!? Wednesday night’s (1/15) hashtag war was #CelebrityCrimes. Here’s the first one I came up with.

Well, here’s the exact same tweet and,

To be fair, I’m sure a slew of folks come up with the same ones, yet, this one was given “POINTS” after I submitted mine. I’m proud of this one too.

Am I being too obsessive about this? Of course. I jokingly compare my aim to be retweeted on @midnight to the late Roger Ebert’s longtime campaign to be selected for The New Yorker‘s cartoon caption contest. After 280 submissions, Ebert finally won the contest 2011. Did he quit after he succeeded? Hell no.

Thus, I will keep submitting my #HashtagWars and honestly, it’s fun to see what everyone comes up with. My quick wit will pay off…one day.