Project Runway All-Stars: Episode 1 (Seriously?)

I’m really not sure how I feel about this new edition of All-Stars. Don’t get me wrong, there are some great competitors: Mondo Guerra returns hopefully to win after being screwed over by that bitch Gretchen Jones, Austin Scarlett and his mustache, Rami Koshou (another runner-up), and season 2 darling Kara Janx. Those are the ones to watch. The rest are just filler.
 First of all, Michael Costello got way too much camera time; he’ll be gone soon. Although he did make a good point, he and Rami are “drapers” so Costello sees him as his main competition. Sweet P declared Janx to be her main competition which is totally random, because Sweet P doesn’t have a chance to win. Also back are fellow season competitors, Jerell Scott (good) and Kenley Collins (bad!!!), her voice is annoying as ever. The spitter Elisa Jimenez is back, but she says her saliva is a “blessing mark” and that people pay her to do this. Someone needs to tell her spitting is a form of assault and it is so not fashionable. Anthony Williams is there for nothing but his sassy comments. He said he can accept Jimenez because his grandmother was committed to a mental hospital, zing! 
Aside from the designers, the biggest changes, which are the host and judges may scare away viewers. Supermodel Angela Lindvall slips into the Heidi Klum role and she’s very boring. The new Tim Gunn is Marie Claire Editor-In-Chief Joanna Coles, she’s not bad, but Gunn is always a delight to watch. To be fair, Gunn has moved on to a new project, ABC’s newest foray into the daytime talk show world, The Revolution, which will begin airing January 16th. It’s a life change show, and it will be interesting to see how it fairs. Lastly, there are new judges, Marchesa co-founder Georgina Chapman and designer Isaac Mizrahi. Mizrahi is catty, but not as catty as Michael Kors, fail! Chapman is a little better to look at than Nina Garcia, but she won’t be as catty either. Another change? No individual challenge winner gets immunity, so this will make the show go by faster. The prize package for the winner is the biggest ever, $500,000 which includes a cash prize of $100,000, a year-long guest editor position at Marie Claire, various sewing equipment, $100,000 from HP, and the winner will get his/her own boutique at Nieman Marcus plus he/she will get to sell his/her designs on Nieman Marcus’ website. So the ante has been upped considerably, sorry Michael Costello. Oh, I almost forgot, another change, the designers’ workspace is no longer at Parsons, although the school will still host the runway shows. It’s all too different. Here’s another reason this season will be way too different, one of the guest judges?
 Miss Piggy, need I say more…
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Project Runway, Season 9 Finale Part 1

Well, before we start, an important news flash, it was reported today that the premiere of Project Runway All-Stars has been delayed and it will now air sometime in 2012.  No reason has been given and next in line to air is Project Accessory which debuts next Thursday night after the part two of the Project Runway finale.  So I’m a little bummed but I’m also a little relieved; I’ll get a nice long PR break for a couple of months.  I’m just scared that when All-Stars ends, a new season of the regular show will kick in.  Simmer down now!  (Update: the Cardinals just lost Game 2, but it’s cool…I will go on..)
-Heidi makes a funky smiling gesture…don’t want to see that again…only 3 go on to Fashion Week yada-yada-yada…$9,000 to create a 10 look collection…and here’s the Gunn…the home visits, I can’t wait!…packing up to go leave montage…zzzzzzz
-“3 weeks later”…Gunn goes to Kimberly’s first…what a cute blue studio!…Kimberly’s inspiration is Brooklyn then and now, cool concept…”Wow them!”…let’s eat!, oh wait, drink!…Kimberly is inspired by her late mother….she wants to be the first African-American winner…we’ll see…
-Trinidad????…visit to Anya…and Tim is wearing the same suit…one of Anya’s brothers is named “Yves”…fate?…more alcohol!…Tabago, Trinidad’s sister island, is Anya’s inspiration…all she has to show Tim is fabric, no clothes???…are we surprised?…D’oh!  Anya “hasn’t been able to draw a new shape”…huh?…and Tim reminds her she can’t have any help, hmmmm?…
-Back to NYC to check in with Viktor…Tim loves his gray suits!…Viktor’s inspiration is Mexico…man, all of these designers have suffered a major loss…so sad…Tim “Knock their effing socks off!”…we meet Viktor’s boyfriend David, awww!…beverage of choice is water…Tim moves onto Queens to check in with Josh…(dark suit this time)…we meet Josh’s sister…”sports!?!?”…he had a lot of “track and field scholarship” offers…well…Josh is also lagging behind in garment creation…crazy prints!…”sherbert-y”…he’s giving Tim fits…”where’s the sex??, this looks like ‘Farmer in the Dell'”…oh boy…
-Well, normal routine, the designers are all back in NYC for Mercedez-Benz Fashion Week…I must say, the penthouse they are staying in is the best looking I’ve seen on the show; big outdoor space…champagne bitches!…
-And the garments are revealed…let the judgement begin…Final challenge, create a 3-look mini collection…Viktor has the strongest pieces…Anya’s are too basic…Josh is having a mini-meltdown…Kimberly needs cohesion…no wow factor with Anya, and she’s losing her confidence…
-Everyone but Viktor is tweaking their collections…if I had to bet right now, and I don’t know the outcome; I stayed off Twitter and I focused on the ballgame…I would bet either Josh or Anya doesn’t make it to Fashion Week…we’ll see…Anya is frantically sewing…Kimberly is switching things up…aww, Viktor used the term “fierce”…
-Runway show…no guest judge…Viktor: lots of different textures, pretty fierce…Anya: too safe, not cohesive enough…Kimberly: oh, not as good as I thought it would be, and the cohesion is a little off…Josh: not terrible, a little wacky, and he held back on the crazy prints…
-First up, Anya…Nina and Heidi are sold on her dress, they hate the bathing suit and the gown, “unfinished” Michael-“it looks tortured”…styling is too old…she hasn’t fully embraced her roots…Kimberly…Michael likes it, too many accessories…”club foot?”, Heidi hates the “bubble butt” skirt, I agree…maybe she didn’t make the right choices…Viktor…who knew styling would be such a sticking point?…Heidi tries on Viktor’s jacket…he’s too “tricky”, he needs to edit big time…Josh…again, the judges are harping on styling…ooh, the back of Josh’s gown, not good!…edit!…
-So who’s out?…it’s a toss-up with the exception of Viktor…Josh makes it!!!!  Viktor, yep! Damn, I hope they don’t pull the “we’re going with all 4 after all” crap!…
AUF’ED: NO ONE!!!!…I knew it!…I hate when they do this…GRRRRRR!…Josh is pissed!
*Next week: Finale Part Deux*

Project Runway, Season 9 Episode 10 (I’ll miss Adam)

All right, so I still haven’t figured out what’s up with my DVR, so let’s do this..
-Girls reflect on last elimination…Viktor has won twice (“the game is on bitches!”)…He’s worried about “people getting nasty,” as he should…
-“look to the past” as in the 1970s as you might guess from my first image…winning design will be sold on piperlime.com…so the 70s will be big this fall????…who knew?
-I’m picturing a lot of ugly up in this place!…Tim-“create sophisticated, NOT retro (designs)”  Bert may have an advantage this week, he’s an old queen…why not?…Josh is lost, Kimberly is picturing “a sexy secretary” in honor of her mother, okay…LK is going for a maxi-skirt…Anthony Ryan likes separates…off to MOOD!
-Anya loses her money!!!!…this is where she might falter…I’m guessing she will have to use muslin…she can see if any of the designers have money left, but muslin it is…
**Hey, she could have bought a couple of cases of Billy Beer with 11 bucks!**
-I know what’s happening with my DVR…I’m recording The X-Factor and this, luckily this is the last week for the audition shows,  okay, back to PR.
-The budget for the challenge: $100…yes, 11 dollars is all Anthony Ryan has left to give Anya, she gets some fabric and a few buttons…pretty pitiful but she did give away fabric last week…so this will be Anya’s challenge to lose…
-All of the other designers are trying to pitch in and throw some fabric Anya’s way, except Viktor (“it’s still a competition.”) and he’s right…I’m seeing lots of platforms and wedges…Bert did marketing for Halston, who was one of THE designers of the 70s…
-Josh wants to go for the “glam 70s” but he has to restrain himself for the sake of marketability….LK loves vintage…Viktor is suspicious of Josh…Anya is trying to dye her muslin, this is going to be so sad…Kimberly is going for pants…the three girls have made a pact that they will tell each other if the other girl is in trouble…Viktor is trying to spoil their plans…Bert, “(I got my Halston job) in the balcony, 3rd row (at Studio 54)”…oh Bert!…Josh is copying Viktor, but he believes his pieces are better…
**Um, this is what went on in the balcony and EVERYWHERE ELSE at Studio 54, oh yeah, and lots of sex!**
-Still not sure about this “Project Accessory” show…I’m sure Anya could sew something fab, but the colors will be really bad…Tim, the designers have to make a 2nd look on a $50 budget; could Anya recover?…the designers decide Anya should pin her money to her shirt!, humiliating!…she’s going for silk…that’s fairly 70s…
-Tim is checking in…it seems there could be a lot of big, full skirts and pants…LK “Bert is making ‘Roller Barbie’ from the 70s”…Viktor’s is a safari look???…that needs a print!…
-Did I hear “bell sleeve”?…Josh is going for it…he’s got some crazy colors, probably more 80s than 70s…Tim tells LK Nina is narrowing in on her taste level..
**Not sure we’ll see anything like these, but gotta love those 70s pattern books!**
-LK is still stewing over Nina…some of these I fear will be gaudy 70s no inspired 70s…Anya’s pants are way too wide…I think Olivier would have had a heart attack if he had made it through to this week, there’s a lot of finishing to do…Anya is having a breakdown…
-Bert to the Garnier stylists “She’s going to be Shelley Hack.”…huh?…why the poor man’s Charlie’s Angel????…last minute sewing…Kimberly has to sew in her model…Anya has 1 minute to sew…
**That’s Shelley on the right, purple camel toe and all!**
-Runway time!…Anya looks like she has dreamcatchers for earrings…guest judge?…Olivia Palermo (some Piperlime chick)…
-Kimberly: not bad, 2nd look, nice…AR: kind of gaudy, 2nd look, very 70s…Bert: huh?, 2nd look, too simple!!!!…LK: I’m not sure I would have put those patterns together, 2nd look, color choice not great…Josh: loud, too 80s, 2nd look, better, not great…Anya: not bad for 11 bucks, 2nd look, nice print…Viktor: could be seen as boring, 2nd look, not sure…
-Kimberly is safe, the rest are good or bad…
-Love the old twin women/flu shot Walgreen’s commercial!…I really do need to get one this year……thinking out loud…
-Nina is going right after LK, bad print combination, duh!…Michael hates Viktor’s safari jacket, it’s “killing the sex!”…nonetheless, the judges are impressed…Josh, Michael screams at the bottom of Josh’s pants “1870s in France”…Heidi “it’s one of the worst outfits I’ve seen in a long time”…oh wow…Josh went out over the top and he may go out over the top, Nina “Hor-ren-dous!”…Anya, judges are impressed with her unintentional thriftiness…Nina loves the print on her dress, it looks “expensive”…Anthony Ryan took “the music and the weed-smoking” from the 70s…mmmkay…Nina, “hippy-dippy and not in a good way..”…Michael just said “pass the pipe”…Heidi utters “schmatta!”…Nina “they look like they are in a cult!”…Bert’s hot pants, too short…yeah, Bert’s dress is good…
-Josh is confused with the challenge and he storms out of the stew room…This movie Anonymous looks awesome…finally, the truth about Will Shakespeare…
-All right, will it be Josh, LK, or Anthony Ryan leaving?….ANYA WINS!!!!…sweet!…safe: Bert will also get his dress produced by Piperlime…okay…Viktor is safe…LK is safe?
-AUF’ed: ANTHONY RYAN????…ooh, I’m a little surprised…
**Next week: Birds???? and head to head competition…oh boy…
And I leave you with this:
Good night!

Project Runway, Season 9 Episode 8…(Bell Sleeves!)

Here we are again and I’m already losing my mind over the new TV season, next week will be busy!…tonight’s episode involves men helping out the designers for help designing for their “significant others” but I bet they are all women, oh well…
 -Atlas, there are now 9 left, Bryce is the only one hasn’t won a main challenge…Josh’s tank top is back…the girls?…Anya is just lucky, that’s all there is to it…Burt writes “It’s Raining Men” on the chalkboard, cheers for originality…
-And here come the dudes…a few of designers are like “I’ve done menswear” Josh says it…Anya has immunity, no more immunity after this challenge…Olivier has to choose a fat guy; the terror in his eyes…
-Tim reveals the twist, but the guys have to guide the designers, it could be tricky…the designers are only provided with the women’s sizes…I think the producers chose rightfully chose guys who have no clue about their ladies…Bert’s guy “she’s a hot piece of tushy!”…Josh’s Josh wants something “simple”…Much to Bryce’s dismay, Jovan’s girl likes pink…Anthony Ryan has the mountain man, ooh girl!…Olivier, “I don’t like women having boobs”, really?…and the guys accompany the gang to Mood…Laura Kathleen is one of 3 girls left!…GO BIG RED!…Olivier asks Tim about breasts…tee-hee! “I have no experience” oh the stereotypes tonight.
(Uh, huh-huh, hey baby!, uh huh-huh)
-Style lines come before fabric, I didn’t know that…Bert’s guy is a total boob-hound!…hilarious!…oh God, he does a motorboat on the dress form…and he’s still talking about boobs…here come the ladies…LK’s lady wants to be Barbie, errrr?…Okay boob guy’s lady, I don’t see anything spectacular…I mean they’re a healthy C cup…ooh, a waifish new wave girl?…Brian is the mountain man’s name, AR is designing a dress that looks like one she lost in an airport, nice story….
-Josh’s Josh girl is wanting simple…uh oh…Olivier’s couple, oh dear, he wants quiet time…a bell sleeve??????????….he’s never worked with clients before…already looking like he’ll be in the bottom 3…Janine and Jovan, how cute…Bryce got PINK-pink, he’s dyeing it…the scenes of the designers eating are intriguing..Bryce misses his boyfriend, awww!…Bryce will either win or go home tonight…nice editing…
 (Bell sleeve realness!)
-Anya and LK in bed???…Josh in shorts!…I’m sure sleep shorts…Viktor thinks Bryce’s pink “looks like anti-diarrhea medicine”…ouch!…I don’t think Pepto is that pink…he wants to use the one color for the whole dress…Olivier can’t take the aggression, butch up sweetie!…oh and these ladies will be walking the runway…Viktor has the indie girl, she looks super cute…Anya has a lot of editing to do…Bert seems to really be having fun, but the hating continues, LK “is he trying to channel Dior?”…this will be Josh’s most subdued look to date…Tim thinks his lady has “firm” breasts…funny stuff…Bryce is definitely in trouble…Josh is wearing some type of uptown Mossy Oak camo tee…
(Barbie, the brunette?)
-And here’s where the breakdowns begin…that’s the second time a dress form has fallen this season; I never recall seeing it happen in the last 9 years…Lots of last-minute sewing happening…Olivier’s lady is having major wedgie issues and he’s had enough…Kimberly’s is oh my God wrong!…so there’s your bottom 3: Kimberly, Olivier, and Bryce…we’ll see…Olivier is so out of sorts, he misses part of his hair/make-up time…he’s so over his clients…Tim, “today I’m playing the role of a large, stinging mallet!”…huh?…Olivier and Kimberly told to stop sewing on their way to the runway…
(Project Accessory???? WTF?)
-Runway time…guest judge: Malin Akerman (love her!)….LK: good color, I don’t like the fabric, Anthony Ryan: maybe boring, Bert: the fit is a little off, it’s nice, Josh: boring, but good-looking, Bryce: PINK! and the fit could be better, Kimberly: curvacious!, don’t know, Olivier: I can’t tell how the pants are fitting, who knows?, Anya: I don’t like the sleeve, should have left it off, Viktor: Love it!, great colors…Kimberly, Olivier, and LK are safe…oops!…
-Bert, Bryce, and Anthony Ryan are on the bottom…I say Viktor wins…Anya and Josh are on top as well…Geez, why does this show have to be an hour and half now????…I’m exhausted, but it’s almost the end…Michael Kors’ zingers for the bottom 3…
(Bryce) “it looks like you’re going to a buffet table and you’re stuffing a lamb chop in one pocket and a beer bottle in the other pocket…it looks like she slept in the car on the way to the wedding”
(Anthony Ryan) “it almost looks like superhero ice skater”
-Those sucked!…lots of “old lady” comments tonight…I think they give Anya way too much credit, but she could win the whole thing…
-Verdict…Josh wins!?!?, odd…he does a back hand spring!…safe: Bert
Auf’ed: BRYCE (you see!, the power of editing rules again!)
*Next week: Another team challenge…the Sheepdogs????…ADAM LAMBERT IS THE GUEST JUDGE BITCHES!!!!! YES!

Project Runway Season 9, Episode 5 (Watching It On Time!)

Tonight’s episode includes a team challenge, a track team challenge as implied in the promo????…All I know is we’ll see Tim in jeans and sneakers…worth it!
-Each designer has his/her own tennis shoes laid out…Cecilia is still down from last week…she’s being very belligerent…”Heidi Klum for New Balance”????…
-Four teams of three and a lap around the track will determine who the captains will be…Cecilia really doesn’t give a shit…she’s trying to quit…and she does!!!!…
-The race is on…Scissor Sister Josh M. is way ahead!…OLIVIER EATS IT! Josh M-Bryce-Anthony Ryan-Viktor are the team captains…Bitter Bert finishes dead last….Olivier skins his knee, on now the paramedics are involved!…his fall wasn’t quite as bad as this…
-Olivier is still down; he’s having a panic attack…Josh M.’s painted on eyebrows look weird…Bert will be picked last…Anthony Ryan gets the pleasure of taking on the old queen…Viktor gets to pick an eliminated competitor and that competitor gets to come back to the competition…they pick Josh C/Mormon Josh, awwww…
-Challenge: design 3 looks for Heidi’s New Balance sneaker collection…Josh M. thinks Becky is “not a style icon”…Bert’s design OMG!…Tim “I’m such a nag.”
-Leather and suede…Josh C. is back!…Just for good measure:
FLOJO! May she rest in peace…
-Just for the record, I love NB!…Josh M. is telling Becky to “take a back seat” even though she has athletic wear experience…Bert is really a dick, and no one likes him…I’d say a visit to the bottom is inevitable…
-Tim and Heidi check in…Team Bryce, not looking good…Team Viktor, Tim “Auntie Em doesn’t want to get on a motorcycle” ouch!…Team AR, too chic…Team Josh M., need to rework and Becky says she’s just sewing, wrong answer…Heidi decides to extend the deadline because she’s “worried”…Scissor Sister is making Becky cry, seriously and Anya is trying to comfort her…it’s not working…
-Damn, I thought Parsons would have better bathrooms, a little run-down…Team AR is really sinking because Bert’s is too dressy for sneakers…Team Bryce is still in the weeds…this should be an interesting runway…Bert and Josh M: MEOW!…Josh “You’re closer to death than I am!” when Bert tells him to drop dead…
-RUNWAY….Team Viktor…Not terrible, not sure about Olivier’s long skirt…Team Bryce…eh…Team AR…still too dressy, and Bert’s looks the best…Team Josh M….not terrible, looks maybe the most sporty…
What was Josh M thinking with his eyebrows???
-Team AR is throwing Bert under the bus, uh huh…(crap, who’s the guest judge???)…AR’s shorts, camel toe and butt…judges agree Bert’s is presentable, LK and AR fought Bert so much, they neglected their looks…I wish they would tell Josh M. his eyebrows are over the top…Josh is taking ownership for Becky’s outfit which the judges hate…More throwing under the bus…
I searched “ill-fitting shorts” this is one that came up…
-Guest judge is Erin Wasson never heard of her…all right here we go…Heidi has a twist…Viktor is the winner, Josh M. is also a winner…but does this mean two auf’ed????…both winners’ teams are safe…Bert is safe, LK is safe, Kimberly in, Bryce in, left Danielle and Anthony Ryan…
AUF’ED–Danielle, Heidi would have auf’ed AR…he dodged a bullet…Just read a tweet Anthony Ryan had strep throat during the challenge…UGH!
*Next week–Something with kids…that’s all I got…good night!

Project Runway Season 9, Episode 3 (These Will Never Be Live!)

Tonight, a stilt walker fashion show…when you run out of ideas, why not?…and I drank one of the most disgusting beers ever tonight…bottom line, beer should never taste and smell fruity…ugh!…onto the show….
>Note: I guess Models of the Runway won’t be back…I never watched it, so no harm done.
>Fallene is still reeling from “Miss Pumpkin” last week…yeah, Heidi on the stilts, this is really ridiculous, God bless her…challenge, stilt walker fashion show…teams of two and lots of long pant sewing…
>Bert and Viktor are paired up, it won’t be good…Anthony Ryan/Laura Kathleen, Josh M/Julie, Danielle/Cecilia, Anya/Olivier, Kimberly/Becky (uh oh!), Bryce/Fallene…they both were in the bottom last week…First time ever the fashion show/runway will be outside in front of a live audience and press corps…
>Tim Gunn…”..challenge is completely thrilling!” Say what?…designers have one day and will finally be using real fabric from Mood…designs must not go below where walkers’ feet are attached to stilts…Bert is very defensive, and very know-it-all about his fashion history knowledge…how do dresses and skirts work with stilts?…
>I predict Bert/Viktor, Danielle/Cecilia, and maybe Josh M./Julie will be in the bottom…I think Viktor and Bert may scratch each other’s eyes out before it’s over…
(At least they aren’t circus freaks.)
>The Bert/Viktor drama continues…ah, the dreaded word, “strategy”…designs must be chic yet safe…Anthony Ryan/LK–long hoop skirt, hmmm?…Julie is wacky!…Becky stares a lot, Kimberly criticized her last week, and now they are paired together…
>Fallene’s color choices are really bad…Bryce is taking over their design…Josh M. always dresses like a Scissor Sister…Fallene may not actually be a designer, she is self-taught…
>Gunn!…Julie/Josh M…matador!…oh boy, yep, they will probably be in the bottom…Viktor/Bert’s is very gaudy…they are not a team…”shoulder pads are on trend for fall”????…okay…Becky/Kimberly, more gaudiness…Bryce/Fallene will be in the bottom, bad design, she can’t put a bodice together…Cecilia is ripping fabric out of Danielle’s hands…they will be in the bottom…maybe…
>Models are back for fitting, there are some hot messes!…I guess with all the focus on Fallene, she’s probably out, we’ll see…designers are up really early for the outdoor show…Bryce throws together a tube top instead of a bodice…
(Tonight’s guest judge…her ass is real, yet she doesn’t poop.)
>Anya/Olivier are in trouble too, hot mess of fabrics…Fallene decides to make a headpiece, since she didn’t make anything else…showtime!
>Tim is trying to reassure Fallene she did contribute something…is Nina Garcia “lovely”?..nah!…Josh M./Julie-ridiculous!, Bert/Viktor–uh, no…Bryce/Fallene–Black Swan gone bad…Kimberly/Becky–their model is wearing “borrowed stilts”, it looks bad…Anya/Olivier–bad fabrics…Cecilia/Danielle–crazy hair!, design not bad…Anthony/LK–this is going to win, very red…this is freaky-looking, but different…
>Olivier has immunity…he and Anya are safe…the bottom are as I predicted, except for Danielle and Cecilia…Anthony wants LK to take credit for design, weird transition…D/C had chiffon, the judges hate the hair…I hate Becky/Kimberly’s, but it’s edgy enough to win over the panel…
>Low-scorers are up…Viktor/Bert–this explanation ought to be good…curtain dress, “bad costume”…the blame game, Viktor is taking responsibility, Heidi–“Bert, you are slowly turning lobster color.”…what?…Fallene/Bryce–idea was there, not executed…Michael likes Fallene’s headpiece, Julie/Josh M.–concept is terrible, tacky…Julie won’t throw Josh under the bus, Bryce thinks he and Fallene should both go, but he wants to stay if it’s just one of them going…
>Go Big Red!…Laura Kathleen wins the challenge!…I say make the loser of this challenge walk on those stilts…well, it’s either going to be Bryce or Fallene…or Viktor…
>Auf’ed–Fallene, not a surprise…
>NEXT WEEK: They are designing for Nina, oh not cool…GASP!

Project Runway Season 9 Premiere (Live-ish)

As usual, with my past PR blogs, I will watch and type, but I will NOT time-stamp since I may not watch every episode live….I’m ready, let’s see if I can remember anyone’s name after the first five minutes.
-9 seasons?!? I can’t believe it….back in NYC! 20 designers are there, but only 16 will make it to the second the episode, sad huh?
-I don’t believe the Mormon guy/Christopher is straight, but I’ll roll with it….everyone is scurrying to get ready to be shot down by Nina and Michael, yep, they’re back too…this is essentially like the American Idol auditions, only with clothes…Heidi tries something on, I guess Bryce Black is in…
-Here’s uh, former Miss Trinidad and Tobago Anya, who says she only learned sewing “4 months ago”…huh???…Tim is “horrified”, the question is, can she execute the challenges by herself?..
-Becky Ross was in a religious cult, no really!…Why did Heidi just sing?…it evoked memories of this:
**OH JESUS, too many designers, I can’t keep up yet, though I have a feeling of who will be there…my 2 KY reps are safe, they gotta be….
-There will be MANY gay boys this season, it may or may not rule…”Nina is hot!”-Rafael (OH GOD!)
-Bert is the old guy, and we know how PR loves old guys….like Vincent…
-Okay, Bert lost his partner to AIDS and became alcoholic and he designed with Halston, wow, let me take you back to 1988, we’ll see.
-The guy who survived testicular cancer, Anthony Ryan, is okay…Jesus, I’m so behind…
^Final casting announcement time!^
I guess it will be easier if I reveal the names of those NOT making it through…David Chum, GUNNAR DEATHERAGE (OOOPS!), well there goes the KY representative out the window, damnit!, Amanda Perna, and Serena Da Conceciao, who tried out 10 years ago, well…shit!!!!…that means miss WKU, Laura Kathleen Planck better bring it!
-The designers check into the Atlas, ah memories…they keep calling Laura “Barbie” (girl, she better hang around for more than one episode, since Gunnar let me down)…
-5:00am…Tim is waking everyone up, it’s amazing how that man gets himself together at such an early hour…”a come as you are” party, they have to bring one sheet…CHEDDAR BISCUITS!
-The Parsons work room…yay!…create a design from the one sheet and whatever you are wearing…oooooh…what if someone was sleeping naked????…I don’t think the producers are THAT stupid.
-I hate to say this, but I don’t really wear pajamas…Cecilia is this season’s loose cannon loudmouth, trouble-maker, as evidence by the casting special…Miss “4 months of sewing” Ayna may have trouble…
(The Cat’s Pajamas, get it?)
-Oh I just noticed, they are all wearing scrubs…Aynade wants to make pants, because, she’s never made pants before, oh boy…The Gunn is here to check on the first-year residents…
-Feathers? Tim is not impressed with Anthony Ryan’s “pubic patch”…a clown puking rainbows tee serves as part of Fallene’s…adorable.
-Rafael has not draped on his form, he wants to see his ideas on an live person…I wasn’t sure he would make it through…picture break….
(Al is shocked Ayna has only been sewing 4 months!)
-I just saw Bryce is wearing hot pink scrubs, lucky!…Models arrive…I may or may not like Bert, who said the famous “I’m not here to make friends” line in the promo….
-I think this challenge would have been more interesting if the designers had to design their own outfits, oh well.
-The freak-outs have begun!…(make-up/hair montage)…Runway time, lots of unfinished garments coming up…
(How do you like my PUH-jamas?)
-I love Michael Kors, I don’t love Nina Garcia, this has been well-established…guest judge? Christina Ricci.
-Okay, the runway is too crowded this week to assess….if I see something ugly, I’ll note….Anya’s is not terrible; I’m sure there are some flaws…Love Julie’s, the skater chick!…Anthony Ryan’s is all wrong…Rafael, UGLY…Bert, not bad, Mormon Josh…too basic…
-Same thing with who’s safe and who’s not, too many people, too little time!
Judgement….Anthony Ryan…colorblind?…trimmings aka pubic area…Rafael…yeah, not too good…”Flintstone disco patch”-Michael Kors…Julie…they are not liking it…even Christina…”sewing learning curve”????…odd pocket…Anya…never sewed silk before, or ANYTHING!…she’s wowing them, I think that whole, “I can’t sew” thing is a crock!…Bert…he’s done well with checkered boxer shorts…styling is a problem…Josh…fitting issues…he’s blaming the other designers for not telling him “it didn’t look good”…huh???…
-The winner? Halston’s old buddy Bert…Safe? Anya, Anthony Ryan, Julie, Josh,
-Auf’ed…Rafael or…
Until next time….

They (Project Runway) Keep Pulling Me Back In!…

I know I declared not too long ago I would no longer be blogging about Project Runway and this post is NOT a jumping off point to start a regular recap every week again, hell the finale is just around the corner.  Instead, I’ll explain how I was pulled back in by the fashion reality show monster.  Thursdays, now, are a busy TV night for me and it just so happens, two other shows I watch both start at 8pm Central–The Office and Grey’s Anatomy.  Luckily, this new Project Runway season began a few weeks before the new TV season, so I didn’t feel too guilty or resentful.  I think it’s interesting how the show is now been stretched for the first time to an hour and a half; apparently Models of the Runway couldn’t keep the auidence wanting more; I never watched it.  And really nothing has changed, only now, you see the top and bottom designers bitching in a stew room before finding who is “auf’ed”.  We are also given a smattering of comments from the designers as the runway show is in progress, eh.  Oh, and we see the Project Runway kitchen!!!!  Compelling.
Easily, this season’s villian is 28-year-old Gretchen Jones
Oh, another Feist look-a-like.  I know every season we see someone who has an answer, a comment, or a criticism for his/her fellow designers, but Gretchen has certainly taken the cake and she has not shut up since day one.  Her overwhelming confidence is oddly mixed with a fake happy personality, which is irritating and is sickening to watch.  And yes, she’s won a challenge, but she’s NOT the front-runner like she thought she would be.  In fact, next week, one of her quotes goes along the lines of “I don’t want to be here anymore”, bitch, please!  You’ve annoyed us this long, why stop now????
The front-runner is someone who totally deserves it and his personality is quiet and is very calm:
32-year-old Mondo Guerra is nerdy, yet totally fabulous.  One of his fashion icons? Pee-Wee Herman!!!  He’s the kind of competitor we all root for and I’m hoping he stays calm and he can win.  He’s had his doubts, which all the designers do, not to mention his big confession last week he has been HIV-positive for ten years; it broke my heart.  He has much to gain, as much to as he has to lose, maybe even his life.  It’s pure poetry, but he’s a great designer and he’s made the show fun again for me.  Don’t get me wrong, I still love Tim Gunn, Heidi, and the judges…well, I still don’t like Nina…
So, thanks Project Runway, I’m back!

BAFFLED!

It appears my nightmares may become more vivid…
Well, I don’t how this got by me, but season 8 of Project Runway premieres July 29th at 9pm E on Lifetime…as you recall, I’ve renounced my blogging of the show, because IT HAS TO STOP!…Don’t get me wrong, reality competition shows can go on for years, i.e. Survivor, The Biggest Loser, Big Brother, Top Chef, however, Project Runway has lost its original wow factor!…the main reason? moving the show from Bravo to Lifetime…granted, there was a lengthy legal battle to get season 6 on the air after it sat on the shelf for several months…and airing season 6 needed to happen, but that’s where it should have ended…but you can’t end a show on a sour note, thus Lifetime is prolonging the torture…even the designs last season were very lackluster…I was hoping at least the fashion part of the show would stay intact, nope!…I’ve already aired my grievances on how the designers themselves have become a cliche’, from your average-looking, father of two to an over-the-top screaming queen…I use the same comparison for the female designers, just switch pronouns…and when you get tired of Tim that’s a bad sign…he’s still great as a mentor and he’s good for the occasional catty one-liner, but even he’s not wowing anymore…don’t even get me started on Heidi and Nina…I still love Michael Kors as a judge…but I just can’t commit to watching it much anymore…UGH!

Project Runway: Finale, Part One…

I would rather be relaxing right now, but I swore to see this season of Project Runway to the end…so here we are, part one of the season finale, shot at the beginning of 2009…

9:01pm: Designers will get $9,000 for materials for 12-look collection…I just saw Heidi and Tim in the Project Runway silhouette bumping and grinding…Oh wow!…another fail for Lifetime…

9:03pm: Tim checks in on Carol Hannah first…her inspiration?…Duke University’s campus…she made pants! which she did not do in the course of the competition…as far as personality, she’s my favorite…Tim is going to make biscuits, in his suit!!!, her family is adorable…

9:07pm: Next, Irina, this season’s mega-bitch…yawn!…her collection, “a thank you to New York”…she’s had some great pieces; she’s just overconfident to the hilt…Tim gets to meet Irina’s family, she immigrated from the Republic of Georgia…Tim–“{no matter the outcome} Irina is already a winner”…her father hasn’t always been supportive…

9:17pm: Last, Althea…I’ll always love Tim Gunn–“Eegads!”…she is inspired by strong women in sci-fi movies…too costumey and too matronly…she has surprised me more than anyone, well, besides Carol Hannah…seeing all this snow is refreshing, but God I hope we don’t see another ice storm…Ohio to Bryant Park…

9:22pm: Irina will NOT be able to use the Coney Island tee shirts in her collection, the images are trademarked…she can use her own images…Althea and Irina are reunited…weakest rivalry ever…the tension builds, again, yawn!…

(Can’t wait to see NINE!)

9:30pm: Carol Hannah has not showed…a contagious stomach virus!…Heidi sends the girls champagne…it’s the first time someone has been sick before anything on the show…Carol Hannah’s collection is there…Irina pronounces it Carol “Honnah”…it gets on my nerves…

9:34pm: Tim checks the progress of all the collections…Carol Hannah is there now, poor thing…Tim on one of Althea’s pieces, “Hillary Clinton”…the whole “you copied me” controversy rolls on…boring!…CH’s simplicity may rule the day…what happened with Irina’s t-shirts???…she has a lot of black, blah!…she designed shirts around what she was originally going to use….

(OOOh, it’s almost time for Fa-La-La-La-Lifetime!)

9:43pm: Model casting…zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…. Althea is a giant lady!…Nina and Michael show up…I guess they owe it to the designers since they haven’t been around a lot this season…”tips and pointers”…Mom thinks Nina is not as “hard-looking” this season…LOL!…the all-black collection may not work…Irina disagrees…

9:47pm: I just remembered, these last two episodes are very boring, at least until the runway show…each designer’s model is trying on the collections…oh, it’s Heidi!…whoopee!…”one more surprise”

9:53pm: Designers have to create one more look…wow, I haven’t seen that before…and bring back the recently auf’d designers to help…snoozefest!…Althea picks Logan, Irina picks Gordana, CH gets Christopher…Mood NYC, good to see you again…

9:57pm: I can’t believe Irina picked Gordana, I didn’t think they got along this season…Carol Hannah is having a relapse!!!…drama!

Finale: CH is still not well:(…can’t wait ’til this bitch is over!

G’night!