A Recap Of This Week’s Significant Occurrences

I realize I haven’t written anything since Monday or Tuesday, so I thought I would offer up a rare recap blog of a week that was kind of crazy. And I’ll do my best to put it all in chronological order.

Sadly, the week started with the passing of a very important woman to the world of writing and directing…Nora Ephron.

All smiles! (TechCrunch/Flickr via Getty Images)

Ephron started out as a screenwriter and she would go on to direct and write or co-write eight major motion pictures, including Sleepless in Seattle, You’ve Got Mail, This Is My Life, and Julie & Julia. She wrote the screenplay for When Harry Met Sally… and one of my favorites, My Blue Heaven. Confession, I hate You’ve Got Mail, and I don’t feel guilty about it. I really like Ephron’s directing debut, This Is My Life, about a single mom, played by Julie Kavner, who goes into stand-up comedy and her daughters help out with jokes. Ephron’s wit and reputation will be greatly missed not only in Hollywood, but all over the world.

Next up, the Supreme Court upheld the health care aka “Obamacare” mandate, however


I try not to get into these political cat-fights, but this SCOTUS ruling will either help or greatly hurt Obama’s re-election chances in November. And with the oft chance Obama does not get re-elected, the mandate/tax is not scheduled to go into effect until 2014, it will be repealed immediately. Personally, I’m torn on this issue, because for over five years, I have been without health insurance, but on the other hand, I don’t want to see another tax taken out of my paycheck. The fight will continue to be fierce, so it all depends on what happens in November, moving on…


Yeah, six UK players, a record for one school, were drafted into the NBA on Wednesday night, with Anthony Davis, who trademarked his eyebrow this week, going 1st and teammate Michael Kidd-Gilchrist being drafted 2nd. Darius Miller, the last Cat to be drafted in the 2nd round, will join Davis in New Orleans. The Charlotte Bobcats, owned by Michael Jordan, will need MKG as they were actually the worst team this season, but New Orleans got the first pick. Total domination for the Cats next NBA season.

Then two items were making the net blow up on Friday….

What? (newsday.com/AP)

Katie Holmes blindsided Tom Cruise with plans to divorce, and, according to TMZ, Holmes is seeking sole custody of the couple’s daughter Suri. Frankly, I’m not surprised and of course all the conspiracy theories were out there. Katie saw Rock of Ages and that was it!, Cruise may or may not be gay, She was freed from the grasp of Scientology. The actress stands to gain mega bucks in the divorce settlement and hopefully, her career will be resurrected as it came to a dead stand still after she became the third Mrs. Cruise. In happier news…


Adele revealed via her website, she is preggers with her first child!!! Oh and the Rolling in the (blank) jokes that peppered the web. I saw rolling in the diapers, rolling in the strollers, rolling in the breast pumps, etc. This is good news, because the singer deserves a nice long break.

And finally for shits and giggles, a segment featuring the hilarious Billy Eichner aired this week on CONAN. Watch as Eichner marvels at Madonna’s opening show in Tel Aviv, Israel.

Some Alternate Titles For Flo Rida’s “Whistle”

I think I’ve written several times I work part-time in radio. So I’m used to hearing all kinds of music and listening for what the competition is up to. Though I don’t work at a pop or CHR station (Contemporary Hit Radio), I still generally like to listen to pop music. However, some of the songs out there right now are either really, really good or really, really suggestive. Here’s how radio has changed in the last decade. I interned at a pop station and I sat in with the midday DJ, one day a caller requested “Men in Black” by Will Smith and the DJ told the caller the song couldn’t be played until after 7pm. This was in the summer of 1999, yep, standards have evolved big time. If you turn on a morning show now, you will hear everything, rap, hip-hop, rock, dance, and this goes on all day. In honesty, it’s a good thing because one listener may like dance, but then the next listener may like a pop ballad or a rock or a country song that has broken the format barrier.

What’s not a good thing is just how nasty a song can get. This weekend, me and friend were driving around and we heard this song with the lines, “you can blow my whistle baby, whistle baby…” HUH!?! I read one article that said “Whistle” by Flo Rida is maybe the least subtle pop song ever made. Um, yes. Ironically, my friend, who travels around the country for work, said she encountered the Oscar Meyer Weinermobile one day and she was asked if she wanted a weenie whistle.

WEENIES! (Flickr/Pirate Alice)

Funny story, but back to Flo Rida. I think the reason it’s going to be a big hit is because it’s catchy and it has whistling in it, you know, the regular kind? I got to thinking of some other titles that might be a little less subtle.

-Skin Flute (eww!)

-Weiner (see above)

-Penis (a given)

-Johnson (not as enticing)

-Weenus (a little twist)

-Pecker (evil!)

-One-Eyed Snake (too long, pun!)

-Test Tube (Scientific!)

-Schlong (Too short, but at an -er on the end)

-Ding-A-Ling (Oops, too late!, the other song that wasn’t subtle)

-Cobra (For the Stallone and/or G.I. Joe fans)

See? The possibilities are endless. NASTY! Here, substitute one of these terms in place of whistle, have fun!


A Good Twitter Week For Me

Twitter is cool, let’s just start there. In a lot of ways, it’s much cooler than Facebook. Facebook has its moments of fan interaction, but Twitter is a much better way to get the attention of a celebrity, band, comedian, philanthropist, or maybe a friend. However, if you are trying to get in touch with a friend, I would suggest plain old Facebook OR an old-fashioned e-mail. I got a couple of interactions on Twitter this week that have undoubtedly thrill me to no end, or at least, next week.

Ironically, Facebook played a big part in the first interaction on Monday night. On Monday night’s episode of Watch What Happens Live! on Bravo, Andy Cohen‘s guests were one of the only Real Housewives of NYC left, Ramona Singer, and The Office supporting actress Kate Flannery AKA Meredith. Cohen usually posts prompts on both Facebook and Twitter asking users/fans for questions for his guests on the day of that night’s  show, or if it’s a big show coming up later in the week, he’ll put up the prompts a little early. Viewers can also call in, but it’s only a 30-minute show, but…it’s LIVE! I decided I would take a chance and post a question for Flannery on the WWHL’s Facebook page. Now this past Monday was the premiere of RuPaul’s Drag U oh and they replied to me too, so I watched it first, then RHONYC, then WWHL, so technically, I didn’t see the show live. Okay’s here’s the Drag U tweet.

The folks at LogoTV are good people! They do a lot of fan interaction. Okay, so back to Bravo. Hand to God, the second question Cohen asked was for Kate Flannery and it was MY QUESTION! I asked what it was like for Kate to film the scene where Michael (Steve Carell) hits her with his car in the hilarious “Fun Run” episode.

Flannery said she basically just had to roll on the window and she saved the pelvic cast she had to wear. AWESOME! So I tweeted my happiness and I got a reply.

Some love from Andy Cohen! Pretty cool. I still haven’t read his new book, I really need to get back to library and check out their ONE copy.

All right, I tweeted Ramona how funny it was when she almost spit out her Pinot Grigio when Andy asked what she thought of LuAnn wanting to have a baby. Plus, she was drinking her wine with a straw. Well, the Twitter love continued.

I just couldn’t believe Ramona tweeted me back! I’ve tweeted other Housewives, but she’s the first to reply. Shame on you NeNe and Kim! Now I realize a reply from a famous or a semi-famous person on Twitter may not seem like much, but for a pop culture nut like me, it’s pretty cool.


Thanks To Dance Moms, Helen Keller Is Hot Again

DISCLAIMER: If you are over-sensitive or if you take things too seriously, okay those mean the same thing, stop reading now! What I am writing about is meant to be humorous (maybe) and it is not intended to take away the many remarkable accomplishments of Helen Keller. As this video shows, Keller could communicate with great ease.

All right, here we go. As all of many of my readers know, I’m a huge (no pun intended) Dance Moms fan. Abby Lee Miller is a dream reality star and her creative decision for Maddie to portray Helen Keller in her solo? I have to confess, I almost spit a mouthful of apple juice out when the subject was proposed. Abby has had her controversial routines, Nia as “Laquifa”, “Where Have the Children Gone”, and last week’s zombie routine which sadly did not score well. Regular viewers will remember Maddie had a meltdown in last season’s finale and her confidence was shattered going into this season, well, Maddie is back doing solos and I think this one is good. I think the name Helen Keller just makes me laugh, we’ll get to that in a moment, here’s Maddie, video courtesy of Lifetime.

So did Maddie win her division? No spoilers, I’m not telling! But after last night’s episode, it got me thinking, “what is so damn funny about Helen Keller?” I think the concept of a deaf and blind person is what appeals to the comedians out there, again, I don’t think it’s intended to just railroad her as a person and her legacy. Then I remembered that little episode of South Park where the boys and their fellow fourth graders stage “Helen Keller ! The Musical” for Thanksgiving, unfortunately, I wasn’t able to find any clips, I’m very upset, but I’m sure this image will refresh your memory. Yes, Timmy as Helen.


And who could forget this viral video from YouTube of an actress as Keller in The Miracle Worker who was into her character so well…

Yet, her scene mates picked her right back up and they carried on as if nothing happened. Where was the Tony committee on that night?

Helen Keller rules!


The Killing, My Bandwagon Stops Here

Me watching the finale (blogs.amctv.com)

Ah, if I could only turn back time and my parents’ film projector didn’t break. That’s how I feel about The Killing and the conclusion of season 2. I know I probably already wrote about my frustrations (and everybody else’s) about the end of season 1, yet I decided to give AMC another chance. As painful and as time-consuming as it was, I HAD to know who killed Rosie Larsen.


I have to give it to AMC. They put up this “Suspect Tracker” in season 1 and it has stayed up through this season. Another clever device, it seemed every single episode laid the blame at one or more character’s feet. The whole “everyone’s a suspect” idea if you will. After every episode, you were hell-bent on putting the blame on Mayor Adams or Gwen or Rosie’s teacher (I thought that one had legs) or even, Linden’s partner Holder?!? I was convince he had something to do with the murder midway through season 1 and then he hid the backpack this season, what’s up with that? Holder turned out to be the glue that held tracking the suspect together; Linden was relentless and she finally deduced Rosie’s Aunt Terry, who was living with the family the whole time, put the campaign car in drive with Rosie still alive in the trunk, thus Terry killed her own niece. But wait! Creator Veena Sud didn’t let us off that easy. Richmond’s right hand campaign man Jamie brutally beat Rosie when he thought she heard all about his dirty plan to guarantee Richmond would win the election. Twenty minutes into the episode, I thought game-set-match, yawn.

I was only impressed by one scene in the finale. Linden leaves Rosie’s final film at the Larsens’ new house, they turn it on, and my eyes almost started to leak. We are all reminded Rosie was just a girl on the verge of starting her life and seeing the world. I think it’s the perfect end to the series, because seriously, what happens next?

We’ll see in 2013.

A Video Tete A Tete, Vis A Vis, That Kind Of Thing

I was chatting with an old flame, er, good friend tonight and we got into this “one uppping” competition that came out of nowhere. Actually, I’m to blame, but I still don’t know exactly how. It started with a comment I made as I was listening to one of my Pandora stations. I told my friend that on one of my stations, Rihanna’s “Umbrella” always pops up, and I like “Umbrella” but it can be a little annoying after a while. I tend to skip a lot, and when I reach my skip limit, I get mad. Those are the pitfalls of not having a full subscription. Anyway, I skipped Rihanna and Cascada’s “Everytime We Touch” came on. I mentioned it, she made a comment comparable to “really?” and then I noticed in her next message was a YouTube link. This is what popped up:

What? Okay, a brief primer on t.A.T.u. The Russian pop/dance duo comprised of Lena Katina and Yulia Volkova started out as an independent act, then they got a deal with Interscope Records in 2001, and in 2003, their first English single, “All The Things She Said”, produced by The Buggles’ front man Trevor Horn, was released accompanied by that cryptic video. But the lesbian schoolgirl uniform image was all a sham, and soon t.A.T.u. was quickly pushed off the radar screen in America. However, their fake image was so popular, MTV bought into it and they booked the girls for what I still consider to be the BEST lip-synching/half-assed singing spectacle in the history of the MTV Movie Awards. So my one up was this:

Yes, I like that very much. Another quick story, the first time me and my friends went down to Nashville Pride in 2003, when we were killing time, I bought the t.A.T.u. CD and we listened to “Not Gonna Get Us” over and over. My friend was a little slow on her next one up, so I scoured YouTube for some more t.A.T.u. clips and I found this gem. Okay, it’s the same song, but it’s now 2009 and the girls are part of the Eurovision semi-finals interlude.

Um, what happened to the redhead? Did she not hear the Spice Girls broke-up? The other one obviously stayed in shape. The Russian Army Choir is a nice touch, since the girls were basically still lip-synching. Well my friend finally found her next entry:

Ah, The Murmurs “La Di Da” interlaced with video from a show I miss dearly, The L Word. Geez, how gay is this tete a tete going to get? Soon after this exchange, I had to shut down my laptop, but when I got home, I found another one-up from my friend, yeah, she skipped my turn!

Marilyn Manson’s cover of “Tainted Love” (I secretly abhor this song!) from the Not Another Teen Movie soundtrack. I think me and my friend are in desperate need of some special attention.

Now if I can just find my t.A.T.u. CD! And get to another Pride before I’m too old!

Fifty Shades Of No Way In Hell (NSFW!)

Before you ask, I need to point out I have no intention of EVER reading E.L. James’ trilogy about certain sexual fantasies that up until now I guess were never published. Yeah, right. I’ve only read two memorable erotic stories in my life. Try not to pass out when I go there. And yes, they are both gay. Hey, I write what I know.


Annie Proulx’s 1999 short story collection includes Brokeback Mountain, which originally appeared in The New Yorker in 1997. Although the story itself is just a shade over 60 pages long, it covers the entire plot you see in the 2005 Oscar-winning film adaptation and it hashes out a few more sexual details than what is seen on-screen. We’re talking graphic and erotic. I don’t think it’s fair the word “erotic” is almost always associated with fiction geared towards women. Men get it on too and I bet a few have read the Fifty Shades trilogy.

The reason I got to blogging this time, now that the trilogy has become so popular, a line of lingerie, make-up (What?), stationery, bedding (kinky!), home furnishings (better throw some rope in), and so on and so forth will be hitting store shelves soon. Don’t get too turned on, this is only happening in England, where the author is from, for now. However, sales of rope and other bondage items have spiked thanks to the panty fire storm continuing to spread across the country. And just in case you were wondering, you need to buy the 12-gauge non-braided nylon rope, no thanks! I just can’t believe bondage is something a few women (maybe men) are just now learning about. It takes a kinky village…

All right, my second most erotic reading experience….

I call bias! on myself. (goodreads.com)

Oh, there are thousands of lesbian erotic novels and poetry out there, believe me I know, but Sarah Waters’ historical debut novel Tipping the Velvet which is a slang term for, um, yeah that, is making me a little antsy to write about at the moment. I can’t tell if I’m blushing, I’m typing. It’s more of a glance at lesbianism in Victorian England in the 1890’s  than it is a sordid, erotic tale. Gotcha, I’m totally lying. It’s historic and it’s extremely hot in many chapters. It examines cross-dressing, the butch factor, and, ahem! artificial appendages. Screw the rope ladies, THAT is kinky!

I try my best not to judge my friends who are reading Fifty Shades of Grey, Fifty Shades Darker, and Fifty Shades Freed, my sister read them too. And I’ll have to grit my teeth even more when all of these naughty stories are made into movies. I have to face the fact that a hot book series, sexy or not, will be shoved in my face (EWWW!) whether I like it or not.

Bath salts, take me away…


Bath Salts, Dingoes, And Charlize Theron, Oh My!

Confession time! I have an extremely obsessive personality. It’s not so much that a current buzz word like “bath salts” or “face-eating” makes me go nuts, I want to know more, which I think is natural.


Up until yesterday, I had no idea what these bath salt drugs looked like. The image above is just one example. These drugs are marketing with druggy names like, “Ivory Wave”, “Vanilla Sky” (EEEK!), “Bliss”, and many, many more. I think “Kamikaze Krack” or “Flesh” may have been more appropriate. Indiana is the first state I’ve read about that is starting to bust bath salt vendors. And of course, gas stations are the main offenders. Pretty soon, all those shiny, glossy-looking energy drinks will be banned. I’ve never tasted one and I don’t plan to. This is as wild as I get.

Juggalo Juice bitches! (mi-madeproducts.com)

I’ve also read, bath salts can also be referred to as “bath powder”, now that makes more sense. As for Ronald Poppo, victim of the Miami face eating, he’s doing well and he’s a Heat fan! Duh! I wonder what epsom salts taste like? Hoard them now!

As it turns out, a dingo did kill Lindy Chamberlain’s (now Chamberlain-Creighton) baby daughter Azaria in 1980. The Australian incident was famously dramatized in the 1988 film, A Cry in the Dark for which Meryl Streep received her seventh Oscar nomination as Chamberlain. Yes, “a dingo took my baby” or “a dingo ate my baby” became catchphrases soon after.

“Say what now?”

Though Chamberlain was sentenced to life in prison for her daughter’s murder, in 1988, all charges were dropped and she was compensated for wrongful imprisonment. It’s odd after all these years, the most obvious conclusion was finally recognized. I say a documentary is in the works, please! Because I LOVE documentaries and if they can get Streep to throw in her two cents, that would make it even better. A dingo took my…never mind.


Okay, so why am I lumping in Charlize Theron with this stream of consciousness? She’s a hot commodity right now! She’s in Snow White and the Huntsman (it’s good!) and Prometheus (I haven’t seen it yet, but it’s getting mixed reviews), so she’s making the press junket rounds. Plus, last night I watched Young Adult, which was dark, but it came off as more sad/funny. Theron plays Mavis Gary, who ghost writes a series of “young adult” books called Waverly Prep and after seeing a photo of her old high school boyfriend’s new baby in an email, she decides to make a trip home in an effort to try and win him back. Theron is great of course, but the other bright spot is comedian Patton Oswalt as another classmate, Matt Freehauf, who was beaten so badly in high school, he has to use a crutch for the rest of his life. It’s got a lot of 90’s nostalgia references and music, and it’s written by Diablo Cody, how can you lose?


I’m Puzzled By The Secret Life Of The American Teenager “Gay” Story Line

Welcome to post #400, and it only took me over three years to get here. The original name of my blog was “Gay Man Trapped In A Lesbian’s Body” (By the way, all of the posts under the old title are now here) and there is no truer statement to describe me. Now I won’t go as far as Kathy Griffin and call myself a gay man, but I have my moments. 

Is this a Schemmy in the making? (djnaquin76/Flickr)

All right, back the point. It was recently brought to my attention that there was/is a “gay” story line on the ABC Family series The Secret Life of the American Teenager, and I totally searched my OnDemand for proof. I heard Molly Ringwald, who stars as the main character’s mother, that main character being Amy Jurgens played by Shailene Woodley, was going to come out of the closet. No harm no foul, however, this channel, which also airs the hit show Pretty Little Liars, and it features a main character who is a lesbian, after all of the primetime programming is over, the 700 Club airs: contractually, it has to air three times a day. Excuse me? Yes, the channel where the Rev. Pat Robertson has spewed some very questionable comments toward the gay community airs at least two shows with gay characters. Don’t tell me I’m the only one who  made the connection. And the main plot line in Secret Life is Amy Jurgens becomes pregnant while in high school and she has to find a way to juggle everything. This season that just ended, Amy and the father of her son, decide to elope instead of getting married on the 4th of July which according to the show is “gay holiday”. We’ll get back to that in a moment. 

“Molly? You in danger girl!” (abcfamily.go.com)

I just want to start out by saying, this is one of the dumbest shows I’ve ever seen. The demographic for the network, which is now in its fifth incarnation, is teenage girls and young women, ages 15-30. I’m sorry, but isn’t that gap a tad too narrow? But when I think about, I think the demo is perfect for this particular show. I watched the episode before last night’s season 4 finale and I noticed the word “gay” was said…A LOT! And it doesn’t offend me, but does it really take that many times for the writers to get their point across? So I conducted an experiment with last night’s season 4 finale, I would count how many times the word “gay” was said. Any guesses? It’s an hour-long show. 

Yep! (brighterorange/Flickr)

85 times! And that doesn’t include references to LGBTQ, lesbians, or once, bisexual was mentioned. Here’s just one example of a ridiculous (and somewhat insulting) tete a tete.

And when Grace decides to experiment with her sexuality in “other ways”, ahem!, she decided to dress like this (I couldn’t find an image from the episode)


How stupid do the writers and producers think we are? I felt really dumb after watching this, but…I love Molly Ringwald and I think I may keep watching to see if the writers retract and take her back to straight land. Season 5 starts Monday!!!

Who’s Ready For Some Summer TV? This Girl Is!

I preface this post by saying, my head may explode after Tuesday night. Why? There are a plethora of brand new seasons of some of my favorite shows returning this week. Let’s get right to it!

MONDAYS: Season 5 of The Real Housewives of New York City begins!

Um, aren’t there a few missing? (nydailynews.com)

Yes, Jill Zarin, Alex McCord, Kelly Killoren-Bensimon, and last season addition Cindy Barshop are GONE! Frankly, I think letting Jill go was a mistake; her fights with Ramona Singer are legendary. Fans were probably skeptical when Bethenny Frankel left after season 3, but season 4 was very ridiculous and entertaining. Of course, the show continues for the Countess LuAnn de Lesseps, Ramona, and Sonja Morgan, who joined the cast in season 3. And when wives are let go, new ones must be found. In this season’s case, former designer Heather Thomson, author Carole Radziwill, and amputee (seriously!) Aviva Drescher have been brought in. I think my skepticism about the new “wives” is very high. But Aviva’s fake leg? I’m intrigued! (Bravo, Monday nights, 9E/8C)

TUESDAYS: Dance Moms, Rizzoli & Isles, and The Glee Project


Well obviously, we need to first address a new season of Dance Moms (the original). When we last left Abby Lee Miller and company, Maddie lost her mental focus and she screwed up royally and Abby literally left the girls and Moms at the competition after Cathy’s Candy Apples BEAT Abby’s Junior dancers by one point. One positive, Chloe ended up receiving a scholarship from the Joffrey Ballet in New York, and she beat one of Abby’s defectors, Kendall. And we all remember Kendall and her Mom Jill from last season! Cheap cowboy hat ring a bell? I gave Dance Moms: Miami a chance, but it didn’t take, Abby is where it’s at and I can hardly wait! (Lifetime, Tuesday nights, 9E/8C)

Love them! (tntdrama.com)

Tuesday marks the return and third season of Rizzoli & Isles. I’ve only recently started watching Jane (Angie Harmon) and Maura (Sasha Alexander); I caught the tail end of season 1 and I watched all of last season. It’s a great show and it’s nice to see an all-female team fight crime again. Harmon and Alexander have a great chemistry, which has created a whole lot of “are they or aren’t they?” subtext for lesbian fans of the show. It’s hilarious how obvious it is sometimes. (TNT, Tuesday nights, 9E/8C)


Last, but not least, The Glee Project is back for a second season. As you recall, Damian McGinty and Samuel Larsen were co-winners of season 1 and McGinty easily got more camera time, even though he was just another kid in the choir room in the last couple of episodes. Lindsay Pierce and Alex Newell also got to appear on the show, Newell in a prominent role as “Unique” star singer of New Directions’ biggest rival, Vocal Adrenaline. 14 fresh faces, including a blind boy and a girl in a wheelchair, will vie for a coveted role on the FOX hit series. This season, in fact I think in the first episode, the contestants will wet their pants when Lea Michele/Rachel Berry serves as a guest mentor. And as usual, co-creator Ryan Murphy, choreographer and co-producer Zach Woodlee, and casting director Robert Ulrich will make the call on who makes it to safety each week. (Oxygen, Tuesday nights, 10E/9C)

And I guess I’ll be smacked in the face if I don’t mention season 5 of True Blood begins June 10th. New faces this year? Scott Foley plays an old Army buddy of Terry (Todd Lowe) and apparently Foley will shake things up. Christopher Meloni joins the cast as Roman, a member of the Vampire Authority. 

This ain’t OZ. (hbo.com)

And of course, Sookah, Beel, Eric, Lafayette, Jason, Jessica, Pam, Alcide, etc. will all be back, but will Tara (Rutina Wesley)? She sort of got shot and killed in last season’s finale; I have a feeling Alan Ball, who will step down as show runner, will go all Ryan Murphy on us and I bet he’s found a way to keep Tara on the show. And I believe Denis O’ Hare AKA Russell Edgington found his way out of the pavement. NO SPOILERS!   (HBO, Sunday nights, 9E/8C)