The Thing That Was ‘True Tori’

Men are bastards! Yes, I’m not heterosexual, but I’ve known enough women in my life who are and their men are either good as gold or as transparent as plastic wrap. It’s sad that for the sake of a TV show (and a paycheck), actress/author/Donna Martin portrayer Tori Spelling doesn’t get it. Dean cheated on her; he engaged in a “two-day affair” while he was in his native Canada shooting “Chopped: Canada” for the Food Network; every episode began with a reminder of McDermott’s dirty deed.

I’ve been a fan of Tori’s various reality shows. I was suspicious when “Tori & Dean: Home Sweet Hollywood” didn’t return. Maybe the family had enough money to do without the boob tube for a while. I think I read about Dean’s affair online. Never in a million years did I think Tori would actually go for it and she would document the beginnings of her family’s healing process. I would say the decision was made since the kids are still young. Liam is the oldest at 7 and their last child, Finn is 18 months. I definitely remember reading about Tori’s last pregnancy with Finn and the scary complications. And I thought well that’s why they aren’t doing a show anymore. In a way, the show was a good thing because it’s rare to see a family go through the process in such a raw way. In the first episode, Tori is schlepping the kids around and 2-year-old Hattie throws up which causes Tori to nearly wreck. Naturally since news of the affair broke, the paparazzi have followed Spelling non-stop, including popping shots of a mother trying to clean up after a sick kid. I just couldn’t understand why Spelling would insist, on camera, on not having extra help with the kids. Dean had to go to rehab for three months, so it’s believed Tori was on her own. Um, where was grandma Candy???? I guess she and Tori were not in agreement on this latest project.

What ensues is “intense” couples therapy with Dean coming off as a jackass and Tori coming off as the naive wife who, if you read up on the couple, Tori sort of broke up Dean’s first marriage. Bottom line, both parties cheated on their respective spouses because they fell in love and yada yada yada. So, Dean had technically cheated before. The kids, except for Liam, are in the dark as to why Daddy isn’t home. Oh and does Daddy want to come home! I bet Tori let him just to take of the slack of tending to their children. I love how almost every one of their friends think Tori should get rid of Dean, and at one point, Dean admits to one of his male friends he didn’t think he would “get caught”. Oh really, which tells me there are probably more women out there and we’ll all be reading about it soon.

I know Tori looks really bad, physically, on the show. Yeah, she’s never been drop dead gorgeous, but she’s dropped a lot of weight and she hardly ever puts her hair up.  The part on the reunion show that aired this week that got me, Tori has a tattoo of her wedding vows on the side of her rib cage, and damnit, as a “grand gesture” Dean revealed he also got a wedding vow tattoo, vows that he broke.

My thoughts exactly. I’m just sad Tori is so blinded by greed to see her husband for who he is. If they stay together, it won’t surprise me, but if they split up, it also won’t be surprising. And how does the story end? Dean is invited back to tape another season of “Chopped: Canada” and Tori is co-starring with her former ‘90210’ pal Jennie Garth in the ABC Family series “Mystery Girls”, which has not aired yet. That’s it, get some good honest work for once so you won’t be absorbed by all your normal people problems! I’m kidding. Oh and a bonus footage episode of “True Tori” airs next week. Make it stop!