Scott Stapp’s Failed Come To Jesus Moment

scott-stappIf you still follow what is going on with Creed’s various members, then this past week, you hit the jackpot my friend!

Here’s the partial video (the original has since been taken down) that lead singer Scott Stapp released this week. Did someone hit him in the face with an iron? It’s serious add-a-chin situation.

Okay then. It turns out the Creed front man was placed under an involuntary psychiatric hold earlier this month. Note the word involuntary. His wife, who seeking a divorce, wants the singer placed under a mandatory 60-day hold, since he trotted out and he apparently went on a drug binge. This is, of course, the latest in a barrage of legal troubles Stapp has landed in on and off since 2002. The singer also attempted suicide about ten years ago. Creed split up in 2005, then reunited for a new album and tour in 2009. A subsequent album and tour never came to fruition due to a “disagreement” between Stapp and guitarist Mark Tremonti.

If I hear a Creed song now, I can’t complain. I think they’re music still holds up and I’m not even talking about how all their songs were/are considered rock songs with a religious message. I know haters, like all those Nickelback haters, think Scott Stapp wanted to be a Jesus-like figure, preaching, yet rocking a many disciples’ faces off. All the rock music I hear now, the kind I would be playing if I still worked in rock radio, it doesn’t sound all that different. Rock music constantly morphs, yet, we have bands who still keep it simple. Now if there is a band with a similar Creed following, I have no idea who that band or solo artist is.

My point is, I’m worried about Stapp’s angular chin. It might poke someone’s eye out in the psychiatric ward.

 

 

A Bone To Pick With Comedy Central’s @midnight

First of all, I absolutely love Comedy Central’s newest game show @midnight. I like Chris Hardwick, who is lot funnier than I remember. And the show is great exposure for some of the country’s most underrated comedians. Wait, I think at least two non-US comedians have been featured on the show*.

I mean where else are you going to see scary shit like this.

Facebook

Facebook

Okay, so what is it I have a problem with? It’s simple, none of my #HashtagWars tweets have been retweeted! And while many that have been retweeted are generally funny and creative, I know I came up with at least one entry this week that someone else tweeted word for word and…it was retweeted?!? Wednesday night’s (1/15) hashtag war was #CelebrityCrimes. Here’s the first one I came up with.

Well, here’s the exact same tweet and,

To be fair, I’m sure a slew of folks come up with the same ones, yet, this one was given “POINTS” after I submitted mine. I’m proud of this one too.

Am I being too obsessive about this? Of course. I jokingly compare my aim to be retweeted on @midnight to the late Roger Ebert’s longtime campaign to be selected for The New Yorker‘s cartoon caption contest. After 280 submissions, Ebert finally won the contest 2011. Did he quit after he succeeded? Hell no.

Thus, I will keep submitting my #HashtagWars and honestly, it’s fun to see what everyone comes up with. My quick wit will pay off…one day.

Skyfall–The Stuff That Happened This October First Week

Sometimes my brain hurts, not my head, my brain. Most nights I can’t sleep because I have about a billion thoughts running through my head from “what am I eating tomorrow?” to “What happened to Britney Spears’ face?”, I’m serious here. This past week was a biggie for pop culture and the state of the union. Although I won’t be able to cover everything, I think I’ve got a pretty good handle on the highlights. Let’s do this!

First, this picture of former third party Presidential candidate and billionaire H. Ross Perot:

“Now see here, I’m a G-man!” (upi.com)

Okay, the photo is six years old, but I find it humorously fascinating. USA Today recently interviewed Perot and basically, he’s not impressed with President Obama or Governor Romney. Imagine that. Plus, he’s not all that confident a third party candidate can shake things up anymore. He may be old, but he has a point. Roseanne Barr, who is running as a candidate for the “Peace & Freedom” party is on the ballot in only 3 states right now and I just discovered her running mate is…Cindy Sheehan, oh dear. And I find it interesting Barr is NOT on the ballot in the state where she makes her home now, Hawaii. Hey, every little bit counts. I salute you HRP!

A Hot Mess of a Debate and Romney Wants to cut PBS (Big Bird reference required).

“You son of a bitch, a Muppet?” (za.news.yahoo.com)

Ah, the Presidential Debates. The four, now three chances the country has left to decide who would be better at doing the President thing. Frankly, Wednesday night’s debate, to me, came off as a hot mess. God bless Jim Lehrer, he tried to set the time limits, he tried to get in a word edgewise, bless him. Romney came off as if he had chugged a case of 5 Hour Energy and Obama, sans teleprompter, was like “seriously bitch?” The President wasn’t at his strongest and the Governor pounced and he pounced hard. And Romney, who stated he would cut PBS, did it by evoking the name of one of the network’s most popular character’s, Big Bird, oh bitch, you made a big boo-boo there! When did educational television become so taboo? At least you have to give Romney credit, he outright said he would do it, that’s rare honesty. Next up, the VP debate in Danville, KY. No, I won’t be going. Security will be mega-tight. And pep up Barack!

The Maybe Made-Up Nicki Minaj/Mariah Carey American Idol feud.

This show needs all the help it can get, even if it’s at the expense of a false claim of violence. So, you may or may not have seen the video of Minaj losing it over Carey’s diva-tude. Oh, what the hell, let’s watch it again, courtesy of TMZ.

Even if this is all a publicity stunt as Minaj claims, it’s not good for viewers, who for some odd reason, still love the show. And then Mariah Carey told Barbara Walters that Minaj threatened to shoot her. Is Uncle Nigel really this desperate? I say yes. Of course the producers gloss over all of this by saying that this panel is the most “dynamic and passionate they’ve ever had.” Right. One of my friends said we may not see Minaj by the time the show airs in January. I say that’s a fair statement, or at least the producers will threaten to fire her and there’s go the publicity machine again. I’m over it.

The Lone Ranger trailer debuts to a less than stellar reception.

Bruckheimer, Gore Verbinski, Johnny Depp! How can this go wrong? And to be fair, this is the first trailer. But the first trailer is key. It’s too bad most of this one has way too much production logo nonsense. Eh, here it is.

The First Look At Courtney Stodden and Doug Hutchison on VH1’s Couples Therapy.

Unfortunately, I have to link to this clip, and I have no words. Click here!

Adele’s Bond Theme “Skyfall” Debuts…and it’s awesome!

Since the British mega-songstress is getting read for the birth of her first child, this may be the last new music we hear from her for a while and it’s really good. She’s left us in a good place. Enjoy.

The movie will hit theaters on November 9th.

Oh and the St. Louis Cardinals, dodging bottles and other drink receptacles, survived their Wild Card playoff against the Atlanta Braves and will now enter the Division series to face the team my brother-in-law roots for now, the Washington Nationals. So annoying. Red October is here!

 

 

Honey Boo Boo Finale: It Is What It Is (Indeed!)

Well, we bid adieu to the Thompson clan in a hour-long finale and I think I laughed harder than I had at this episode than any other all season. Should I be ashamed? I know I should, but I don’t care. And good news! Here Comes Honey Boo Boo has been RENEWED, we’ll get to see how the Thompsons celebrate the “HOLLA-days”, YES! An undisclosed number of additional episodes of sneezing, farting, mud-bogging, and sassy-fying have also been confirmed.

Me after finding out the show had been renewed. (realitynation.com)

I’ll try to recap the finale as best as I can without getting too silly. First, we witness a family photo shoot with the Thompsons and Alana, being the diva she is, keeps acting up. And since we are in Georgia and it’s summer, the family is bitching about the heat and the gnats start to swarm. June “put a little paint on the barn” and Sugar Bear? Well he doesn’t dress up, “unless it’s for a funeral”, elegance at its best. I mean, did we or the photographer expect any less? I had a friend point out recently, Honey Boo Boo is NOT cute! I keep saying at least two of the sisters, Anna and Pumpkin, don’t look that bad. There’s no hope for Jessica aka Chubbs, who I wish would wear a size or two larger when it comes to a t-shirt! It drives me nuts when girls/women with big bellies wear shirts that are way too small. PLEASE STOP!

If those gnats could talk. (tlc.discovery.com)

Next, we moved on to more pageant prep, including swimwear, oh dear. Okay, now a friend of mine said last night that Sugar Bear’s little brother Lee aka Uncle Poodle appeared in the episode where the girls went to get pedicures. I must have blanked out, because all I could focus on was the saga of Forklift Foot. Anyway, Uncle Poodle shows up to get grass thrown at him and to show Alana a new routine. I’m glad the Thompsons are so gay-friendly, in fact Alana says at one point, “everyone’s a little gay”, true. If there’s one thing this show has accomplished, really?!?, it shows the family has no prejudices, and that is extremely rare in the South.

We soon learn that since Anna is on the verge of “full labor”, the pageant trek may not happen. You knew the season finale would include the birth of Kaitlyn Elizabeth, the child who has two thumbs on her right hand. Alana was cracking me up talking about the baby, “Kaitlyn arrived on the biscuit express”!!! I was dying. Around this point in the episode, in virtually every family member interview, a swarm of gnats gathered and the hilarity began. It got me to thinking, gnats do swarm in the summer, but after seeing Mama’s Forklift Foot, they also swarm around nastiness and disease. See what I’m getting at here? I’m just being a tad bit mean. Jessica used the term “rancid biscuit bad” to describe the smell of her new niece, okay, she couldn’t quite nail the odor, but it ended up being the smell of baby formula, which I can attest is not that fresh.

Nasty, gnat-covered memories…(facebook.com)

Was there another pageant in the works? Well of course, what would a season finale be without it. I forget what the pageant was called, but it looks like it was held in an old school gym with an old school stage, perfect! I won’t spoil the ending, but we do get to see Glitzy the pig again. That poor soul, those producers just wouldn’t give up without one more Glitzy appearance.

All in all, Here Comes Honey Boo Boo was a very poor example of how not to behave, kidding, but not kidding. I find it funny that the finale was titled, “It Is What It Is” because every episode could’ve had the same title. One additional chapter to this craziness, Sugar Bear was recently in a ATV accident with injuries so serious, it was said he might lose a leg. YIKES! I see a follow-up in the holiday specials forthcoming and I hope he’s okay, but I did not want to see his old, chawed up teeth up close, totally nasty.

That’s it, you better redneck-o-nize!

Bill Clinton’s Big Hands And Honey Boo Boo’s “Department Store”

My plan was simple, watch the rebirth of Slick Willy, then watch the fart machine. I think I made the right decision. Is Bill Clinton badass or what?

“Ze-ro!” (huffingtonpost.co.uk)

If I, or I should say we, could have one President for the rest of our lives, it would be Clinton, and not just for the razzle dazzle. Fact-checking aside, Clinton came correct in his DNC speech Wednesday night. I think he definitely re-energized the base and he did it going off script, seriously, why did they even bother with the teleprompter? Clinton is at his best when he charms and he speaks off the cuff. However, has he always had giant hands? And not just giant hands, but also, bony fingers. It’s true Clinton is half the man he used to be due to heart problems, and rumored veganism (notice I didn’t say vaginaism), but those hands creep me out! The only other guy with the exact same hands, this guy!

poorrichardnews.com

Head of State y’all! Wow, if Obama and Clinton had a baby, Chris Rock???? It’s just a theory. Will President Obama be able to stand out with his own nomination speech? It’s tough to tell. Clinton will always be a hard act to follow and there’s always mumblings of Secretary of State Hillary Clinton still thinking about White House run in 2016. We can all dream. And we’re all in this together. (I stole that line)

Meanwhile…

Never forget! (facebook.com)

It’s amazing how much lard can fill a half hour of TV. This week, Honey Boo Boo went wig-shopping at…wait for it…”Shh! It’s a Wig” in nearby Macon. As with the family’s visit to a spa earlier this season, the wigmaster/associate was a little taken aback by the Thompsons. Needless to say, Alana did NOT get a wig for her next glitz pageant. One line that made me laugh ever since I saw it in the coming attractions for the season, when Alana gets the panty hose put on her head for a wig, she says “I look like I’m gonna rob somebody!” Yep, it still makes me laugh, am I going to hell? Next on the agenda, Sugar Bear buys the family an above ground pool, since it’s soooooooooooo hot in Georgia. And let’s be honest, this series had to be shot LAST summer, thank God it wasn’t this summer or Mama would have swelled up like Jabba the Hutt. The pool made it to fruition, and Alana jumped in, and was bored with it after five minutes.

Next, I think, the family joined some friends for some four-wheelin’ and a fish fry. Now we’re talking. Well, there was this set-up that the gang was going to drive down to the local department store, little did I know, the department store?

Oh dear (mynews-today.com)

When they pulled up, I said out loud “Son of a bitch!” Yes, the Thompsons and their friend Tony, went dumpster diving! And at one point, Punkin got rolled up in a what I’m sure was a disease-ridden mattress. Crazy has went too far! The stereotype has gone too far! I love it! A story broke Wednesday investigating what kind of salary is the family making from the show. Here’s the story from TMZ. You’re damn right and since the show beat the RNC last week, I’d expect a salary upgrade, and maybe they won’t have to shop at dumpsters anymore.

I love this country.

 

Courtney Stodden Turns 18 (In Dog Years)

Folks, I’m sorry, but I still don’t buy that this 80’s- looking, cracked out vixen is 18.

pophangover.com

She looks rode harder than most 40-year-olds I’ve seen and trust me, I’ve seen some rough ones and I know I’m almost 37, and I don’t look it, but what the hell is going on here? If Stodden is 18, I was out of high school and starting my freshman in year in college before she was born. Here’s what’s even more weird, Justin (Les) Bieber turned 18 in March. You cannot tell me this bitch is younger than him and his baby dyke face. Hell, she could be his mother!

Here’s looking at you Principal Rooney (idolator.com)

Not buying it! Nevertheless, now that Stodden is 48 18 and legal, she has gotten tons of offers to do porn, well why not? Exploitation (i.e. fake knockers) keeps your name out there, well mainly on TMZ, but it makes you seem interesting if not whorish. And I ask with all the other train wreck reality shows out there, why in God’s name has she not appeared on my TV yet? Whenever she was really born, Stodden’s plastic style and no substance screams TLC, VH1, Oxygen, and so on and so forth. The fact that she’s married to a D-list actor (Doug Hutchison) who is A LOT older than her, or maybe they’re the same age, is the icing on the reality trash TV cake! Pun not intended, screw porn! Oh and here’s me, Oprahized!

37 and proud of it, you got that Gayle?!?

 

Random Movie Review: J. Edgar

One of the greatest memes ever!

Okay, this hilarious meme has nothing to do with J. Edgar Hoover or the film bearing his name, but it has a government feel and a sexy feel. But now I think about it, you would have NEVER heard the late FBI director say anything with the term “pussy” in it. That’s a joke, I think.
I had let my copy of J. Edgar from Blockbuster sit around for about a week until I finally decided to watch it last night. By the way, I’m giving up on DVD subscriptions for a while. Who has time? And in the end, I think going to a store or a Redbox is cheaper. Anyhoo, my Dad, a retired social studies teacher, had gone to see this movie and he wasn’t that wild about it. I knew I wanted to see it, but I wasn’t sure what I was going to get. Hoover, who served as FBI director for nearly 50 years, was a man ahead of his time in ways of gathering evidence via DNA and fingerprinting, but he also was known for secret wire taps and a very secret sex life. You know, that whole cross-dressing thing?

Hey sailor! (amazon.com)

There is only one scene in J. Edgar that alludes to Hoover’s fetish. SPOILER ALERT! When his mother dies, Hoover tries on one of her favorite necklaces and then proceeds to put on one of her dresses. And then he collapses into a sobbing ball on the floor. Leonardo DiCaprio is actually quite good as the controversial head G-man, and even better is Armie Hammer as Hoover’s longtime associate and probably lover, Clyde Tolson. Tolson is potrayed as the flamboyant one in the relationship, but he apparently did his share of work for the FBI. He was acting FBI chief after Hoover’s death in 1972 but was soon replaced by Nixon appointee L. Patrick Gray, and then Watergate figure Mark Felt AKA “Deep Throat”.

I found Hoover’s rigid personality a turn-off. The film is basically 75 percent flashback with Hoover dictating his life story to various agents in 1963. A bulk of the film is dedicated to the Lindbergh baby kidnapping and investigation. Hoover embellishes the story as he did with many other portions of his life. Though Charles Lindbergh’s body was eventually found, Hoover’s men arrested Bruno Hauptmann, he was then convicted and, under New Jersey law, put to death.

I’m usually a fan of Clint Eastwood‘s movies, but this one just didn’t flow and there wasn’t enough story about the years between Hauptmann’s conviction and when Hoover is dictating his story. I do applaud Eastwood’s effort to tell a little bit of a love story which Oscar-winner Dustin Lance Black wrote the script. If I was grading this, I would give it a solid C.

Wolf Gang/Flickr

PS, I want Bill Clinton back!

Nails For Hair, Mamma’s Got A Mugshot, AND A Pregnant Man Update

I feel like I should should be adorning a turban on my head and tearing open an envelope like Carnac to reveal what these three things have in common, but I got nothing. I think I would’ve been diagnosed ADHD because it’s hard to find one thing to write about, so I thought I would just go off and hit some highlights.

First up, this: WARNING if you are the “medical shows/issues make me squeamish” type.

When I heard about this story yesterday, and I looked it up, I was thinking about sharing the story with the tagline, “It Sucks To Be Her!”, however, I had a change of heart. Most cases like Isom’s are not found in lower 48. They are found in third world countries. Although there’s no way in hell I would ever become a doctor, these types of conditions fascinate me. I watched a documentary a couple of weeks ago about young boy from South America who had a giant mole covering part of his torso and all of his back and he was nicknamed, “Turtle Boy”.

quierosaber.wordpress.com

The mole was successfully removed and the Dieder was able to function normally and he got to attend school for the first time. God bless him and God bless Shanya Isom!

Yes, it’s true! According to starcasm.net, Honey Boo Boo’s Mom June Shannon (I know I used Thompson in my previous post, so this proves she and Sugar Bear are not married) was arrested–SHOCK!–four years ago and the charges? Contempt of Court and Theft by Taking. Uh huh. The article states this could have been a child support issue. Nevertheless, witness! I think this barn needs some love.

starcasm.net

Yeesh! I think she may have grown another chin since this glamor shot. And despite the naysayers, I’m going to continue to watch Here Comes Honey Boo Boo, and I think I now know why I want to watch it. Call me redneck, but I see people like this family all the time where I’m from in Kentucky. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, but I get a kick out of it. Let’s just chart it up to one of my many guilty pleasure shows.

Finally, “Pregnant Man” Thomas Beatie is back in the news.

Slightly my ass!

When we last left Beatie, he/she had been punched in the crotch by his soon-to-be ex-wife Nancy, therefore he/she had been awarded temporary full custody of the couple’s three children, who were all given birth to by Beatie. So now we are at the divorce phase, but the Arizona judge presiding over the case is puzzled over whether Nancy and Thomas are/were legally married, because technically, the marriage is a same-sex one and same-sex marriage (thanks Jan Brewer!) is illegal in Arizona. But the marriage is supposedly being recognized as a “transgendered” union. To make things more confusing, Beatie has finally had the final female-to-male gender reassignment surgery, and his wife has yet to see him as a complete, physical man. I’d be scratching my balls, er, my head too if I were this judge. Hopefully, this will all be resolved, but no more womb.

Danell Leyva: Girl, We Need To Talk

If you’ve been keeping up the Olympics, I mean Spoilers, the US Men’s gymnastics team hasn’t been as fabulous as the Fab Five aka Women’s team. I really don’t care about men’s gymnastics. Though I do love former US team member Tim Daggett’s color commentary. Someone needs to hose him down! What a goof ball. So, I normally don’t watch the men’s competition, but I’ve had remote control issues the past two days and I’ve been forcing myself to watch all the delayed NBC coverage. Well, I can’t remember if this was on Tuesday night or last night, but I perked up when I saw the towel Danell Leyva had draped over his shoulders.

Excuse me?!? (yardbarker.com)

All right, confession time, I have THAT towel! I have two of them, and a matching hand towel and wash cloth. Mine isn’t as chalk-dusted as Leyva’s, it’s just unusual to see what anyone else would consider an ordinary towel. I’m assuming, but I don’t really care, this towel is a good luck charm? My set was a gift and I still use them, observe:

A mini-towel of shame. (me)

Of course, I now realize that Leyva is getting attention for more than his pommel horse. He’s been tweeting out nude photos of himself. Pile it on God! And I think this may be a Wiener-type situation. Poor Danell. Does he not know about privacy? Nothing is, ahem, private anymore. Just think the places where his lucky charm has been. GROSS! On the other hand, I hold in my possession an exclusive Olympic item. Okay, I’m sure a lot of other people have the same towel set.

I wonder if I will feel more athletic or bold the next time I use my big towel? Oh dear. I guarantee it won’t get as dusty.