Bill Clinton’s Big Hands And Honey Boo Boo’s “Department Store”

My plan was simple, watch the rebirth of Slick Willy, then watch the fart machine. I think I made the right decision. Is Bill Clinton badass or what?

“Ze-ro!” (huffingtonpost.co.uk)

If I, or I should say we, could have one President for the rest of our lives, it would be Clinton, and not just for the razzle dazzle. Fact-checking aside, Clinton came correct in his DNC speech Wednesday night. I think he definitely re-energized the base and he did it going off script, seriously, why did they even bother with the teleprompter? Clinton is at his best when he charms and he speaks off the cuff. However, has he always had giant hands? And not just giant hands, but also, bony fingers. It’s true Clinton is half the man he used to be due to heart problems, and rumored veganism (notice I didn’t say vaginaism), but those hands creep me out! The only other guy with the exact same hands, this guy!

poorrichardnews.com

Head of State y’all! Wow, if Obama and Clinton had a baby, Chris Rock???? It’s just a theory. Will President Obama be able to stand out with his own nomination speech? It’s tough to tell. Clinton will always be a hard act to follow and there’s always mumblings of Secretary of State Hillary Clinton still thinking about White House run in 2016. We can all dream. And we’re all in this together. (I stole that line)

Meanwhile…

Never forget! (facebook.com)

It’s amazing how much lard can fill a half hour of TV. This week, Honey Boo Boo went wig-shopping at…wait for it…”Shh! It’s a Wig” in nearby Macon. As with the family’s visit to a spa earlier this season, the wigmaster/associate was a little taken aback by the Thompsons. Needless to say, Alana did NOT get a wig for her next glitz pageant. One line that made me laugh ever since I saw it in the coming attractions for the season, when Alana gets the panty hose put on her head for a wig, she says “I look like I’m gonna rob somebody!” Yep, it still makes me laugh, am I going to hell? Next on the agenda, Sugar Bear buys the family an above ground pool, since it’s soooooooooooo hot in Georgia. And let’s be honest, this series had to be shot LAST summer, thank God it wasn’t this summer or Mama would have swelled up like Jabba the Hutt. The pool made it to fruition, and Alana jumped in, and was bored with it after five minutes.

Next, I think, the family joined some friends for some four-wheelin’ and a fish fry. Now we’re talking. Well, there was this set-up that the gang was going to drive down to the local department store, little did I know, the department store?

Oh dear (mynews-today.com)

When they pulled up, I said out loud “Son of a bitch!” Yes, the Thompsons and their friend Tony, went dumpster diving! And at one point, Punkin got rolled up in a what I’m sure was a disease-ridden mattress. Crazy has went too far! The stereotype has gone too far! I love it! A story broke Wednesday investigating what kind of salary is the family making from the show. Here’s the story from TMZ. You’re damn right and since the show beat the RNC last week, I’d expect a salary upgrade, and maybe they won’t have to shop at dumpsters anymore.

I love this country.

 

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George Lucas…You Win.

I would call myself a fairly avid Star Wars fan. My childhood was chock full of the original trilogy (still the best!), action figures, various ships, and playing with those for hours on end. I would call it the ultimate memory treasure trove for me and my fellow Generation X-ers. But for creator George Lucas, three films wasn’t enough. First, now fifteen years ago, Lucas decided the original trilogy needed a tune-up, because the technology wasn’t available in the late 70s-early 80s for all the elements Lucas wanted, like a mobile Jabba the Hutt. So stupid!

And Lucas didn’t stop at revamping the original films. He wanted to make three new films that set up the original trilogy. I confess, I like both The Phantom Menace and Revenge of the Sith. Attack of the Clones was useless. Still, fans of the original trilogy, like me, were excited but maybe not quite as excited. Need I remind you of this:

Meeeeesa! (courtesy of Wookiepedia)

Appreciation for Lucas and his creations were starting to fane. Then  this week, the ultimate rape of Star Wars fans was unveiled: the Star Wars game for Kinect. Why rape? I think this clip speaks for itself.

Really, I have no words, do you want more?

Okay, really? Oh what the hell, one more, but you may want to throw hot acid in your face when you see, Darth Vader and the Emperor dance!

Yep, nothing is ever enough for George Lucas. Excuse me while I assume the fetal position in a dark corner.