Project Runway Season 9, Episode 3 (These Will Never Be Live!)

Tonight, a stilt walker fashion show…when you run out of ideas, why not?…and I drank one of the most disgusting beers ever tonight…bottom line, beer should never taste and smell fruity…ugh!…onto the show….
>Note: I guess Models of the Runway won’t be back…I never watched it, so no harm done.
>Fallene is still reeling from “Miss Pumpkin” last week…yeah, Heidi on the stilts, this is really ridiculous, God bless her…challenge, stilt walker fashion show…teams of two and lots of long pant sewing…
>Bert and Viktor are paired up, it won’t be good…Anthony Ryan/Laura Kathleen, Josh M/Julie, Danielle/Cecilia, Anya/Olivier, Kimberly/Becky (uh oh!), Bryce/Fallene…they both were in the bottom last week…First time ever the fashion show/runway will be outside in front of a live audience and press corps…
>Tim Gunn…”..challenge is completely thrilling!” Say what?…designers have one day and will finally be using real fabric from Mood…designs must not go below where walkers’ feet are attached to stilts…Bert is very defensive, and very know-it-all about his fashion history knowledge…how do dresses and skirts work with stilts?…
>I predict Bert/Viktor, Danielle/Cecilia, and maybe Josh M./Julie will be in the bottom…I think Viktor and Bert may scratch each other’s eyes out before it’s over…
(At least they aren’t circus freaks.)
>The Bert/Viktor drama continues…ah, the dreaded word, “strategy”…designs must be chic yet safe…Anthony Ryan/LK–long hoop skirt, hmmm?…Julie is wacky!…Becky stares a lot, Kimberly criticized her last week, and now they are paired together…
>Fallene’s color choices are really bad…Bryce is taking over their design…Josh M. always dresses like a Scissor Sister…Fallene may not actually be a designer, she is self-taught…
>Gunn!…Julie/Josh M…matador!…oh boy, yep, they will probably be in the bottom…Viktor/Bert’s is very gaudy…they are not a team…”shoulder pads are on trend for fall”????…okay…Becky/Kimberly, more gaudiness…Bryce/Fallene will be in the bottom, bad design, she can’t put a bodice together…Cecilia is ripping fabric out of Danielle’s hands…they will be in the bottom…maybe…
>Models are back for fitting, there are some hot messes!…I guess with all the focus on Fallene, she’s probably out, we’ll see…designers are up really early for the outdoor show…Bryce throws together a tube top instead of a bodice…
(Tonight’s guest judge…her ass is real, yet she doesn’t poop.)
>Anya/Olivier are in trouble too, hot mess of fabrics…Fallene decides to make a headpiece, since she didn’t make anything else…showtime!
>Tim is trying to reassure Fallene she did contribute something…is Nina Garcia “lovely”?..nah!…Josh M./Julie-ridiculous!, Bert/Viktor–uh, no…Bryce/Fallene–Black Swan gone bad…Kimberly/Becky–their model is wearing “borrowed stilts”, it looks bad…Anya/Olivier–bad fabrics…Cecilia/Danielle–crazy hair!, design not bad…Anthony/LK–this is going to win, very red…this is freaky-looking, but different…
>Olivier has immunity…he and Anya are safe…the bottom are as I predicted, except for Danielle and Cecilia…Anthony wants LK to take credit for design, weird transition…D/C had chiffon, the judges hate the hair…I hate Becky/Kimberly’s, but it’s edgy enough to win over the panel…
>Low-scorers are up…Viktor/Bert–this explanation ought to be good…curtain dress, “bad costume”…the blame game, Viktor is taking responsibility, Heidi–“Bert, you are slowly turning lobster color.”…what?…Fallene/Bryce–idea was there, not executed…Michael likes Fallene’s headpiece, Julie/Josh M.–concept is terrible, tacky…Julie won’t throw Josh under the bus, Bryce thinks he and Fallene should both go, but he wants to stay if it’s just one of them going…
>Go Big Red!…Laura Kathleen wins the challenge!…I say make the loser of this challenge walk on those stilts…well, it’s either going to be Bryce or Fallene…or Viktor…
>Auf’ed–Fallene, not a surprise…
>NEXT WEEK: They are designing for Nina, oh not cool…GASP!

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