Obamacare has saturated the 24-hour news cycle for most of the week; seriously, we get it, the website sucks, no one trusts the President or the government, move on! You may have caught the story of the crack-smoking Toronto mayor, more like over-sized crack baby, in between the healthcare yammering. Honestly, I don’t see how this guy didn’t pop up on our radars sooner. He’s a walking dump truck of ridiculous character. Thus, a cheaply made TV movie about the salt lick of the week is almost certainly in the works.
And although the internet has lamented how if Chris Farley were alive, he would have made a perfect Ford, this all got me thinking of just who could take on the “drunken stupor” challenge.
Phillip Seymour Hoffman, obviously.
This choice is pretty much right on the button. And bonus! Hoffman has had substance abuse issues in the past. I smell an Oscar, well, it would probably be an Emmy or a Golden Globe. Hell, even if a “Funny or Die” parody is made, Hoffman is your man.
David Burke
Yes, I know he’s a chef, but look at him! He’s jowly, full of pep, and I’m sure when he’s in a drunken stupor, it would be cinematic gold.
Rainn Wilson
Honestly, who plays crazy and irrational better than Dwight Schrute Rainn Wilson? He would need to put on a little beer weight, but wow, he would knock it out of the park. He looks pretty sane without glasses.
Val Kilmer
Hey Iceman! Put a suit on and you’re in! Needless to say, Kilmer has shied away from the limelight, but this role + his unfortunate weight gain? Comeback baby!
Melissa McCarthy (Wild Card)
Why not? She’s red hot and she is a master at comedy and character work. Okay, I take it back, McCarthy is your parody choice. I am going to bank on it. Especially if and when she’s asked to host SNL again.
So? Choose wisely.
Unfiltered Pop 