Nutella Isn’t Healthy? You Are Shitting Me!

(DROOLING!)

True confession time! If I could bathe in any substance other than water or bubbles, fill that extra large clawfoot tub up with Nutella son! It’s so good, all the expletives in the world cannot describe how bloody good it is. Screw peanut butter and jelly and butter and I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter, Nutella is where it’s at! However, today, I learned a woman from San Diego sued the company because Nutella falsely claimed it was a healthy alternative to spread on toast for her 4-year-old daughter. Not only did she score $3 million big ones, $2.5 million of that will be distributed to you, me, anyone! as part of a class action suit so we can have a slather of that delicious hazelnut chocolatey goodness in the form of 4 whole dollars! Huh? Hell, I can go buy about 4 of these for 4 bucks:

Best snack...ever!

I’m having a love affair with Nutella-And-Go! and no class action suit, $3 million bucks, or human being will stop that. I just can’t believe people are falling for the whole “it’s healthy” thing, HELLO! it’s chocolate! When has chocolate ever been healthy? If a product can help a kid eat his breakfast, it’s fab on toast, then so be it. It’s Satan’s peanut butter! Suck it for God’s sake, breakfast is the most important meal of the day, why be a Debbie Downer because Nutella has as many calories as a candy bar?

Don’t be afraid, keep eating Nutella, I will! And I will request an IV of it when my time comes.

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