Take two!…I was blogging and I decided to insert a video of Carrie Underwood’s horrible performance of “Cowboy Casanova” and POOF!…I erased all of my post!…I’m very angry right now!…thus, I am going with a new plan…hit the highlights!…and yes, we’ll get to Adam Lambert, Lady GaGa, Whitney Houston, Rhianna, and Janet Jackson…in fact, we’ll start with Janet…the ABC promos included this line “8 minutes of Janet Jackson to open the show”…she clocked in at a little over 7…Jackson performed a medley of her biggest hits, slipping in her new single, “Make Me”…there was a lot of old school choreography, which was a thrill…I used to know the “I Miss You Much” routine…LOL!…Paula Abdul presented the first award, Best Pop/Rock Group, to the Black Eyed Peas, other awards in first hour: Best Country Band/Duo/Group-Rascal Flatts, Best Pop/Rock Female-Taylor Swift (absent from the ceremony and she constantly had the “I’m so shocked to win this award” look on her face), Alternative Rock Artist-Green Day… best performance of the hour?…Shakira! Ferosh!
The second hour began with Nicole Kidman and Kate Hudson-who lost her boobs in her dress-introducing their NINE co-star Fergie and the Black Eyed Peas…great performance!…although I was a bit scared when the speakers started dancing during “Boom Boom Pow”…yikes!…also, at the end of the performance, Will.I.Am proclaimed, “Six months No. 1, the new kings!”…?????…all righty then….Michael Jackson, posthumously, won 4 awards, all accepted by brother Jermaine…at one point, Jermaine and sons, Jerfar, Jermajesty, and Jeremy helped accept…get that?…Jackson won two awards that were televised…Best Soul/R&B Male and Best Pop/Rock Male…American Idol winner, Kris Allen was only there to present an award with tweener Demi Lovato…so sad…Rhianna’s performance was freaky and underwhelming…I swear, her outfit was left over from either Lady GaGa or the “Disturbia” video shoot…I guess when Chris Brown beat her abused her, he took the talent out of her too!…okay, since Carrie Underwood destroyed my original post, I will NOT be posting her train wreck of a performance of “Cowboy Casanova”…she was not meant to dance, I’ll just leave it at that…well, all mediocrity was erased by Lady GaGa:
TAKE THAT DICK CLARK!…right after GaGa, her husband, Perez Hilton, did a quick backstage filler…including the joke, “I ran into Derek Hough (DWTS) in the men’s room” (wink!)…oh that Perez!…Mary J. Blige killed it of course…then the biggest shock of the night, besides Adam Lambert, came when the winner of the T-Mobile Breakthrough Artist was announced…GaGa was up for it, but country upstart group, Gloriana won?!?…yes, I know Gloriana, I work at a country station, but WTF?…they started their speech by saying “I’m guessing you are wondering who Gloriana is?”…the one person I saw the camera flash to in the audience? Jai Rodriguez…LMAO!… next, the Jennifer Lopez performance of “Louboutins”…and yes, she fell on her ass…I won’t bore you with it, because it wasn’t much and really, she’s not much either…moving on…
Hour three started with Samuel L. Jackson presenting the International Artist of the Year award to, ahem, Whitney Houston…who then attempted to sing “Didn’t Know My Own Strength”…folks, she’s still sweaty and her vocal register is much lower than it used to be…I just don’t know…yes, you can blame drugs, but is seems her confidence is not what it used to be either…so sad…Alicia Keys got to perform solo, after her duet with Jay-Z earlier in the evening (“Empire State of Mind”)…and I didn’t like the solo song or performance…she’s another one who is not a fan of the dance…sitting at a piano?…yes…I had seen Seth Green in the audience several times and I wondered why?…he introduced Eminem and 50 Cent…Em didn’t win anything, but I’m sure he doesn’t care..he has an Oscar for God’s sake!…another underwhelming performance? Timbaland with Nelly Furtado and Say So (a new female protege)…it paid a slight tribute to Michael Jackson’s “Thriller”…V star, Morena Baccarin and FlashForward star, Dominic Monaghan introduced Green Day…I like “21 Guns”…however, when you look at the landscape of pop music today, Green Day sort of looks out of place, not to mention Kings of Leon, who were nominated for multiple awards, including Artist of the Year…well, after Jay-Z took the Rap/Hip-Hop Male award…Ryan Seacrest presented the Artist of the Year award to Taylor Swift in London…again, I’m sick of her “shocked” face!…well, Taylor should have reserved her shocked expression for what happened next, Adam Lambert!…Rolling Stone did a follow up story on Lambert’s crazy, sex-fueled performance of “For Your Entertainment”…apparently, ABC pulled the simulated oral sex move with the guy, you know, Glambert shoved the guy’s face into his crotch?…from the West coast broadcast…but they didn’t remove the moment when Lambert grabbed his “straight” keyboard player for a deep throat session…here’s one quote from Lambert from the Rolling Stone blurb:
“Adrenaline is crazy and sometimes things just happen,” said Lambert after the show. “We had this great dance number totally staged. It’s a sexy song about seduction and power and I was just doing the lyrics justice. My intention was not to try and create a controversy. But if a controversy ensues, then so be it.”
I think we will end on that note….oh yeah, buy Adam Lambert’s For Your Entertainment and Lady GaGa’s The Fame Monster today or sometime this week!…I’ll be buying my copies Tuesday!…I’m pumped!