Project Runway, Season 9, Episode 9 (Glam Nation invades)

Yes friends, Adam Lambert will be a guest judge tonight!…the challenge?…design menswear, specifically for one of the new “hip” rock bands on the scene: The Sheepdogs…the band that beat out 15 other hopefuls to land a Rolling Stone cover, where’s Dr. Hook when you need them?let’s carry on…
-Well, real time it is…damn DVR!…Josh is in an apartment by himself????…Olivier’s accent makes me want to hit things…
-“Image is everything.”…yeah yeah, blah-blah-blah…by the way, I let my Rolling Stone subscription lapse, oh well…Teams of 4…2 teams in other words…Laura Kathleen and Bert are together again, and Anthony Ryan…oh boy…the thought of menswear is scaring the designers…wow this band is really retro, kind of played out if you ask me…and they are Canadian, haaaaaaaaaa!…Leot????…Olivier says he’s comfortable with designing menswear…each designer is responsible for a member of the band…cohesion? not necessarily…
-Team names again?…Viktor, Josh, Olivier, and Kimberly are “Team Untitled” and I don’t know why but Anya, LK, Bert, and Anthony Ryan are…”Team Harmony”…oh the irony…Mood montage…
-Tim yelling at Olivier is stressing him out…butch up honey!…Bert helps LK pay for her materials…Kimberly is singing The Sheepdogs’ song…singing it better I might add…
*My DVR calculations were incorrect, thus because I’m recording The X-Factor, I can’t record The Office and watch PR, I’m not happy, but the thought of Adam Lambert sticking it to these designers is making me smile*

(By the way, here are The Sheepdogs, why is the one dude NOT wearing his shades?)
– OOH, quick promo for Project Runway All-Stars…I just half of Josh’s ass!…he’s heard of waxing right?…”you remember Peter Butler?”…boring hair consultation montages ahead…like these guys use product, bitch please!
-Brief shot of ambulance, everyone is fine…maybe we’ll see some jeggings!…how often do they make jeans??…Gunn check…Leot, that’s the one in pic sans shades…Tim-“Anya is a master of prints.” Anthony Ryan now has a mohawk, all rock and roll!…Bert’s jeans look really flamey…he uses the term “blouse”…whoa…this could be his time to go?

(This how angry I am about my DVR screw-up!)
-LEOT!!!…what a weird name; I blame Canada….Anya has loaned Kimberly fabric, will she regret it?…Josh “I primarily sell to gay men”…DOP!…Olivier has chosen a feminine pattern for the singer’s shirt…and he’s facing time management issues, again…maybe he will gone…There you go Bert, Deep Purple!…
-Olivier is worried he didn’t get the right sizing; the dress forms are not men…duh!…Kimberly is working up some womanly-looking stuff…Olivier’s pants are atrocious, he’s in trouble…he doesn’t even know how pants are sized…
-Pow-wow at Atlas…first the girls…Anya and Kimberly will have time management issues…the guys, we’re still talking about Olivier…he’s gotta be gone!
*There’s another GOP debate going on; they just don’t schedule these on a good night for me*
-Let the last-minute panic attacks begin!…oh, instead of a runway show, the band will play one song in each of the team’s designs in front of the judges…I’m seeing a lot of fringe; too predictable…Bert’s tie-dyed shirt, oh lord!…Olivier’s client, Ewan-the lead singer, is patiently waiting in his underwear; I think we’ll see some busted seams…Kimberly’s is awful, Bert “it looks like things they were in fast-food restaurants” he didn’t mention circa 1975…think an old Burger King uniform…

(Let’s hope Lambert isn’t this vicious!)
-Runway, er stage time…oh Heidi, you are so not rock and roll!…ADAM LAMBERT!…okay…
-Team Harmony…Anthony Ryan’s is the only one that looks tolerable…the rest look like daishikis (sp?)…I’m guessing to Bert, “now” is 1992?…Team Untitled…I hate to say this, but their looks almost look exactly the same and this song sucks!…I mean yeah, they are going for a 70s look, but are these looks too literal?…Olivier is “not worried”, okay…
-I have a feeling Lambert will pick up some of the slack with Michael’s zingers…Team Harmony is up first for judgement…Nina said the looks are too “literal”…are we in sync?…LK scores with Leot’s red jeans…ooh, Nina does not like…Bert…why did Ewan go with pigtail braids?…well the judges are sold, on the look AND the pigtails…Anya…Nina-Sam looks like “Pocahontas”, pants are busting at the seams…Michael-“reggae Jesus”…Adam “8th grade production of Hair”…Anthony Ryan…Ryan???…nice print, Michael “Golden Girl goes rock n roll” Nina “woman’s blouse”…
-Team Untitled…Ewan/Olivier…”boring” Heidi “dad jeans”…Nina “too feminine”…oh, they are calling him out on his unfinished shirt…Sam/Kimberly…Michael “Peter Brady at an autumn harvest”, Nina “old man’s pajamas” Adam “Scooby-Doo where are you?” Heidi “forest elf”…Leot/Viktor…judges like the jacket, it looks expensive…his jeans fit…Ryan/Josh…man, he does look like Jesus!…Heidi loves the “zipper in the crotch”…

(I think this says it all.)
-And now…Bert is safe, Viktor is the winner!…LK is safe, Josh is safe, Anthony Ryan is safe, and Anya is safe?!?
-AUF’ed: OLIVIER!!!!!…finally…he was too dainty…
**Next week: “look to the past” and Anya loses her money and Michael screams!**

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Project Runway, Season 9 Episode 8…(Bell Sleeves!)

Here we are again and I’m already losing my mind over the new TV season, next week will be busy!…tonight’s episode involves men helping out the designers for help designing for their “significant others” but I bet they are all women, oh well…
 -Atlas, there are now 9 left, Bryce is the only one hasn’t won a main challenge…Josh’s tank top is back…the girls?…Anya is just lucky, that’s all there is to it…Burt writes “It’s Raining Men” on the chalkboard, cheers for originality…
-And here come the dudes…a few of designers are like “I’ve done menswear” Josh says it…Anya has immunity, no more immunity after this challenge…Olivier has to choose a fat guy; the terror in his eyes…
-Tim reveals the twist, but the guys have to guide the designers, it could be tricky…the designers are only provided with the women’s sizes…I think the producers chose rightfully chose guys who have no clue about their ladies…Bert’s guy “she’s a hot piece of tushy!”…Josh’s Josh wants something “simple”…Much to Bryce’s dismay, Jovan’s girl likes pink…Anthony Ryan has the mountain man, ooh girl!…Olivier, “I don’t like women having boobs”, really?…and the guys accompany the gang to Mood…Laura Kathleen is one of 3 girls left!…GO BIG RED!…Olivier asks Tim about breasts…tee-hee! “I have no experience” oh the stereotypes tonight.
(Uh, huh-huh, hey baby!, uh huh-huh)
-Style lines come before fabric, I didn’t know that…Bert’s guy is a total boob-hound!…hilarious!…oh God, he does a motorboat on the dress form…and he’s still talking about boobs…here come the ladies…LK’s lady wants to be Barbie, errrr?…Okay boob guy’s lady, I don’t see anything spectacular…I mean they’re a healthy C cup…ooh, a waifish new wave girl?…Brian is the mountain man’s name, AR is designing a dress that looks like one she lost in an airport, nice story….
-Josh’s Josh girl is wanting simple…uh oh…Olivier’s couple, oh dear, he wants quiet time…a bell sleeve??????????….he’s never worked with clients before…already looking like he’ll be in the bottom 3…Janine and Jovan, how cute…Bryce got PINK-pink, he’s dyeing it…the scenes of the designers eating are intriguing..Bryce misses his boyfriend, awww!…Bryce will either win or go home tonight…nice editing…
 (Bell sleeve realness!)
-Anya and LK in bed???…Josh in shorts!…I’m sure sleep shorts…Viktor thinks Bryce’s pink “looks like anti-diarrhea medicine”…ouch!…I don’t think Pepto is that pink…he wants to use the one color for the whole dress…Olivier can’t take the aggression, butch up sweetie!…oh and these ladies will be walking the runway…Viktor has the indie girl, she looks super cute…Anya has a lot of editing to do…Bert seems to really be having fun, but the hating continues, LK “is he trying to channel Dior?”…this will be Josh’s most subdued look to date…Tim thinks his lady has “firm” breasts…funny stuff…Bryce is definitely in trouble…Josh is wearing some type of uptown Mossy Oak camo tee…
(Barbie, the brunette?)
-And here’s where the breakdowns begin…that’s the second time a dress form has fallen this season; I never recall seeing it happen in the last 9 years…Lots of last-minute sewing happening…Olivier’s lady is having major wedgie issues and he’s had enough…Kimberly’s is oh my God wrong!…so there’s your bottom 3: Kimberly, Olivier, and Bryce…we’ll see…Olivier is so out of sorts, he misses part of his hair/make-up time…he’s so over his clients…Tim, “today I’m playing the role of a large, stinging mallet!”…huh?…Olivier and Kimberly told to stop sewing on their way to the runway…
(Project Accessory???? WTF?)
-Runway time…guest judge: Malin Akerman (love her!)….LK: good color, I don’t like the fabric, Anthony Ryan: maybe boring, Bert: the fit is a little off, it’s nice, Josh: boring, but good-looking, Bryce: PINK! and the fit could be better, Kimberly: curvacious!, don’t know, Olivier: I can’t tell how the pants are fitting, who knows?, Anya: I don’t like the sleeve, should have left it off, Viktor: Love it!, great colors…Kimberly, Olivier, and LK are safe…oops!…
-Bert, Bryce, and Anthony Ryan are on the bottom…I say Viktor wins…Anya and Josh are on top as well…Geez, why does this show have to be an hour and half now????…I’m exhausted, but it’s almost the end…Michael Kors’ zingers for the bottom 3…
(Bryce) “it looks like you’re going to a buffet table and you’re stuffing a lamb chop in one pocket and a beer bottle in the other pocket…it looks like she slept in the car on the way to the wedding”
(Anthony Ryan) “it almost looks like superhero ice skater”
-Those sucked!…lots of “old lady” comments tonight…I think they give Anya way too much credit, but she could win the whole thing…
-Verdict…Josh wins!?!?, odd…he does a back hand spring!…safe: Bert
Auf’ed: BRYCE (you see!, the power of editing rules again!)
*Next week: Another team challenge…the Sheepdogs????…ADAM LAMBERT IS THE GUEST JUDGE BITCHES!!!!! YES!

Dance Moms: It’s "Laquifa", My Bad!

I’ll have you know, I’ve gained the most views I’ve ever had with my blog pertaining to my post about “The Laqueefa/Laquifa Incident” on Dance Moms…Thanks by the way!  However, I never got a single comment, it’s cool.  At least somebody is reading this.  
On this week’s episode, we get to re-visit “LaQueefa” and boy I was not ready for this.  The Abby Lee Miller dancers are in LA for their last competition before Nationals (seriously, when is this show over?), Maddie moves back to the top of the pyramid after sitting out last week.  Kelly’s daughters, Brooke and Paige are at the bottom since Kelly threw a fit about her daughters not getting special attention like Maddie does.  And she bitched about how she has to sew her daughters’ costumes “five minutes before they go on”, so Abby told her to sketch and make her own costumes AND get another choreographer.  We’ll get to that in a little bit.  Abby decides the girls need a pick me up on attitude with their new routine, so she brings in someone with attitude and fierceness, the original LaQuifa (yes, this is how it’s spelled)

If LaQuifa looks familiar, that’s because you’ve seen her twice on RuPaul’s Drag Race; yes, it’s none other than Shangela LaQuifa Whatley (not sure that’s spelled right), and she was fierce!  

Sure, her sewing skills are still rough and her hat was coming off her head, but hey, this is why Dance Moms rules.  Shangela dropped by to give the girls a crash course in attitude and how to do a “death drop”; guess who gets to do the death drop? NIA!  

Oh Holly, it’s going to be okay and it’s going to rock! I’m not going to give a complete recap, but Abby was a substitute mom for Maddie and Mackenzie, since Melissa had to stay behind and spend time with her boyfriend, who pays for all the dance stuff, it makes sense, but she should’ve been there for Hollywood competition.  We also see Abby have a crisis of her own for the first time.  She gets a phone call her mother has been admitted to the hospital in Florida; we saw her on an earlier episode.  So Abby is quite distraught, but she’s all business.  Not only is there drama within the dance group, a crazy lady named Cathy has decided she is going to fly some of her dancers out, including this one:

to compete AGAINST Abby’s dancers, because Cathy keeps on insisting Vivi was never able to demonstrate her full capabilities competing with Abby’s group. (CUE GIGANTIC EYE ROLL!)  Even Vivi herself, who I’m sorry, but she has looked like she hasn’t given a shit at all this season, speaks up and says she and her partner, Justice, can beat Nia and Mackenzie!?!?  Um:

I don’t think so!  Okay, we’ve skipped ahead a little bit…let me back up to the issue of Kelly finding a choreographer for Paige.  Meet Mike!

Hey girl!…this is Mike uh, don’t remember the last name, but he’s danced with “Lady GaGa, Ke$ha, Adam Lambert, so you’re in good hands..”  Uh huh.  And wouldn’t you know, Paige has a complete breakdown, because Mike only has so little time to teach Paige her “independent” solo; and Paige freaks out so much, she decides to pull out of the competition, awww!  Which I believe this is the second time this season she’s done that. 
Oh Cathy thought she could psyche out Chloe by having her dancer use the exact same solo music, oh dear.  That backfired!  And yes, Vivi and Justice didn’t even place in their category.  If the show gets picked up for a second season (DUH!), I think we’ll see Cathy and poor little Vivi and the Candy Apple Dance Company again…UGH!
All right, when the group number goes on, the song is very drag queen, which by the way, all of the music that we’ve heard on the show, who the hell does it???  The number is called “My Pumps”, yes honey!  I’ll admit, it’s not the best group number I’ve seen this season, but Abby knows it will win.  And after Nia does this:

The Death Drop, how can the routine not win?  Well, they place THIRD!?!  Yes, Abby Lee Miller’s girls will go into the season finale down in the dumps.  Then, they’ll definitely need more LaQuifa, what? 
I have no idea if the season finale is the next week, if it is, I’ll live tweet or write a Project Runway-esque recap.
(All screenshot images courtesy of lifetimetv.com)

Adam Lambert Debuts New Song in Quebec!

It’s been about a minute since I blogged about my beloved Glambert; and he’s been hard at work on a new album which I’m hoping will be released by the end of the year.  The only news I’ve read recently about Lambert is that he was the 3rd highest earning (ex) American Idol competitor, not bad at all and yes, he out-earned Kris Allen, duh!  
The following clip comes from the land of Canada, the mostly French-speaking Quebec to be specific.  So, you’ll hear a lot of Francais rumblings while Lambert is singing.  And I love when Lambert says it’s a new song, “I know I’ll see it on YouTube”, yes honey you will!
See what you think of “Outlaws of Love”

Deconstructing THAT Album Cover!

Yeah, there’s a part of me that is a little thrown off by Lady GaGa’s recently revealed Born This Way album cover.  I’ll explain; as you may or may not know, GaGa’s second single, “Judas” dropped Friday after it had leaked and of course it was immediately put up for sale on iTunes.  NO, I did not buy it, why? In my opinion, it’s a poor follow-up to “Born This Way.”  Am I wrong?  Thus, my mood concerning GaGa was already clouded, then a little after midnight Friday, I saw this cover.  My first thought? oh, this is some kind of joke, although it’s a little late for April Fools, but I soon realized, no, not a joke, it IS the cover.  The fan comments were all over the place, many loved it and they loved it because it’s totally what GaGa would do, but then the others thought the same way I did, in saying they thought it was a joke.  I’ll admit, it’s campy, but not campy in the same way as Adam Lambert’s For Your Entertainment cover.
 I was all about Lambert’s cover, but GaGa’s is on a whole new strange interpretation of camp.  I guess we now know why she was in the egg, why she was–cosmetically–sharpening her facial features and her shoulder blades.  She was turning into a friggin’ chopper, did anyone honestly expect that?  I was under the impression this was going to be the cover, not just a single cover:
 Not too busy, it’s artistic, it gets to the point.  In the end, GaGa will do whatever she wants, because without a doubt, damnit, she can!  And the best part, she doesn’t care what I or anyone thinks of her new motorcycle album cover deal.  That my friends defines a true artist.  Will I buy Born This Way?  Absolutely!  It’s my American duty!

If You Happen to Google Kim…

The stories you’ll see are that Ms. Zolciak is in fact pregnant!  A fact she denied on Watch What Happens Live! last night on Bravo; well I don’t know if the clip made the broadcast, but you can find it in the bonus clips. Zolciak has been dating Atlanta Falcons’ star Kroy Biermann since May.  You saw them meet in the infamous, “Sheree dances” episode just last week.  I missed my favorite Housewives last night, due to way too many shows I keep up with: the American Music Awards–NKOTBSB!, Boardwalk Empire–dirty and naughty last night!, and The Walking Dead–what happened to the dude who sawed his hand off???  So I also missed the after show.  I’ll get to my DVR as soon as I can.  Oh and how can I forget, Adam Lambert’s E! True Hollywood Story debuted last night as well; I did watch it before I went to bed.  Um, I didn’t learn anything I didn’t already know.  The only new information I got was the Parents Televsion Council’s complaint about Glambert’s racy performance at the American Music Awards LAST year is still in the process of being heard by the FCC–really?  And his simple battery case against a papparazo a few months ago in Miami is still pending.  The show as a whole was okay; and yes, the AMAs were controversy-free this time around; oh how could you ABC? 
Okay, well here’s Kim performing her new hit single (?) “Google Me” on Watch What Happens Live:

If I Had…Tickets!!!!

I’m not sure my quest to see Glambert in concert will pan out…yes, he’s coming to Evansville, IN too–September 1st….much, much closer to me than Nashville (SOLD OUT) and Louisville (SOLD OUT)…I spoke with someone the other night on whether he liked Adam Lambert or not…he said NO!…I was a little miffed, but he then explained that Lambert is not making the best choices, thus far, with his career…I think Adam being out is wonderful, but is it hurting his possible pop domination????…that seemed to be my new friend’s opinion…no hating of course…I mean if he can sell out two cities, which yes, are gay-friendly in the bible belt, why can’t he get bigger?…it’s a comfort to know “Whataya Want From Me” at least cracked the top 10, but it’s beginning to sink on the Billboard Top 100…upon further investigation, all of new American Idol Lee DeWyze’s charting efforts are dropping even faster!…well, duh!…it all comes from the curse of this terrible season…I’m still not sure where Crystal Bowersox will end up in all of this…I fear she will sink like a rock as well..hopefully, she can work with some good writers and producers…but then again, she’s not a traditional pop star…we’ll just have to see…and if anyone can hook me up with tickets to any of those Glambert’s shows…let me know!
Oh and here’s Adam’s new video for “If I Had You”….girl, lose the mullet!…LMAO!

Lee Who???…It’s All About This Guy…

Okay, we all knew Crystal was not going to win…and I know this is mean-spirited, but Lee DeWyze will be forgotten, at least outside of American Idol circles, in 6 months, maybe less…I won’t rant yet again about how this season was terrible…I just hope the Idol producers finally realize the same thing…I was just as cynical watching the finale as I was watching the last few weeks…I’m just very disappointed…
The show itself had some nice moments…Paula returned with bad stand-up sending her former nemesis Simon Cowell on his merry way…and was it just me or did the other judges look like they were a little surprised Paula was there??…oh hell, they knew the Simon farewell was not complete unless she was there…as far as weird moments go…Dane Cook sang a song consisting of some of Simon’s most famous Idol zingers and at the end, some of the Idol rejects stormed the stage and I think it was planned…then some of them stared to hog a microphone, including my personal fave, Norman Gentle/Nick Mitchell…they cut off that trainwreck very quickly and cut to commercial…another weird and beyond weird moment was when Idol gave Gen. Larry Platt and “Pants on the Ground” some more airtime…complete with saggy panted hip hop dancers with their caps turned sideways…all of a sudden, William Hung popped up…Good Lord why?…moving on…
The musical performances were hit and miss…the typical pairing of an Idol contestant with a music act was the norm of course…the best?:
Yes!!!…I’d say Bret Michaels’ appearance was the biggest surprise and the best kept secret…the show started out with all the top 12 in school uniforms and singing “School’s Out”…complete with Orithani and Alice Cooper!!!…yes, Idol got a little odd there…but it was cool…well Christina Aguliera got her 15 minutes after a week that started off with the cancellation of her summer tour, and she did okay with a ballad from her new album…when I started watching the show live, Hall & Oates joined the Idol guys for a medley…the Crystal/Alanis Morrisette duet was awesome, I guess Alanis had to stand in for the elusive Melissa Etheridge, who could not appear on the finale because she appeared a few weeks ago on Dancing With the Stars????…oh those pesky TV contracts…Lee got to jam with Chicago..zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…he’s from there you know!…UGH!…another surprise, I guess, Janet Jackson, who was looking really good…new short haircut…I likey!…
The show climax? a reunion of all the Idol winners, but one was missing!…and I didn’t even notice David Cook was absent…and many other former Idol contestants joined in on stage…but NO Clay Aiken or Adam Lambert!!!…wrong!…the story with Glambert’s abscence, he’s on vocal rest before he kicks off his tour…I’d say that’s a fair reason…he’s a smart one…unfortunately for me, his Louisville show on July 10th is sold out…but…he’s also appearing in Nashville at the Ryman on July 7th…PLEASE PRAY I GET TICKETS!….
So, Simon is gone….thank you sir for these past 9 seasons and best of luck with your future projects…The X-Factor better be good Cowell!

Honey I’m Home!

So, we say goodbye to the female Adam Lambert…hey, in the end, she was NO Adam Lambert…she got worse instead of getting better…she became manic and she talked way too long to the judges…and do you think Kara would really hang out with her??…who knows…
I had extremely high hopes for glassblower Siobhan Mangus…she brought that quirky vibe to the show although in the end, she out-quirked her talent…it’s all proof America would still like their pop stars without funny hair and elaborate costumes…but wait…doesn’t Mama Sox fit that bill?…well, maybe not the elaborate costume part…and folks, Crystal is the only female left in the competition…she will have to outlast 2 mediocre singers (Aaron Kelly and Casey James), 1 ego-maniac (Big Mike), and the guy who can be energizing, but still very boring with no originality (Lee Dewyze)…
I mean next week is the songs of Frank Sinatra with Harry Connick, Jr. as mentor…what can Casey and Lee do with Sinatra????…I can tell you what Mike and Aaron can do, boring-flatline ballads…it will be interesting to see what Crystal does…she definitely needs to bring back the power in her voice, let’s face it, this week was not good…and there were fears she might visit the bottom 3…she didn’t seem to sing out at all…she was probably intimidated by the arrangement, which I was not a fan of…I fear she may be losing just a little bit of steam…which may land her in second place when all is said and done…however, finishing second on Idol is not a bad thing…GLAMBERT!..hello!…speaking of Lambert, he tweeted out last night that “Whataya Want From Me” has now gone platinum in the US…not bad for a runner-up…

Thank God for GLEE (and Madonna!)

You know, I had my doubts about the second half of GLEE…would I be as excited as when I had to wait all that time after the pilot premiered last May?…would I be satisfied with the music?…would I be satisfied with the jokes?…yes, yes, and yes!!!…okay, that last yes is a little premature, and I would be referring to all the hair jabs Sue throws at Will, although he got his digs in last night, but at a price…no spoilers I promise….
“The Power of Madonna” episode may be my favorite to date…not that I favor one episode over the other, but this one was just so jam-packed with music, all approved by Madonna…which you know she will be making major bank off of this…I mean how buzzworthy has Sue Sylvester’s “Vogue” been????
It’s so brilliant…but again, it all came with a price…shhhhhhhhhhh!…and I’m referring to the episode, not the brilliance of Jane Lynch…I must say, I think the second half has been better so far without all the baby drama…I know it will be back, but when the show just goes for the music and the fun, it’s so much more fun to watch…I wish every week could be like this week….I may have to download some of the tracks, since you can buy the The Power of Madonna cd right now!…I would venture to say this cd may outsell volumes one and two combined…and you know more compilations are on the way, plus the cast’s mini-tour….
Speaking of tours, one sidebar…Adam Lambert’s “Glam Nation” dates were announced late yesterday, and sadly, nothing even close to me…but it was only about a 15-city set…there will be more…or I should say there better be more!…
As for Idol Gives Back tonight, I’m not sure who will go home…you know the producers may just pull a gotcha and not send anyone home because of the nature of tonight’s show…I’ll do my best to recap tomorrow because I’ll miss the first half hour…