Burlesque?…Oh Boy! (Not All Bad)

I’m really surprised I actually ended up going to see Burlesque.  It’s not really the type of movie that goes over well in my household, which consists of me and my parents.  However, I declared in a tweet last Sunday night I wanted to see Burlesque but I would probably end up going alone.  I know, whaa-whaa! Woe is me!  And honestly, I would’ve gone by myself to see it; if I’m hell-bent to see something I’ll go alone.  Nonetheless, I found someone who would go and I ended up seeing a few other friends there, so this was good times! 
The plot is very simple, Christina Aguilera plays Ali, a girl in Iowa who gets fed up with her dead end job and she decides singing and dancing in LA is where it’s at.  We see several montages, the first one being where Ali is going through ads in the paper for “singers/dancer/etc”, then all of a sudden she sees the Burlesque Lounge as if it’s an oasis in the desert.  She’s instantly taken with the show, who wouldn’t?  Alan Cumming appears as the doorman and I’m mad he didn’t get more screen time.  She encounters a bartender, Jack, played by one of the bazillion Twilight darlings, Cam Gigandet.  The other main star is someone you may have heard of, CHER! who plays the Burlesque Lounge’s nervous, yet talented owner, Tess.  Ali tries to ask for a job and Tess naturally shoots her down and she tells her to come back and audition another time.  Stanley Tucci did a better job as a gay design assistant in The Devil Wears Prada, but he’s mildly enjoyable as Tess’ gay show/seamstress/assistant Sean in Burlesque.  Other minor characters, Kristen Bell as the “always late for the show/alcoholic” Nikki, Eric “McSteamy” Dane as Marcus, who wants to buy the club and Tess always says no, even though her establishment, wait for it…is in financial trouble.  Eventually, Ali proves herself to Tess, as someone to replace trainwreck Nikki, however, the Burlesque performers only dance, they don’t sing until a jealous Nikki pulls the plug on one of Ali’s performances, she doesn’t know what to do, but what else? Sing!  Tess realizes Ali is great and she decides to re-design the entire show around Ali’s powerhouse voice.  So after many montages of Ali’s rise to the top, Jack seduces her even though he has a fiancee’ played by Glee’s Diana Agron, Ali comes up with a scheme so Tess can keep her club.  AIR RATES!  I had never heard of people owning air above buildings until this evening.  Thus, everyone is happy at the end and so ends the torture of Burlesque.  But let me indulge in a little Cher…here’s her solo from the movie, “You Haven’t Seen The Last of Me” written by Grammy winner Diane Warren…best part of the film!
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