Shania Twain’s Lace Front And Cat Suit

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I noticed on Saturday night, ABC was going to air a one-hour concert special of Shania Twain’s Vegas show, “Shania Twain: Still the One Live From Vegas”. Simple enough, so I did the nerdy thing and I recorded it. After all, who doesn’t know all the words to her ridiculously simple songs? I had a friend years and years ago talk about how simple Twain’s rhyming scheme was, like in “Don’t Be Stupid (You Know I Love You)”, the line, “…relax, Max!” Which is really stupid, but Shania sold 40 million albums and she hardly toured. These are the facts, Max!

I had some time to kill, so I decided to watch the special. The picture you see above, that’s her opening look and it looks oddly familiar.

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I get the suit, because Shania, who will turn 50 in August, is in killer shape. I don’t know if it’s good genes or good docs, but DAYUM! What I don’t get is the stringy gloves? Girl, you want people to know you are certainly NOT aging. She opens with two songs in the cat suit, “I’m Gonna Get Ya Good” which is from Up!, her last country/pop album released in 2002?!? She then launches into the ironically titled and aforementioned “Don’t Be Stupid…”  Oh one part I forgot, the show is modeled on using flashy video clips and horses, lots of HORSES! I saw two live animals in the course of a one-hour show. For her second set/TV segment, here’s the outfit.

@DMT_0429-2

A little more subtle and Twain launches into two of her “honky-tonk” songs, “I Ain’t No Quitter” and my personal favorite, “Whose Bed Have Your Boots Been Under?” Those are not Mom Jeans. One consistency in the show, is Twain’s elegant lace front wig or it could be a weave, but I’m going to go with wig. I know a lot of music people will blame Shania for today’s Taylor Swifts, but she was the real deal, singer/songwriter, equestrian. For the third set-up, I’ll be damned if she didn’t walk right off the set of “That Don’t Impress Me Much”.

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She’s serving major cheetah! Now that I think about it, she had some major bangs in the original video, and those same damn abs! Twain also squeezes in “(If You’re Not In It For Love) I’m Outta Here!” No “Any Man of Mine”!!! That don’t impress me much. Well, things in the show had to eventually slow down, however…

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She rides in on this white horse. I imagine she has a stable with about 100 at her disposal, and she sings, “You’re Still the One”. Not kidding, this lovely woman with a sort of manly voice sings that song to her horse.

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I mean she got rid of “Mutt” Lange, she lived in a castle, why this? It’s showmanship that’s why? The second song in the “you guys are sick, really?” set, “From This Moment On”, another tune I love. So, how does this shit show, I mean show I would go to if I could totally afford it????

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“Man! I Feel Like a Woman” I’m not gonna lie, I still get funny feelings throughout my body when I hear it and I get really really funny feelings when I see the original video. Gah! Here’s what the Vegas version looks like, it’s okay.

The bottom line? I still love Shania!

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Scott Stapp’s Failed Come To Jesus Moment

scott-stappIf you still follow what is going on with Creed’s various members, then this past week, you hit the jackpot my friend!

Here’s the partial video (the original has since been taken down) that lead singer Scott Stapp released this week. Did someone hit him in the face with an iron? It’s serious add-a-chin situation.

Okay then. It turns out the Creed front man was placed under an involuntary psychiatric hold earlier this month. Note the word involuntary. His wife, who seeking a divorce, wants the singer placed under a mandatory 60-day hold, since he trotted out and he apparently went on a drug binge. This is, of course, the latest in a barrage of legal troubles Stapp has landed in on and off since 2002. The singer also attempted suicide about ten years ago. Creed split up in 2005, then reunited for a new album and tour in 2009. A subsequent album and tour never came to fruition due to a “disagreement” between Stapp and guitarist Mark Tremonti.

If I hear a Creed song now, I can’t complain. I think they’re music still holds up and I’m not even talking about how all their songs were/are considered rock songs with a religious message. I know haters, like all those Nickelback haters, think Scott Stapp wanted to be a Jesus-like figure, preaching, yet rocking a many disciples’ faces off. All the rock music I hear now, the kind I would be playing if I still worked in rock radio, it doesn’t sound all that different. Rock music constantly morphs, yet, we have bands who still keep it simple. Now if there is a band with a similar Creed following, I have no idea who that band or solo artist is.

My point is, I’m worried about Stapp’s angular chin. It might poke someone’s eye out in the psychiatric ward.

 

 

Why Kathleen Hanna Should NOT Collaborate With Miley Cyrus

diffuser.fm

diffuser.fm

When I’m on Twitter, I miss most of the good tweets. Considering I follow 626 and counting users, the juicy ones can get lost quite easily in my feed. Such as this from Riot Grrl icon Kathleen Hanna in response to Miley Cyrus posting a photo of Hanna to her Instagram:

Not long after this was tweeted out, music nerds went ape shit! One of those being longtime music journalist Ann Powers:

Naturally, I responded.

Obviously, I don’t wish this to happen. The biggest reason being, I question how well does Miley knows Hanna’s music and politics. My immediate thinking is, did Miley post that picture of Hanna with “SLUT” scrawled on her stomach because she really admires her or did she think “that’s really cool/dope/etc, I should try that sometime”? I’m still not convinced and maybe I never will be, that Miley is the heir apparent to the lady pop throne. I’ll give her credit, she’s made Lady GaGa virtually disappear from the radio. Oh, I’ve written one diatribe on why GaGa’s done, and I won’t write another one, although wouldn’t GaGa collaborating with Hanna make more sense? Sadly, that time has passed.

I’m not a fan of posers and I think Miley is working her way up to being the biggest poser in music history. And when I say poser, I mean in terms of her personal style. I’m not against her making HER music, which has surprised a lot of people, myself included. Do I think Miley is a genius? In terms of her image/creating a hype, yes, in terms of her music, I’m on the fence. Cyrus has set a huge bar with Bangerz and her current tour; can her momentum and her creativity last another five years? Right now it’s hard to tell. It’s obvious from Powers’ reaction, her fans are more diverse than ever, and maybe (and this is a soft maybe) a Kathleen Hanna collaboration would rock. Again, it’s the motive, if there is one, that worries me.

By the way, if you want an education on the riot grrl movement and on Hanna/Bikini Kill/LeTigre/The Julie Ruin, I implore you to watch the documentary The Punk Singer. It’s available to stream on Netflix. It’s twerk-free!

More Examples Of Children With Questionable Music Cred

What a crazy week! And yes, I know you are sick of hearing about Miley Cyrus’ grown-up video “We Can’t Stop”, but guess what? I found three more clips that may be just as creepy if not creepier than Miley kissing a life-size Barbie and doing this…

YouTube/Vevo

YouTube/Vevo

Seriously, did Billy Ray have his thumb up his ass when he was “raising” his kids?!? Don’t even get me started on Miley. The sad part of all the video controversy this week? “We Can’t Stop” is a decent song. I may even download it. And in case you are interested to see how this track plays out live, Smiley will be on Jimmy Kimmel Live! Tuesday night, followed by an appearance on GMA AND LIVE with Kelly and Michael on Wednesday morning. She better purchase several bowls in advance of next week.

Moving on, I was alerted to this next song by one of my fellow radio co-workers. Country singer Travis Tritt has recorded a cover of “Sometimes Love Just Ain’t Enough” which was an Adult Contemporary chart-topping duet (it peaked at no. 2 on the Pop chart) for Patty Smyth and Don Henley in 1992, with his daughter, Tyler Reese Tritt. Yes, this has happened, and…a video has happened. Get ready to cringe and/or lose your lunch.

Wow. Finally, you may or may not have heard of Kidz Bop, the outlet which takes current pop hits and they have kids perform them. Now, I’m not sure if this is an official Kidz Bop release, but tiny rapper Matty B. has recorded a kids version of “Thrift Shop” which is one of my favorites. But now, I’m not sure it is. *UPDATE* this is NOT the Kidz Bop version. Let’s get to that momentarily, here’s Matty B and his eyes may or may not be a little crossed.

Okay, after quickly reviewing the Kidz Bop version, Matty B has the advantage. “I’m gonna ROCK some tags…” I’m sure Macklemore & Ryan Lewis are flattered and hey, they will be richer than ever since the track is pretty much the same as it is on the original. No more thrift shop for them!

I gotta go and get “this real big coat”! Later!

 

 

 

 

 

iPod Shuffle At The Gym

(walking.about.com)

(walking.about.com)

First of all, that’s not me obviously. In fact the description of this picture states that you shouldn’t hold on to the side rails on a treadmill. I don’t know why, I think they are there for you to hold on to in starting and in stopping the apparatus. Most treadmills have the bars you hold on to to monitor your heart rate. It’s like you are going on a fun-filled ride to nowhere. Okay, enough of this technical jargon.

Recently, I joined the local YMCA, and I would say it’s one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. I started out going to Zumba classes with some co-workers, and I finally gave in and I joined up, because I love a treadmill. As of now, I’m only interested in cardio. Unfortunately, scheduling issues have limited my Zumba visits, but I intend to try and go back when I can. Like all the young kids today, I like to listen to music when I walk. If it were up to me, I would jump off the treadmill and do a dance break down when a good tune pops up, however, I have to maintain some silent and sweaty dignity.

I love shuffling my iPod, because it’s like a mini birthday present, it could be good or it could be disappointing. Most of time, I will skip a lot of songs because I like upbeat tunes when I walk. Yes, I know I can create a playlist just for these occasions, but I like a game of chance while walking 3.5 mph. Normally, when I begin, I see what song I left off with and today, it was good one, Scandal’s “The Warrior”, a song I love like one of my imaginary children, but it only had a few seconds left so I started fresh.

Okay, after a few skips, I started with…

Cher-“This is a Different Kind of Love Song” from her last album Living Proof. Cher’s new album will be released later this year and damnit, it better be good! It boasts collaborations with P!nk, Lady GaGa, Jake Shears from Scissor Sisters, and her Burlesque co-star Christina Aguliera. Cher just makes me smile, and if you don’t already follow her on Twitter, do it now stupid!

Prince-“When Doves Cry”, a classic and I rarely embrace the Purple One anymore. See? Nice surprise.

Now next, I rarely ever let a slow song ride, but today, I made one exception.

Celine Dion-“Where Does my Heart Beat Now” Ironic? I did skip “It’s All Coming Back to Me Now” because I had to get the blood pumping again…

Scissor Sisters-“Fire With Fire” I have almost every SS album on my iPod; I will never understand why they can’t catch on with radio airplay and album sales. They are on my concert bucket list for sure.

I skipped a bunch after SS, including two more of their songs, but I love the next SS song that came up which is “Only the Horses” from their latest album Magic Hour. Next? I skipped more SS songs. I don’t know why my iPod lumps certain artists together.

Calvin Harris feat. Rihanna-“We Found Love” Yep, finally a mainstream hit, and this is as aerobic as you can get.

After more skips, I landed on Adam Lambert-“Sleepwalker” What the hell happened to one of my favorite American Idol darlings? He’s still awesome, but he needs a tune and an album to jump start his career again. Next?

Cher-“Love and Understanding” HELL YES! MORE CHER! I love this one from her early 90s stuff. Was it a big hit? No, but true fans can appreciate it and its ridiculous dancer-laden video.

Missy Elliot feat. Ciara and Timbaland-“Lose Control” Here’s another artist I will never skip on my iPod. Her beats are the best and I wish she would make a big comeback, I miss her.

Glee Cast (Kristin Chenoweth and Matthew Morrison)-“Alone” I’m still mystified by the fact that FOX has ordered two more seasons of Glee. It just doesn’t have that spark that it had in the first season. My sister bought the first Glee album and I burned it the minute she opened it. I would play this Heart gem over and over. Chenoweth rules and I hope she guest-stars again in the future.

Yaz-“Situation” Ah, some 80s synth-pop. Surprise!

*Side note: There are TVs in the workout room and one of them was tuned into CMT. There were videos, then I noticed a movie was starting. I was praying for Footloose, but it was something even better. The ORIGINAL The Karate Kid. Don’t you feel grave disappointment when you see it’s on and it turns out to be that Jaden Smith/Jackie Chan bullshit? UGH!

Last but not least, t.A.T.u.-“All The Things She Said” This was my cool down song. Fake Russian lesbians, enough said.

Why The New Courtney Love (Cobain) E-Cig Commercial Matters

My title is obviously a little spirited, if not sarcastic. When I saw the TV spot for NJOY electronic cigarettes starring the latter-day Lindsay Lohan, I oohed and aahed and I flat out rejoiced. I’m not sure why I have a tiny thing for the Hole front woman, but I do. I used to have these risque’ Versace ad pics plastered to the ancient refrigerator in my ancient apartment.

I see boob! (fashionmodeldirectory.com)

I see boob! (fashionmodeldirectory.com)

Loved it (vivaversace.tumblr.com)

Loved it (vivaversace.tumblr.com)

Love (Cobain) is one of those interesting people/actresses/rock stars to observe. One minute, she espouses great intelligence and in the next, she blurts out sentence fragments. Some how all of this chaos culminates in this commercial, f-bomb, bad-assery, and everything in between.

So, is this Courtney’s comeback? Is it clever casting? Or is it someone who needs a few bucks? I would say at least two of my three speculations are true. Guess which two and you win nothing! Late April Fool’s joke. A-ha! An April Fool’s joke! Take that Carrie Fisher and Stephen Dorff!

 

 

 

The Women’s Health Magazine List That Finally Made Me Cringe

For the past year or so, I’ve been mysteriously subscribed to Women’s Health magazine. As in, I never voluntarily subscribed to it, but after all this time, I haven’t really minded. I’m not paying the bill…or am I? The aim of the magazine is to make women feel empowered in all areas of their lives, i.e. diet/recipes, exercise, health & beauty, and love & sex. Oh boy. I just received the April issue with Smash star Katharine McPhee on the cover and honestly, I’m able to tolerate her these days.

A little hotness if you please.

A little hotness if you please.

A women’s magazine is supposed to have the usual “how to” stuff, but one sex-related list in this particular issue made me cringe, shiver, and almost roll my eyes into the back of my head.

“The Top 10 Tracks to Play During Sex” Oh dear God! At first, I glanced at it until I read through the list. Now I’m not sure who came up with this list; the only supporting info is that music service Spotify “found its users were 40 percent more likely to be turned on by songs more than another’s touch or feel”. Really? Personally, a lady’s touch and feel will always work 80-100 percent of the time for me. Also, I don’t think I’ve ever “done it” with the aid of music. Now with the aid of TV, yes, but only because it just happened to be on. I can only remember one time during a make-out session, some Ani DiFranco was playing (yes, I’m a stereotype!) and I did like it. Okay, maybe this getting a little TMI.

Anyways, here’s the list and I have to warn you, just reading the titles may make your libido disappear completely and for that, I apologize.

1. Any song from the Dirty Dancing soundtrack Not a terrible choice, because we all know that one scene with where Baby and Johnny finally do it, “Cry to Me” by Solomon Burke is playing, but guess what? It’s NOT on the original release. It didn’t make the cut until the 2oth anniversary edition which is lame. I just don’t know if I would want to get it on to all the other slow jams like “In The Still of the Night” or “She’s Like the Wind” UGH! Strange choice.

2. Marvin Gaye, “Sexual Healing” Duh! Again, not my cup of tea, but the late great Gaye would want you to work one out.

3. Ravel, “Bolero” This is the only classical offering on the list and it’s another strange one. I think of one thing when I hear “Bolero”, Torvill and Dean at the ’84 Winter Olympics. Not sexy.

4. Berlin, “Take My Breath Away” Yes, this one I’ll accept as a mood-inducer. It’s the synthesizer. Hey, it worked in Top Gun.

5. Any song performed by Barry White Cop out. Now a woman with a deep voice? Maybe.

6. Marvin Gaye, “Let’s Get It On” Too obvious.

7. The Righteous Brothers, “Unchained Melody” CRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINGE!

WARNING! The train really goes off the tracks with two of the last three.

8. Celine Dion, “My Heart Will Go On” Cringe, question mark, why God?, and do people really do it to Celine??? I can think of better Celine tracks than this to achieve pleasure. Oh, that was a misprint. I meant achieve insanity. (I do love her though)

9. Serge Gainsbourg, “Je T’Aime Moi Non” Say what? Wait! This is actually more like it. French is the language love, right? Personally, this one is better.

Finally at 10. Whitney Houston, “I Will Always Love You” Let her rest in peace. And why not Dolly Parton’s original version?!? Sorry, but both are mood killers.

Way to go Women’s Health, but please, keep putting out the lovely covers (wink!).

 

 

 

The Dream Of The 2000s Will Live Again in 2013

Who knew the new year would start off with such huge, and I do mean HUGE, music news? In case you haven’t heard, both Justin Timberlake AND Destiny’s Child will release new music in the very, very near future. Both acts announced the news on the same day, what are the odds?

Here’s the tweet from Team Bey:

Now since Beyonce’ is performing at halftime at the Super Bowl in a couple of weeks, the speculation that she will reunite with Kelly Rowland and Michelle Williams is rampant, and I pray it happens. Plus she also will be performing at the Inauguration, she has an HBO documentary due next month, and of course she is working on her next album, her first since her daughter Blue was born. Here’s the cover for the new cd, which will be in stores soon, January 29th to be exact. The trio’s first single in eight years and the only new song on the new compilation, “Nuclear” was produced Pharrell Williams and the release date has not been revealed.

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amazon.com/beyonceonline.com

Got it? Good. Now onto what I consider the bigger news, Justin Timberlake, with Timbaland’s help, will be putting out new music for the first time in almost seven years at midnight this coming Sunday. There’s a countdown clock on his website, and here’s the teaser video, complete with some dramatic yet subtle JT narration, no music. DRAT!

Are you ready? I am, and it better be “Jumpin’ Jumpin” and “SexyBack”! YES!

 

Hoppa What The Hell?!? And John Travolta And Olivia Newton-John Give Us With Their First Christmas Video

Wooly worms? (amazon.com)

Wooly worms? (amazon.com)

December 5th, 2012 will go down as the day not one, but TWO bad videos went viral. First up, some high school students decided to capitalize on the seizure-inducing “Gangham Style” craze by creating the most, well, I’m not sure there are words to describe how bad this is. The irony? It was posted by a student who “hates” his school and he wanted to show the world just how bad and lame his school is. Joke or not, I would say mission accomplished….witness the bad singing and even worse dancing that is “Spartan High School Style”…hey, at least they have a bitchin’ Mac lab.

As soon as I was compelled to bleach my eyes out and poke holes in my ears, I found ANOTHER odd creation. This week saw the release of This Christmas a holiday album from old pals John Travolta and Olivia Newton-John. If the album cover isn’t scary enough, the duo has premiered their first video for the only original track from the album, “I Think You Might Like It”. The clip has been described by several outlets as “Grease-inspired”, okay, I’ll sort of buy that. The song was written by John Farrar, who wrote “Hopelessly Devoted to You”, “You’re the One That I Want”, you see where I’m going here? Unfortunately, I don’t think this track will catch fire quite like the Grease hits, but God bless him for trying. You’ll see cameos from: Travolta’s wife Kelly Preston and kids, his plane, and I don’t think ONJ had any special guests, which isn’t fair. And I think the quality of dancing here is just a shade above the kids of “Spartan High”…

On the upside, proceeds from This Christmas will go to ONJ’s charity, The Olivia Newton-John Cancer and Wellness Centre, and they will also go to Travolta’s charity, the Jett Travolta Foundation.

Happy Holidays!