iPod Shuffle At The Gym

(walking.about.com)

(walking.about.com)

First of all, that’s not me obviously. In fact the description of this picture states that you shouldn’t hold on to the side rails on a treadmill. I don’t know why, I think they are there for you to hold on to in starting and in stopping the apparatus. Most treadmills have the bars you hold on to to monitor your heart rate. It’s like you are going on a fun-filled ride to nowhere. Okay, enough of this technical jargon.

Recently, I joined the local YMCA, and I would say it’s one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. I started out going to Zumba classes with some co-workers, and I finally gave in and I joined up, because I love a treadmill. As of now, I’m only interested in cardio. Unfortunately, scheduling issues have limited my Zumba visits, but I intend to try and go back when I can. Like all the young kids today, I like to listen to music when I walk. If it were up to me, I would jump off the treadmill and do a dance break down when a good tune pops up, however, I have to maintain some silent and sweaty dignity.

I love shuffling my iPod, because it’s like a mini birthday present, it could be good or it could be disappointing. Most of time, I will skip a lot of songs because I like upbeat tunes when I walk. Yes, I know I can create a playlist just for these occasions, but I like a game of chance while walking 3.5 mph. Normally, when I begin, I see what song I left off with and today, it was good one, Scandal’s “The Warrior”, a song I love like one of my imaginary children, but it only had a few seconds left so I started fresh.

Okay, after a few skips, I started with…

Cher-“This is a Different Kind of Love Song” from her last album Living Proof. Cher’s new album will be released later this year and damnit, it better be good! It boasts collaborations with P!nk, Lady GaGa, Jake Shears from Scissor Sisters, and her Burlesque co-star Christina Aguliera. Cher just makes me smile, and if you don’t already follow her on Twitter, do it now stupid!

Prince-“When Doves Cry”, a classic and I rarely embrace the Purple One anymore. See? Nice surprise.

Now next, I rarely ever let a slow song ride, but today, I made one exception.

Celine Dion-“Where Does my Heart Beat Now” Ironic? I did skip “It’s All Coming Back to Me Now” because I had to get the blood pumping again…

Scissor Sisters-“Fire With Fire” I have almost every SS album on my iPod; I will never understand why they can’t catch on with radio airplay and album sales. They are on my concert bucket list for sure.

I skipped a bunch after SS, including two more of their songs, but I love the next SS song that came up which is “Only the Horses” from their latest album Magic Hour. Next? I skipped more SS songs. I don’t know why my iPod lumps certain artists together.

Calvin Harris feat. Rihanna-“We Found Love” Yep, finally a mainstream hit, and this is as aerobic as you can get.

After more skips, I landed on Adam Lambert-“Sleepwalker” What the hell happened to one of my favorite American Idol darlings? He’s still awesome, but he needs a tune and an album to jump start his career again. Next?

Cher-“Love and Understanding” HELL YES! MORE CHER! I love this one from her early 90s stuff. Was it a big hit? No, but true fans can appreciate it and its ridiculous dancer-laden video.

Missy Elliot feat. Ciara and Timbaland-“Lose Control” Here’s another artist I will never skip on my iPod. Her beats are the best and I wish she would make a big comeback, I miss her.

Glee Cast (Kristin Chenoweth and Matthew Morrison)-“Alone” I’m still mystified by the fact that FOX has ordered two more seasons of Glee. It just doesn’t have that spark that it had in the first season. My sister bought the first Glee album and I burned it the minute she opened it. I would play this Heart gem over and over. Chenoweth rules and I hope she guest-stars again in the future.

Yaz-“Situation” Ah, some 80s synth-pop. Surprise!

*Side note: There are TVs in the workout room and one of them was tuned into CMT. There were videos, then I noticed a movie was starting. I was praying for Footloose, but it was something even better. The ORIGINAL The Karate Kid. Don’t you feel grave disappointment when you see it’s on and it turns out to be that Jaden Smith/Jackie Chan bullshit? UGH!

Last but not least, t.A.T.u.-“All The Things She Said” This was my cool down song. Fake Russian lesbians, enough said.

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The Women’s Health Magazine List That Finally Made Me Cringe

For the past year or so, I’ve been mysteriously subscribed to Women’s Health magazine. As in, I never voluntarily subscribed to it, but after all this time, I haven’t really minded. I’m not paying the bill…or am I? The aim of the magazine is to make women feel empowered in all areas of their lives, i.e. diet/recipes, exercise, health & beauty, and love & sex. Oh boy. I just received the April issue with Smash star Katharine McPhee on the cover and honestly, I’m able to tolerate her these days.

A little hotness if you please.

A little hotness if you please.

A women’s magazine is supposed to have the usual “how to” stuff, but one sex-related list in this particular issue made me cringe, shiver, and almost roll my eyes into the back of my head.

“The Top 10 Tracks to Play During Sex” Oh dear God! At first, I glanced at it until I read through the list. Now I’m not sure who came up with this list; the only supporting info is that music service Spotify “found its users were 40 percent more likely to be turned on by songs more than another’s touch or feel”. Really? Personally, a lady’s touch and feel will always work 80-100 percent of the time for me. Also, I don’t think I’ve ever “done it” with the aid of music. Now with the aid of TV, yes, but only because it just happened to be on. I can only remember one time during a make-out session, some Ani DiFranco was playing (yes, I’m a stereotype!) and I did like it. Okay, maybe this getting a little TMI.

Anyways, here’s the list and I have to warn you, just reading the titles may make your libido disappear completely and for that, I apologize.

1. Any song from the Dirty Dancing soundtrack Not a terrible choice, because we all know that one scene with where Baby and Johnny finally do it, “Cry to Me” by Solomon Burke is playing, but guess what? It’s NOT on the original release. It didn’t make the cut until the 2oth anniversary edition which is lame. I just don’t know if I would want to get it on to all the other slow jams like “In The Still of the Night” or “She’s Like the Wind” UGH! Strange choice.

2. Marvin Gaye, “Sexual Healing” Duh! Again, not my cup of tea, but the late great Gaye would want you to work one out.

3. Ravel, “Bolero” This is the only classical offering on the list and it’s another strange one. I think of one thing when I hear “Bolero”, Torvill and Dean at the ’84 Winter Olympics. Not sexy.

4. Berlin, “Take My Breath Away” Yes, this one I’ll accept as a mood-inducer. It’s the synthesizer. Hey, it worked in Top Gun.

5. Any song performed by Barry White Cop out. Now a woman with a deep voice? Maybe.

6. Marvin Gaye, “Let’s Get It On” Too obvious.

7. The Righteous Brothers, “Unchained Melody” CRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINGE!

WARNING! The train really goes off the tracks with two of the last three.

8. Celine Dion, “My Heart Will Go On” Cringe, question mark, why God?, and do people really do it to Celine??? I can think of better Celine tracks than this to achieve pleasure. Oh, that was a misprint. I meant achieve insanity. (I do love her though)

9. Serge Gainsbourg, “Je T’Aime Moi Non” Say what? Wait! This is actually more like it. French is the language love, right? Personally, this one is better.

Finally at 10. Whitney Houston, “I Will Always Love You” Let her rest in peace. And why not Dolly Parton’s original version?!? Sorry, but both are mood killers.

Way to go Women’s Health, but please, keep putting out the lovely covers (wink!).

 

 

 

As Expected, Steven Tyler And Jennifer Lopez Exit Idol, Randy Jackson M.I.A.

(cmtradiolive.com)

I’ll be honest, I never thought Steven Tyler or Jennifer Lopez were the best American Idol judges. Away from the show, both are talented entertainers who know when to leave. So is Idol really a sinking ship? Not necessarily, but whomever takes those judging seats will have to exceed expectations big time. The Adam Lambert story has quieted down since early this week, but I would say he’s definitely in the running for a seat whether it’s taking Randy’s place or one of the big name seats.

So, what about the Yo Dawg? His camp, if he has one, has stayed quiet on season 12 contract negotiations. I read somewhere this week that Jackson could possibly stay on the show as a mentor. Excuse me? I’m sorry but why would a someone who is not know for singing be a mentor in a SINGING competition? Come on Idol, grow a pair! Do you really want to sign another multimillion dollar paycheck over to Randy Jackson? I’m not saying that all that money has been wasted, but enough is enough.

The current names being thrown around for judges include, Mariah Carey, who missed out on a mentoring role in season one of The X-Factor USA, Mary J. Blige (eh, maybe), and Celine Dion, I like that one. Perez Hilton is once again campaigning (not sure if he’s completely serious) for a judge’s seat. Perez would be good, but I don’t think he’s a familiar enough name to certain audience age groups, aka, the older ones. I think the idea of throwing a younger artist into the mix as a judge is really the direction the producers need to go. Katy Perry would be great, but she’s extremely busy. Now if you’re telling me the producers are “considering” Miley Cyrus, back that thing up! Not a good idea. The other younger names rumored to be on the list, Nicki Minaj (wild card!) and Fergie, yes, Will.I.Am, NO!

At this point, I would like to see: Adam, maybe Jimmy Iovine, and I’m undecided on who the female judge should be. Oh wait! Shania Twain was great when she guest judged some auditions and she mentored one week, two years ago (???) However, Twain’s name has not come up so far, or I should say, yet. It wouldn’t be a complete curve ball, but it would change the game for sure.

I just pray Nigel Lythgoe’s contract is NOT renewed! Stay tuned…

Canadian Bank Notes Are Downright Loonie!

Okay, I normally wouldn’t write two posts in one day, but this story is too good not to blog about. Today, the Bank of Canada unveiled their new 20 dollar bank note (no dolla bills for the Canucks!) and it’s kind of neat.

That’s “Your Majesty” bitch!

What you see is the backside of the note. I love a good Queen Elizabeth II portrait! But what I didn’t realize is that Canada and many other countries in the world print their bank notes on polymer, it’s the one thing the rest of the world has a leg up on the US in, damn them! Those back bacon eaters and their fancy money, don’t get me started. What new dollar, sorry, bank note design is not met with a little controversy? The 20 is being called “pornographic” and you’ll see another image that’s often frowned upon.

Looks suspicious eh?

I don’t see what’s wrong with some naked chicks, but I can see why the towers may be seen as reminder of the World Trade Center. I’m just glad the Queen is there to make it all better. Now inside the frosted maple leaf on either side of the note is set of invisible images of the number 20, it’s on all the notes. If you do this, you’ll see them.

I spy Alan Thicke.

If you want to see the 20 in action, here’s an informative video from the Bank of Canda (if I could riff this I would rip it to shreds!)

Until you put her:

Or him

Or HELLO! her on a bank note

Canada, consider me skeptical and offended…