Doomsday Comes Early Or ‘Idol’ Keeps Randy Jackson AS A JUDGE?!?

Apocalypse Yesterday! (Flickr/tanyagelman)

You know, for a few weeks there, I thought the American Idol producers had finally come to their senses. They were going to shift Randy Jackson from the judges’ table to a mentoring role on the show next season in order to make room for an all-star judging panel, headed by his old buddy Mariah Carey. Unfortunately, some dreams just don’t come true.

Both TMZ and TVLine broke the news today that Jackson has indeed been thrown a lifeline and he will remain at the judges’ table for another season; 12 seasons, 10, soon-to-be 11 years, I smack my head. And you know why I bet Jackson is staying as a judge?

“I give my all, to this mediocre dawg.” (Flickr/Music Star22)

I also believe all that talk about a “fourth judge” a la Kara DioGuardi, then Ellen DeGeneres, has now been reserved for Jackson, who will join Carey, and two judges, Nicki Minaj and Keith Urban, who have both still been unable to sign the dotted line. No matter the outcome on just who will be joining the old married couple, American Idol is finished! Yes, like the Mayan calendar that ends on December 21st, I predict the upcoming season of ‘Idol’ will be its last. At some point, Fox has to acknowledge they have other better shows to focus on and to promote, not so fast GLEE! I’ll have to reserve my comments for another post, but I think GLEE has to step it up or they are in danger. I’ll just say this, I know the network is trying to keep its audience after The X-Factor USA by putting the dramedy on Thursdays, but I thinks it’s a cop out and we’ll never see if GLEE can compete with season 3 of The Voice. A friend pointed out to me last night, this is the second run of The Voice this year, which is smart. ‘Idol’ always launches in late January/early February, it ends in May, and it’s another eight months until the next season.

The wild card in all of this is The X-Factor USA which finally premieres its second season, with Britney and Demi Lovato in tow, this week. Simon Cowell  expressed upset after NBC revealed last week an extra installment of The Voice would go head-to-head with the premiere of The X-Factor USA this Wednesday. I’m not sure, but it may just be for this week or for the duration of the Blind Audition rounds. It’s going to be a dogfight for sure, on-screen and off.

And I know I’ve said this before, I hope ‘Idol’ keeps Jimmy Iovine, who would make a great fourth judge, oh well…

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Bill Clinton’s Big Hands And Honey Boo Boo’s “Department Store”

My plan was simple, watch the rebirth of Slick Willy, then watch the fart machine. I think I made the right decision. Is Bill Clinton badass or what?

“Ze-ro!” (huffingtonpost.co.uk)

If I, or I should say we, could have one President for the rest of our lives, it would be Clinton, and not just for the razzle dazzle. Fact-checking aside, Clinton came correct in his DNC speech Wednesday night. I think he definitely re-energized the base and he did it going off script, seriously, why did they even bother with the teleprompter? Clinton is at his best when he charms and he speaks off the cuff. However, has he always had giant hands? And not just giant hands, but also, bony fingers. It’s true Clinton is half the man he used to be due to heart problems, and rumored veganism (notice I didn’t say vaginaism), but those hands creep me out! The only other guy with the exact same hands, this guy!

poorrichardnews.com

Head of State y’all! Wow, if Obama and Clinton had a baby, Chris Rock???? It’s just a theory. Will President Obama be able to stand out with his own nomination speech? It’s tough to tell. Clinton will always be a hard act to follow and there’s always mumblings of Secretary of State Hillary Clinton still thinking about White House run in 2016. We can all dream. And we’re all in this together. (I stole that line)

Meanwhile…

Never forget! (facebook.com)

It’s amazing how much lard can fill a half hour of TV. This week, Honey Boo Boo went wig-shopping at…wait for it…”Shh! It’s a Wig” in nearby Macon. As with the family’s visit to a spa earlier this season, the wigmaster/associate was a little taken aback by the Thompsons. Needless to say, Alana did NOT get a wig for her next glitz pageant. One line that made me laugh ever since I saw it in the coming attractions for the season, when Alana gets the panty hose put on her head for a wig, she says “I look like I’m gonna rob somebody!” Yep, it still makes me laugh, am I going to hell? Next on the agenda, Sugar Bear buys the family an above ground pool, since it’s soooooooooooo hot in Georgia. And let’s be honest, this series had to be shot LAST summer, thank God it wasn’t this summer or Mama would have swelled up like Jabba the Hutt. The pool made it to fruition, and Alana jumped in, and was bored with it after five minutes.

Next, I think, the family joined some friends for some four-wheelin’ and a fish fry. Now we’re talking. Well, there was this set-up that the gang was going to drive down to the local department store, little did I know, the department store?

Oh dear (mynews-today.com)

When they pulled up, I said out loud “Son of a bitch!” Yes, the Thompsons and their friend Tony, went dumpster diving! And at one point, Punkin got rolled up in a what I’m sure was a disease-ridden mattress. Crazy has went too far! The stereotype has gone too far! I love it! A story broke Wednesday investigating what kind of salary is the family making from the show. Here’s the story from TMZ. You’re damn right and since the show beat the RNC last week, I’d expect a salary upgrade, and maybe they won’t have to shop at dumpsters anymore.

I love this country.

 

Courtney Stodden Turns 18 (In Dog Years)

Folks, I’m sorry, but I still don’t buy that this 80’s- looking, cracked out vixen is 18.

pophangover.com

She looks rode harder than most 40-year-olds I’ve seen and trust me, I’ve seen some rough ones and I know I’m almost 37, and I don’t look it, but what the hell is going on here? If Stodden is 18, I was out of high school and starting my freshman in year in college before she was born. Here’s what’s even more weird, Justin (Les) Bieber turned 18 in March. You cannot tell me this bitch is younger than him and his baby dyke face. Hell, she could be his mother!

Here’s looking at you Principal Rooney (idolator.com)

Not buying it! Nevertheless, now that Stodden is 48 18 and legal, she has gotten tons of offers to do porn, well why not? Exploitation (i.e. fake knockers) keeps your name out there, well mainly on TMZ, but it makes you seem interesting if not whorish. And I ask with all the other train wreck reality shows out there, why in God’s name has she not appeared on my TV yet? Whenever she was really born, Stodden’s plastic style and no substance screams TLC, VH1, Oxygen, and so on and so forth. The fact that she’s married to a D-list actor (Doug Hutchison) who is A LOT older than her, or maybe they’re the same age, is the icing on the reality trash TV cake! Pun not intended, screw porn! Oh and here’s me, Oprahized!

37 and proud of it, you got that Gayle?!?