TV Shows I’m Almost Over

I started to write a blog about Cory Monteith the other day, and my laptop froze up, then my draft didn’t save. Thus, a new idea has surfaced. Well, it just popped into my head.

I’ve decided the following shows, all of which I will always love, are starting to eat away at my last nerve. For now I’ve chosen three, and I maybe would have chosen GLEE, but that show needs me and its fans now more than ever.

The Killing (AMC)

blogs.amctv.com

blogs.amctv.com

I will never understand why after waiting not one, but TWO seasons to find out “Who Killed Rosie Larsen?” AMC would cancel, then order more of this seriously flawed series. The original Danish series ran three seasons, so, maybe we will only get three here in the States, and I couldn’t agree more. Now I love Mirelle Enos and Joel Kinnaman, who play detectives Linden and Holder respectively, and they are still doing good work, but the series just doesn’t feel the same. To boost star power, the series has added Peter Sarsgaard as death row inmate Ray Seward, but his character has nothing to do with the case the investigators are following. Linden and Holder are searching for a missing girl, imagine that, and this one may still be alive. One new character I’m enjoying is Bullet (Bex Taylor-Klaus), a teen bull dyke street kid who is trying to help with the investigation. The rest of the goings-on are pretty boring. However, I will finish the season so I can have some answers.

The Real Housewives of New Jersey (Bravo)

upload.wikimedia.org

upload.wikimedia.org

Gah! I don’t even know where to start with this bunch. Now in its fifth season, the Franklin Lakes ladies are really annoying the shit out of me. Although we all know reality TV isn’t real, the RHONJ production is at a point where every single scenario has to be 90 percent contrived. Prime example, this past week’s episode where Teresa Guidice’s brother Joe calls her “scum” and then her Joe comes charging in to demand an apology, and brother Joe dashes at husband Joe and a “brawl” ensues. Sheesh! And I think the real reason Teresa fights with everyone and her family is because she is more than likely the top paid wife on the show. High salaries demand high drama. Just ask NeNe Leakes. The only person I can stand on the show is not a housewife, it’s Rosie, Teresa and Joe’s cousin and Kathy’s sister. She’s probably about as real as you can expect. Jacqueline and Caroline? I don’t know why they are still on the show, they are totally useless, especially Mrs. Manzo. Damn I miss the good old days of Danielle, flipping tables, and cops without badges.

Okay, this last one I’m over, it pains me to write it but…

Dance Moms (Lifetime)

mylifetime.com

mylifetime.com

What?!? Yep, I’m about to throw in the towel on the ALDC. No, wait, the Candy Apples. Just who the hell is this show about anymore? Contrived beyond compare and I really believe it was from the beginning, but it didn’t matter, I was entertained. Now, I’m bored. Lifetime is rolling out new episodes faster than new Twinkies, and it has to stop. Seriously, unless there wasn’t a salary involved, what mother would put her daughter(s) through this? Well, I know one personally and so far, I haven’t heard one negative thing (except the cost!) about her and her daughter’s experiences. Thank goodness. The other day when I was having lunch with my sister, she talked about how she wants to put my niece, who is almost 2, into dance classes in a couple of years. I say fine, as long as her instructor is not an Abby Lee Miller. Dance should be fun and none of the girls on Dance Moms hardly ever look like they are having fun. And I got the most upset when there was a 3-episode arc this past season devoted to Cathy and her rotten Apples. You can’t make that scenario up. Vivi may be a human prop, but I really feel sorry for her. She is one unhappy and bored little girl.

Dance Moms: Rosa Parks Was White?

This post should really be a very honest and open letter to Jill. I’ve never liked Jill, and this season, her non-likeability is at an all-time high. I’m just glad the other Moms sit back and enjoy the crazy train. Oh Kendall, it will get better.

mylifetime.com

mylifetime.com

Like right there. Jill decided last week, or was it the week before, to take Kendall to get new head shots. It’s a fine idea, but yes, Jill had to bogart the last few takes. Who’s really the star here? All I know is the Dance Moms producers, which I’m sure by now Abby is one of them, they are evil geniuses. We all know Cathy is supposed to be the hated one, but really on the show, it goes both ways. Okay, let’s do a little bit of a recap.

Basically, last night’s second two-hour episode was dedicated to Abby sick of losing, and she decides to take her team to Cincinnati, Ohio for a competition and of course the Candy Apples will be there. The group number is entitled “Rosa Parks” and for some devilish reason, Abby doesn’t decide right away to give Nia the lead. Now before I get to the insanity, Abby decides Holly needs a fashion makeover. So naturally, Abby takes Holly shopping, however, what the hell is Jill doing there? She makes up some bogus excuse that she wanted “to be there” for Holly. Right. OH JILL, are you really trying to convince Abby that Kendall should have the lead or “special part” as she calls it AS ROSA PARKS?!? Correct me if I’m wrong, but I don’t think Parks was ever white. I guess I have to admire Jill for trying, but seriously? I love how Holly acts aloof  during the whole situation. She knows the real meaning of the story Abby wants to tell, and by the time we get to the number, Nia knows it too.

Oh let’s visit the Candy Apples for a moment. Cathy is convinced, once again, her boys will beat the ALDC girls. We actually got to see a little more of Vivi in this episode, and she was doing things besides mouth-breathing, like participating in a very short private lesson from her mother. Vivi also got to help Cathy shop for costumes for Jalen, who is the Maddie of the Candy Apples, and hell if Vivi didn’t try on the clothes. Not only is Vivi a “human prop” but she’s now in the early stages of transitioning. Way to go Cathy! In addition to getting occupation-based costumes for Jalen, Cathy brought in a choreographer whom I’m sure wasn’t cheap. Cathy claimed he had worked with “Jay-Z and Beyonce.” Whoa, it had better be good, but in typical Candy Apples fashion, things fell apart. You see, little Jalen was supposed to change costumes throughout his routine, and he couldn’t recover after his first quick change failed. His Dance Dad is something else; I just think it’s a little odd, but so is this entire series. Oh, and Cathy’s group number? “Candy Apple Style” Kill me now! My favorite part was when Jalen pulled one of these.

Chloe and Paige did a duet in mini-saloon girl outfits. And…they won! Gold star for Paige, finally. Maddie dressed as some type of match girl and she easily beat Jalen and Jalen’s meltdown. Now to Kendall, she worked with Abby on her facial expressions, and although she didn’t beat Maddie, she finished second, which is the best she’s ever done. One other annoying Jill moment, Mackenzie, who was “benched” this week for faking a foot injury, with Abby’s blessing, became the team’s make-up artist for the week, and of course Jill pissed on it and she didn’t think it was a good idea. Did I mention I don’t like her? Naturally, the climax of the episode was when the group performed their “Rosa Parks” number, with Nia as the lead.

And although the ALDC’s routine wasn’t quite as loud as Big Boi’s Mets jacket, it was classic Abby. Simple and theatrical, except when Brooke got lost at the end. Who cares? They beat Cathy! That’s all that matters. And while the post-competition wasn’t as catty, Cathy had two bodyguards with her, again, this is genius production.

I sense the season finale is soon, but next week, I think we are back to one-hour episodes. And I’m sure Kendall will still not be at the top of the pyramid.

Dance Moms: Water Water Everywhere!

(mylifetime.com)

(mylifetime.com)

I usually have TV watching conflicts on Tuesday nights, however, last night’s State of the Union address knocked out a lot of primetime network programming and I was able to enjoy Dance Moms in all its glory. And this was one for the books. A promo showed Candy Apple Candy hitting Abby with her oversized purse and I could see lots of water being thrown at Cathy by both Abby and Jill. Plus, the promo promised a “90-minute” episode, and although all the mayhem didn’t unfold until the last 5-10 minutes, depending on you are, it was one hell of a show. Emphasis on the word “show”.

I’m sure fans of the Lifetime reality series are wondering why it took so long to show a semi-physical fight between the Moms. There are plenty of verbal dust-ups every week, but this one was different. Simply put, Abby was at her wit’s end with everybody and it set off a series of unfortunate events.

But let’s do a bit of a recap. After Abby yelled at Chloe last week for dropping her hat in the group number that won, Mom Christi promptly packed up and hauled out of the dressing room and she hauled out of venue with Chloe in tow yelling at the camera people the whole time. So this week’s pyramid showed Chloe at the bottom with the word “suspended” scrawled at the top of her picture. The Moms discuss whether any of them had spoken to Christi and even Kelly couldn’t get her to return texts or calls. With Chloe out of the picture, Abby decides to award Nia and Paige a duet with Maddie and Kendall both doing solos. I’m really over Kendall and her Mom Jill. I’ve never been a fan, because Jill has always tried to brown-nose her way into Abby’s heart, despite Abby calling out Kendall every friggin’ week for mistakes. Plus Jill is a notorious shit-stirrer, and I pray she gets rid of the blond look soon. UGH!

Also, now that Chloe is out of the picture, Abby decides to bring back internet sensation and “it” girl Sophia Lucia and her Mom Jackie. Sophia came in when Abby replaced all of her team few episodes ago and she’s a really good dancer; dare I say, a lot better than Maddie. But when the regulars all came crawling back, Sophia disappeared and she suddenly disappeared on this episode. We learn Nia is having a great deal of pain in one of her feet and wouldn’t you know, she does have an actual condition that has Holly doubting whether or not Nia will be able to compete in Detroit. Meanwhile in Ohio, Cathy decides to continue competing with her all-male team (cop out!) as she’s still determined to beat Abby. I miss Vivi-Anne, the human prop, however, Vivi has been pegged into a new role on the show, a sounding board for Cathy. Boring! I wonder what Vivi thinks about sequestration?

It’s competition day and Cathy decides if she can’t beat the ALDC on stage then why not beat them on transportation. She arrives with her dancers in a stretch, black limo truck and of course starts berating Abby before they even get in the door, and Abby’s mood is not good and she tells Cathy to go to hell. One of Cathy’s Dance Dads (?) then gets in Abby’s face and of course Abby points out none of Cathy’s dancers are from Ohio. Peck-peck-peck! The love fest carries over to the ALDC dressing room when Holly decides to give Abby a little piece of her mind (she calls her “evil”) which prompts Abby to immediately pull Nia and Paige’s duet. Yes, Abby made a snap decision based on Holly’s attitude. After all the competition is over, Maddie beats Cathy’s dream boy Gino and Cathy’s dancers, ahem, beat the ALDC’s group number. UH OH!

Now are you telling me the producers didn’t make Cathy go in the ALDC’s dressing room to gloat? I mean wouldn’t it have been a better moment if was out in front of all the fans? The fight starts with Abby “accidentally” throwing a little water at Cathy thinking the “witch would melt” so Cathy decides to rare back and barely wallop Abby with her purse. Whatever happened to slapping and hair-pulling? Lots of cursing ensues and then Jill, who brought Kendall to Candy Apples after Abby wasn’t impressed, unleashes an entire bottle of water at Cathy’s dry, brittle hair, to which Cathy responded, unsuccessfully, with another purse swing. Is it over? No. Abby then calls up her mother to relay the events and Melissa starts panicking, telling Abby about high blood pressure and she thinks she’s going to have a heart attack. GASP! So the episode ends with disbelief and Abby exiting the dressing proclaiming she’s had it.

What’s next? Christi returns and Abby doesn’t drop dead. Until then…

zieglerprincess.tumblr.com

zieglerprincess.tumblr.com

Let’s Take A Gander At The ‘Dance Moms’ Season 3 Promo Shall We?

The season 3 promo premiered Sunday night during Liz & Dick, and I missed both. I recorded the ill-conceived movie, but I saw a tweet that the new Dance Moms promo was live and that the new season premieres 1/1/13. Normally I would break down the clip piece by piece, however, even though Lifetime has a YouTube channel, the promo is not available at this time. So what you see was recorded from TV and I didn’t feel like cropping, but I do need to state it is property of Lifetime.

I don’t know where to start, but this may the best promo ever! It’s simple, all of the girls are dressed up a la Alex Owens, Jennifer Beals’ unforgettable dancer character from Flashdance and somehow Abby got thrown into Alex’s welding scene AS THE WELDER! By the way, Flashdance takes place where? Pittsburgh. Genius. And of course, the Moms are trying to get in the locked rehearsal, and it looks like Melissa, Brooke, and Paige are back. Let’s remember, everybody involved in the show is being paid, so Melissa apparently had second thoughts about pulling her daughters out of the Abby Lee Dance Company. Dollar signs and ratings people!

And does it looks like Abby has shed some pounds???? I thought the camera added weight. She looks better than ever, but let’s not forget, unlike Brooke’s music video (what the hell was that????), this is a professionally produced piece, Abby may be bigger than ever.

The final shot? Abby briefly re-creating this scene:

Only when she pulls the chain, the water lands on the Moms…and the tagline? “The Maniac is Back” BRAVA! I don’t know who will claim the idea, but this is the best promo I’ve seen in a while. I’m officially obsessed. Next pitch, the Moms re-create “Manhunt”, why not?

Dance Moms season 3 premieres Tuesday, January 1st 9E/8C on Lifetime.

Thanks To Dance Moms, Helen Keller Is Hot Again

DISCLAIMER: If you are over-sensitive or if you take things too seriously, okay those mean the same thing, stop reading now! What I am writing about is meant to be humorous (maybe) and it is not intended to take away the many remarkable accomplishments of Helen Keller. As this video shows, Keller could communicate with great ease.

All right, here we go. As all of many of my readers know, I’m a huge (no pun intended) Dance Moms fan. Abby Lee Miller is a dream reality star and her creative decision for Maddie to portray Helen Keller in her solo? I have to confess, I almost spit a mouthful of apple juice out when the subject was proposed. Abby has had her controversial routines, Nia as “Laquifa”, “Where Have the Children Gone”, and last week’s zombie routine which sadly did not score well. Regular viewers will remember Maddie had a meltdown in last season’s finale and her confidence was shattered going into this season, well, Maddie is back doing solos and I think this one is good. I think the name Helen Keller just makes me laugh, we’ll get to that in a moment, here’s Maddie, video courtesy of Lifetime.

So did Maddie win her division? No spoilers, I’m not telling! But after last night’s episode, it got me thinking, “what is so damn funny about Helen Keller?” I think the concept of a deaf and blind person is what appeals to the comedians out there, again, I don’t think it’s intended to just railroad her as a person and her legacy. Then I remembered that little episode of South Park where the boys and their fellow fourth graders stage “Helen Keller ! The Musical” for Thanksgiving, unfortunately, I wasn’t able to find any clips, I’m very upset, but I’m sure this image will refresh your memory. Yes, Timmy as Helen.

sharetv.org

And who could forget this viral video from YouTube of an actress as Keller in The Miracle Worker who was into her character so well…

Yet, her scene mates picked her right back up and they carried on as if nothing happened. Where was the Tony committee on that night?

Helen Keller rules!

helenkellerfoundation.org

Who’s Ready For Some Summer TV? This Girl Is!

I preface this post by saying, my head may explode after Tuesday night. Why? There are a plethora of brand new seasons of some of my favorite shows returning this week. Let’s get right to it!

MONDAYS: Season 5 of The Real Housewives of New York City begins!

Um, aren’t there a few missing? (nydailynews.com)

Yes, Jill Zarin, Alex McCord, Kelly Killoren-Bensimon, and last season addition Cindy Barshop are GONE! Frankly, I think letting Jill go was a mistake; her fights with Ramona Singer are legendary. Fans were probably skeptical when Bethenny Frankel left after season 3, but season 4 was very ridiculous and entertaining. Of course, the show continues for the Countess LuAnn de Lesseps, Ramona, and Sonja Morgan, who joined the cast in season 3. And when wives are let go, new ones must be found. In this season’s case, former designer Heather Thomson, author Carole Radziwill, and amputee (seriously!) Aviva Drescher have been brought in. I think my skepticism about the new “wives” is very high. But Aviva’s fake leg? I’m intrigued! (Bravo, Monday nights, 9E/8C)

TUESDAYS: Dance Moms, Rizzoli & Isles, and The Glee Project

mylifetime.com

Well obviously, we need to first address a new season of Dance Moms (the original). When we last left Abby Lee Miller and company, Maddie lost her mental focus and she screwed up royally and Abby literally left the girls and Moms at the competition after Cathy’s Candy Apples BEAT Abby’s Junior dancers by one point. One positive, Chloe ended up receiving a scholarship from the Joffrey Ballet in New York, and she beat one of Abby’s defectors, Kendall. And we all remember Kendall and her Mom Jill from last season! Cheap cowboy hat ring a bell? I gave Dance Moms: Miami a chance, but it didn’t take, Abby is where it’s at and I can hardly wait! (Lifetime, Tuesday nights, 9E/8C)

Love them! (tntdrama.com)

Tuesday marks the return and third season of Rizzoli & Isles. I’ve only recently started watching Jane (Angie Harmon) and Maura (Sasha Alexander); I caught the tail end of season 1 and I watched all of last season. It’s a great show and it’s nice to see an all-female team fight crime again. Harmon and Alexander have a great chemistry, which has created a whole lot of “are they or aren’t they?” subtext for lesbian fans of the show. It’s hilarious how obvious it is sometimes. (TNT, Tuesday nights, 9E/8C)

(oxygen.com)

Last, but not least, The Glee Project is back for a second season. As you recall, Damian McGinty and Samuel Larsen were co-winners of season 1 and McGinty easily got more camera time, even though he was just another kid in the choir room in the last couple of episodes. Lindsay Pierce and Alex Newell also got to appear on the show, Newell in a prominent role as “Unique” star singer of New Directions’ biggest rival, Vocal Adrenaline. 14 fresh faces, including a blind boy and a girl in a wheelchair, will vie for a coveted role on the FOX hit series. This season, in fact I think in the first episode, the contestants will wet their pants when Lea Michele/Rachel Berry serves as a guest mentor. And as usual, co-creator Ryan Murphy, choreographer and co-producer Zach Woodlee, and casting director Robert Ulrich will make the call on who makes it to safety each week. (Oxygen, Tuesday nights, 10E/9C)

And I guess I’ll be smacked in the face if I don’t mention season 5 of True Blood begins June 10th. New faces this year? Scott Foley plays an old Army buddy of Terry (Todd Lowe) and apparently Foley will shake things up. Christopher Meloni joins the cast as Roman, a member of the Vampire Authority. 

This ain’t OZ. (hbo.com)

And of course, Sookah, Beel, Eric, Lafayette, Jason, Jessica, Pam, Alcide, etc. will all be back, but will Tara (Rutina Wesley)? She sort of got shot and killed in last season’s finale; I have a feeling Alan Ball, who will step down as show runner, will go all Ryan Murphy on us and I bet he’s found a way to keep Tara on the show. And I believe Denis O’ Hare AKA Russell Edgington found his way out of the pavement. NO SPOILERS!   (HBO, Sunday nights, 9E/8C)