There are really too many questions to ask about Linda Gail’s “3 Second Rule” song and video. Does Linda Hogan have a tone-deaf twin sister? And is she named Linda too? Is this video a joke? Did the crew break in and shoot this at a preserved old school? Has Linda Gail ever heard of “mom jeans”? I could on for days, but then my head would explode.
Like the bad post-menopausal yeast infection she would get from those rose-colored jeans, “3 Second Rule” is just starting to go viral. Someone’s poor Granny decided it would be a great idea to not only record a terrible song, but make an equally terrible/craptastic video to go along with it. She makes Rebecca Black sound like Adele! I did some investigating and all I can determine is, Ms/Mrs./Miss Gail hired this Dallas wedding video company to produce her magnum opus. I mean this creepy image:
Forgive the small (tee-hee!) image. Everyone knows a school like the one in the video, most of them are probably historical landmarks, NOT THIS ONE, at least not now. I’m trying to imagine what a typical day for Linda would be…
Wake up 6am, pee, use some extra strength Monistat, run a hot bath-with bubbles-prep the spray tan booth, luxirate in the well-deserved bubble bath, shave legs, take a hot shower-that bacteria must be eliminated-make coffee, drink 2 cups, call a random friend or relative, pick out clothes, especially the tighest jeans she owns, back to the bathroom for a number 2 (the coffee!), get dressed, don’t forget the turquoise jewelry!, back to the bathroom for a hour-long eyeliner session, and other various clown make-up applications, find some “kickin” boots, call the salon to make daily color appointment, let the dog out, drink more coffee, check face for another 30 minutes…finally leaves for the salon, she tells her friends she’s the next Britt Ekland, drops by the studio for a quick tracking session..by the way, the opening credits say the song is produced by “Desi”. Excuse me, but Desi??? Babaloo will not rest as comfortably tonight. Linda probably never misses an episode of Long Island Medium and she can’t wait for the revamped DALLAS. She may or may not have auditioned for the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders. We hope NOT!
We all have hopes and dreams of becoming famous, why do you think I’m writing this blog? But I digress. Linda Gail’s dream is now a reality, and her infamy is TBD. YOU GO GRANNY! Oh and nice hand writing.