Dance Moms: Water Water Everywhere!



I usually have TV watching conflicts on Tuesday nights, however, last night’s State of the Union address knocked out a lot of primetime network programming and I was able to enjoy Dance Moms in all its glory. And this was one for the books. A promo showed Candy Apple Candy hitting Abby with her oversized purse and I could see lots of water being thrown at Cathy by both Abby and Jill. Plus, the promo promised a “90-minute” episode, and although all the mayhem didn’t unfold until the last 5-10 minutes, depending on you are, it was one hell of a show. Emphasis on the word “show”.

I’m sure fans of the Lifetime reality series are wondering why it took so long to show a semi-physical fight between the Moms. There are plenty of verbal dust-ups every week, but this one was different. Simply put, Abby was at her wit’s end with everybody and it set off a series of unfortunate events.

But let’s do a bit of a recap. After Abby yelled at Chloe last week for dropping her hat in the group number that won, Mom Christi promptly packed up and hauled out of the dressing room and she hauled out of venue with Chloe in tow yelling at the camera people the whole time. So this week’s pyramid showed Chloe at the bottom with the word “suspended” scrawled at the top of her picture. The Moms discuss whether any of them had spoken to Christi and even Kelly couldn’t get her to return texts or calls. With Chloe out of the picture, Abby decides to award Nia and Paige a duet with Maddie and Kendall both doing solos. I’m really over Kendall and her Mom Jill. I’ve never been a fan, because Jill has always tried to brown-nose her way into Abby’s heart, despite Abby calling out Kendall every friggin’ week for mistakes. Plus Jill is a notorious shit-stirrer, and I pray she gets rid of the blond look soon. UGH!

Also, now that Chloe is out of the picture, Abby decides to bring back internet sensation and “it” girl Sophia Lucia and her Mom Jackie. Sophia came in when Abby replaced all of her team few episodes ago and she’s a really good dancer; dare I say, a lot better than Maddie. But when the regulars all came crawling back, Sophia disappeared and she suddenly disappeared on this episode. We learn Nia is having a great deal of pain in one of her feet and wouldn’t you know, she does have an actual condition that has Holly doubting whether or not Nia will be able to compete in Detroit. Meanwhile in Ohio, Cathy decides to continue competing with her all-male team (cop out!) as she’s still determined to beat Abby. I miss Vivi-Anne, the human prop, however, Vivi has been pegged into a new role on the show, a sounding board for Cathy. Boring! I wonder what Vivi thinks about sequestration?

It’s competition day and Cathy decides if she can’t beat the ALDC on stage then why not beat them on transportation. She arrives with her dancers in a stretch, black limo truck and of course starts berating Abby before they even get in the door, and Abby’s mood is not good and she tells Cathy to go to hell. One of Cathy’s Dance Dads (?) then gets in Abby’s face and of course Abby points out none of Cathy’s dancers are from Ohio. Peck-peck-peck! The love fest carries over to the ALDC dressing room when Holly decides to give Abby a little piece of her mind (she calls her “evil”) which prompts Abby to immediately pull Nia and Paige’s duet. Yes, Abby made a snap decision based on Holly’s attitude. After all the competition is over, Maddie beats Cathy’s dream boy Gino and Cathy’s dancers, ahem, beat the ALDC’s group number. UH OH!

Now are you telling me the producers didn’t make Cathy go in the ALDC’s dressing room to gloat? I mean wouldn’t it have been a better moment if was out in front of all the fans? The fight starts with Abby “accidentally” throwing a little water at Cathy thinking the “witch would melt” so Cathy decides to rare back and barely wallop Abby with her purse. Whatever happened to slapping and hair-pulling? Lots of cursing ensues and then Jill, who brought Kendall to Candy Apples after Abby wasn’t impressed, unleashes an entire bottle of water at Cathy’s dry, brittle hair, to which Cathy responded, unsuccessfully, with another purse swing. Is it over? No. Abby then calls up her mother to relay the events and Melissa starts panicking, telling Abby about high blood pressure and she thinks she’s going to have a heart attack. GASP! So the episode ends with disbelief and Abby exiting the dressing proclaiming she’s had it.

What’s next? Christi returns and Abby doesn’t drop dead. Until then…


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